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I am asian and I met my husband online 4 years ago. When we started corresponding each other I told him from the very beginning that I want to have a family in the future. If he is not the kind of guy who wants children and a family, then I am not the right woman for him. But He told me straight that he wants to have a family again. By the way, he was divorced and have 2 kids on his previous marriage. To make the story short, I came in US and we got married. On the first year of our marriage we agreed not to have a baby so we can enjoy each other. In the 2nd year, I started asking him about planning to start a family. He told me that he is not ready to be a father again which upsets me terribly. Every now and then, I talked to him about this issue and he told me that he changed his mind and he doesn't want to have a child again. He doesn't have a good relationship with his children on his first marriage, so he felt that he is a failure and not being a good father. He is 13 years older than me, He said that he doesn't want responsibilities in raising and work to feed another mouth. We have long discussions about it and try to convince him to have a child, he is adamant of his decision and he said that if I really wanted to have a child. He will give me a child but I need to raise the child on my own. He wants me to sign a contract or some sort of legal agreement that he will not take any responsibilities in raising the child in all aspects. I was so heartbroken and feel insulted by what he said. I am 34 years old now and I know that I only have few years to be able for me to conceive and get pregnant. But inspite of all, I can't afford to leave him. I value my marriage very much and I don't see myself being with someone else except him. Please help me, I so confused and I don't know what to do. Whatever advice you can offer I would greatly appreciate it.

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Well, you obviously married him on false pretenses. Making you sign an agreement is absolutly ridiculous as well. You have to make a decision because your bio clock is ticking. What do you want more? A baby or your marraige? Or a divorce? Many marraige's break up bc one or the other doesn't want a family. If you want both, you may have to get it from someone else. Your husband sound's selfish and he apparently lied to you on top of it. It's not your fault because he doesn't have a good relationship with his first set of children.

Get pregnant and raise the child, without him, even tho he is there. Or, stay with him and follow his rule's, meaning no children. He sound's pretty sure about his decision, this is something you really have to think about. Maybe once he see's his child with you, he may change completly, i don't know. I don't think i helped much and i can't tell you to leave him.

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well...u can always "accidently" forget to take your pill
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Hi
What did you do?
Your story is the same as mine. I dont know what to do?
I really want to be a mother but my husband after 5 years changed his mind or he had lied to me all this time. Im hearth broken too.
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With a situation on a marriage with a visa tied on it, there's that question if he is thinking that you just want to have a baby to tied him to it and it's your meal ticket. He wants that legal agreement to make sure he is not being screwed up. Trust is hard to gain this days. Not even the person you love so much will give that 100%.

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We have the same problem! accept it or leave.Don't expect that he'll change his mind.Clock is ticking!!!

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