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Ive been taking off and on for 10 years now. more on then off. I take at least 12 to 14 5 / 325 percocet a day or 7 or 8 10/325s. I just don't know what to do with my life anymore. I go to work and physically function fine with them but I'm also a zombie, numb, non feeling, depressed. its like I want to get off but I'm afraid to. I just got my tax money back so I stock piled a bunch which actually only lasted a month. so only God knows how many I took last month. I am 46 years old and raising two grandchildren. at the point that I feel like hell on them and I feel like hell of them what in the hell do I do????

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Hello desperate girl,

I'm telling you this from personal experience - you are now in constant chaos and rush to get the pills, hide all the evidence you are taking them and you constantly go around and deal with people hiding your big secret. You're an addict; you know that as well as I do. The chaos I was taking about has to escalate at one point, someone will notice your painkiller use or you'll have to take responsibility yourself and admit, first to yourself, than to those closest to you that you have this problem and that you need all the help you can get. The longer you stay in this chaotic double-secret life, you'll feel more guilt and self-punishment, so all my wishes go to you hoping you'll find the strength to get help because this is no way to live your life fully,

Nicole

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