My husband and I have been married just over a year; and I do love him very much but do not think I like him.
I feel as if I am not allowed to do anything without him; and when I do I am accused of cheating, meeting my drug dealers and much more not true silly things.
We work together; so we are together 24 hours a day. I do not have any friends left; as we never do anything with other people.
I use to be a social butterfly; and would get out and mingle with people. Now all I do is work and come home and work. I never have 5 minutes by myself; unless I lock myself in the bathroom; and then I find my self hiding in there. I've became withdrawn; and honestly hate being around other people now.
If I got to the store by myself; I am always rushing because I know he is watching the clock; just waiting for me to be gone too lone. He checks thee mileage in our vehicle and if it is more than he thinks he accuses me of sneaking around. He tells me I am sleeping around, doing drugs etc. Well I am not doing any of that.
I try and talk to him if there is an issue going on in our life's and he just blows up and blames me, or says very hurtful bad things to me. He sits and pushes and pushes me til I blow up with extreme anger. Honestly he treats me horrible; but is always telling me that it is me that treats him like sh*t. He tells me all the time that I am selfish and only care about myself. That I always say and think; "me, me, me" when honestly every thing I do is for my daughter and him. Remember I am not allowed to do anything for myself.
We fight at least once or twice a week; and I just can not to this anymore. I hardly ever laugh; never have fun; and I treat the other loved ones in my life not very well. I am physically and emotionally exhausted and feel as I can not go on another day living like this. But I have invested all my money in the house we live in and have no money to get out; let alone all the money I lose when I do.
I am really hoping someone can explain to me when he does this; and why he is so mean?
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I am so sorry that life is very difficult for you right now. It will get worse if you don't do something. your husband"s abusive and controlling behavior is not going to get better all by it's self. First ask him if he is willing to go to marriage counseling. If he says "no". Life is too short to live like you are living, and your daughter will learn how men are suppose to treat women from your relationship with your husband. do you want your daughter to marry someone that treats her like your husband treats you. Tell your husband you are depressed and you need to see a therapist so you could get help with leaving him or get him into counseling. I was where you are at, and I had to leave with nothing. I don't regret it. You can find a nice man some day, but what is most important is your daughter and your emotional health. Please get help soon not later. I wish I could talk to you on the phone and help you though this, but we don't know each other. reconnect with friends for help or family. Get help fast please don't wait. God Bless you. Good luck.
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