I'm 42 years old divorced. I was married for 9 years with a man who I was in love. Unfortunately it was only one side. He  is 10 years older than me and during our years married he treated me quite bad. Not physical but psychological. He always made me feel stupid and ugly. It was difficult for him to even have a normal sex life. I always felt he married me because he  needed to be married, like a social need. I was so stupid to actually still loyal. After 9 years I decided to ask the divorce. With my self steam on the ground I started to live alone with our only daughter. For many years I was emotionless. I needed attention, love  and feel desirable  but I made a huge mistake and I got pregnant. 

After couple of years to be leaving alone my ex husband approached me again. So, for the good of my family I decided to give it a chance. I cannot deny it it was just for  reaction because strong feelings were not anymore. We live as distant couple but still together.  Everything was under control until I started to get feelings for a young and sweet man. I started to feel again my heart beats and butterflies in my belly. But I feel so frustrated and scared to accept it. The young man is searching for me and I have to hide my emotions. It is terrible!  For one side I love the feeling for the other makes me so sad.    

Probably a long silly story but I wanted to share it with someone.