OK TL;DR I guess would be...Might my boyfriend's bipolar mood swings affect the way he feels about me and treats me? And what would I do about this? He seems pretty stable though; but of course not perfect.
Okay, first of all I think I'm manic right now...I'm hyperactive physically mentally have no worries and I can actually talk about this because this is usually stressful to think about. (I'm either schizophrenic or bipolar, and I'm getting treatment but not sure what it is.) So if I'm confusing sorry.
Okay so first few weeks of our relationship were great. He seemed really into me, me the same. Told me he loved me two weeks in, and I wasn't sure totally what I felt so felt pressured to say it back. (And he claimed once he didn't remember saying it first!) The whole abuse of the L word kinda threw things off I guess, one time a few weeks ago he was considering breaking up with me. He said he didn't love me, thought we moved too fast. He knew there was something that attracted him to me, but he didn't know what. But then at that same time he uses all these flattering adjectives to describe me and said that was why if I took my life over him breaking up with him he'd be torn apart (my depressions been getting better and yeah I was sorta in danger of myself then, but I've learned to live with the possibility.) And a shame cause by then I really did love him and I love him...I would do anything for him and I want to help him to the best of my ability. But he was really depressed at the time so I thought maybe that was making him lose interest? A week after that he comes to see me and we're still together...that was a few weeks ago.
I can't tell where I'm going with this or where I'm trying to go with this. (Maybe cause I can't concentrate and stuff? Heh maybe all I'll get out of this is someone telling me they think I'm manic. I'd like to know what my problem is, but that's not the objective here at all.) I guess I'm just afraid of losing him as a boyfriend and I wonder if his bipolar influences the way he feels about me? And maybe when he said or thought he loved me, he was manic? Also, I think there's a chance he's afraid to love me because he says that "love is evil" because of the pain it brings...but then again it's only been about 4 months we've been together.
Sorry for all over the place post...normally I'm a good writer.
Okay, first of all I think I'm manic right now...I'm hyperactive physically mentally have no worries and I can actually talk about this because this is usually stressful to think about. (I'm either schizophrenic or bipolar, and I'm getting treatment but not sure what it is.) So if I'm confusing sorry.
Okay so first few weeks of our relationship were great. He seemed really into me, me the same. Told me he loved me two weeks in, and I wasn't sure totally what I felt so felt pressured to say it back. (And he claimed once he didn't remember saying it first!) The whole abuse of the L word kinda threw things off I guess, one time a few weeks ago he was considering breaking up with me. He said he didn't love me, thought we moved too fast. He knew there was something that attracted him to me, but he didn't know what. But then at that same time he uses all these flattering adjectives to describe me and said that was why if I took my life over him breaking up with him he'd be torn apart (my depressions been getting better and yeah I was sorta in danger of myself then, but I've learned to live with the possibility.) And a shame cause by then I really did love him and I love him...I would do anything for him and I want to help him to the best of my ability. But he was really depressed at the time so I thought maybe that was making him lose interest? A week after that he comes to see me and we're still together...that was a few weeks ago.
I can't tell where I'm going with this or where I'm trying to go with this. (Maybe cause I can't concentrate and stuff? Heh maybe all I'll get out of this is someone telling me they think I'm manic. I'd like to know what my problem is, but that's not the objective here at all.) I guess I'm just afraid of losing him as a boyfriend and I wonder if his bipolar influences the way he feels about me? And maybe when he said or thought he loved me, he was manic? Also, I think there's a chance he's afraid to love me because he says that "love is evil" because of the pain it brings...but then again it's only been about 4 months we've been together.
Sorry for all over the place post...normally I'm a good writer.
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