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hello,
my best friend for 6 years asked me out about 6 months ago. i loved him since i first met him back in high school. i thought i was pregnant with his kid so he said that since i might be having his kid he wouldnt break up with me but admitted that he was going to before i told him the news. well i got the results back today and im not pregnant. what do i do to stay with him? he said that it wouldnt be my fault and that he isnt ready for a relationship because he doesnt feel the love for me yet. but i dont want to break up because im am deeply in love with him. ive never felt anything like this for anyone before and i swore that he was gonna be my soul mate. the love i have for him is strong i used to swear alot and i cut down on it. i made him write a list of stuff that he like in women and ive been trying to keep to it. hes even telling me that i should get a job and now im gonna be going to college in january. what more can i do im starting to give up....please help me...any advice would be awesome i just dont want to face the fact that were gonna split because id be lonely in my little appartment without him comming to visit me all the time.

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You can't make someone love you, no matter how much you love them. Eating your heart out is no way to exist. If he told you that he was gearing up to book before you gave him the baby news, a baby would not have changed his mind, and if it did, it would only be a temporary fix. He would have split either just before the baby was born or shortly after. You changed for him which is okay, sometimes, but you can not alter your personality and be someone that your not because you love a guy that doesn't love you back. This makes you look a little needy, sorry i don't want to hurt your feelings but don't do that to yourself. It's like he changed you and now he's out. You may be lonely in your little apartment for a while but that will change. Don't sit around waiting for something that may never be, it's not healthy and it gives one a very low self esteem. Please don't do that to yourself. If you hang on tight and tell yourself that you and he are a couple, your going to get your heart broken. He will more than likely "step out" with someone and you will probably hear about it thru the grapevine. NOT FUN, trust me, i know.
So start school, maybe get a new doo, maybe a pedi, buy a pair of rockin jeans, glam yourself up cuz it will help your self esteem and carry on, it sounds like his loss ;-)
If you want to talk i'm always lurkin around here some where, just log on hon.
Maybe someone one else has some stuff to offer you as well.
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he isnt the same guy that i ment back in highschool. the realy guy wouldnt of wanted to change me. so yah ur right, it would be his loss. hes the one that needs to change.
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Right on girl, now you sound like a proud and strong young women. If you can keep and maintain that attitude you will be just fine. I have been to hell and back to many times to list, i'm still in a bad situation but i am on my own and very happy, well for the most part 8-|
I'm here for you ;-)
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im only 23 and ive been raped twice, sexually abused numorous times and physically and verbally abused by multiple men and thats why i wont be able to trust them after him. i found out some sad news from the dr. a few hours ago now. i had a miscarraige. :'( :-(
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Oh honey, i'm so sorry to hear that. I WILL NOT say it happened for a reason as i hate the cliche, and i WILL NOT say that when a door gets slammed a window is opened, nor will i say that it was meant to be, i just can't stand it when someone says that to me. So be prepared to hear that from others, just givin you a heads up.
Recover from this and hold your head up and push thru. It might be a good idea to get some grief counseling if you find that your having a hard time on your own. There are many yound ladies here on this forum that have been thru this, jump over to the miscarraige thread and read some of their sadness, your not alone.
My thoughts are with you and please keep talking, that will certainly help you get thru it easier. Tho we are virtual strangers here, i have met some wonderful and intelligent people, they laughed with me and have felt my sadness on several occasions. Don't hesitate to let it out to us, it's okay :-(

Hugs
BBfeet9
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