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I am 48 and my boyfriend of 1 year is 53. I love this man with all my heart and he treats me like no man ever has. He ALWAYS treats me with dignity and respect. Here is the problem. I have been starting to have ideas about marriage with him (I know he is having the same thoughts) however I feel VERY STRONGLY about the marriage vows. I was married once for 17 years and it almost destroyed me when I realized that I had to divorce him due to a drug problem that he made no effort to overcome. I have loved a few men since then, but no one that I would be willing to take a marriage vow with. HOWEVER, my boyfriend has been married and divorced 4 times. Marriages 1 and 2 were short term, before the age of 23. Marriage #3 was for 24 years. Marriage #4 lasted only 4 months. This REALLYy bothers me and actually BRINGS TO ME TEARS when I think that he has stood at the alter and said vows to 4 different women. How do I get over this hurt...........or is he not the one for me? Like I said, except for this, he is an absolute gem

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Dear J: 2 days ago I like my husband, 2 months ago I loved him. Today I can't stand the sight of him! I have been married almost 22 years. And there have been many times, that if I had had the chance I would have left him and divorced him on the spot.

When you take your vows, it NEVER says "I will honor you through drug abuse, emotional abuse, alcohol abuse and physical abuse" "I will stay with you even if I don't love you anymore" So that is really something to think about. I'm sure your bf probably loves being Married, and feels like he "Should" Especially since he is of that generation. Some marriages last for ever, and some don't. If he LOVES you and cherishes you, you grab on to that, and but faith in your love.

THAT said, take a look at why you have placed this post?!!!! Is it because you want someone to tell you not too? OR is it because you need to know you are making the right decision? Take a deep look at that. And the answer will reveal itself.

If you choose love over previous marriages, I wish you LONG term happiness! Life's too short hon! You could find a guy that's NEVEr been married, but doesn't make you feel truly loved! Is that worth it just for how many marriage licenses he has had. ALSO he was married for 24 years!!!! So he's not a fly by night kind of guy - 1/4 of the time anyway ;-) XD JK Hon! Good luck!
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Thank you SO MUCH for the feedback. I honestly did not want anyone to tell me not to marry him. I love him soooooo much! I went to a wedding this past weekend and I guess that is what hurt so much. I kept picturing him saying those vows with 4 different women and I was really sad. However after reading your reply, I know that you are right. I have searched my whole life for a man like him and I need to leave the past in the past and concentrate on our future. I have 100% confidence in his love for me. You are so right when you say that I could meet someone who has never been married...or maybe married only once, as I have been, and he might never love me as much as my bf does. I know WITHOUT A DOUBT that I have never met anyone as caring and loving as he is to me :-D
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