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I am going through very tough period of my life ... i am pregnant and my husband isn’t helping me much. He is medicated, since he is bipolar and is in loooong depression period. I understand him, but jesus, where is someone to understand me?

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I understand you, because I have been there; I was also pregnant and my husband had the longest depression ever then. Both, you and your husband are in very tough period. I think he is afraid of fatherhood, being bipolar and father isn’t an easy task, trust me! I really do not know what to say, but he is bipolar and you must take his actions with some credit. I know it is hard, especially since you are pregnant, but I am praying for you!
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I am so lost right now. As I am typing this reply, my husband is sitting in a hospital on a 72 hour hold because he had an episode at a doctor's office on Friday and the doctor called the cops. I am not sure whether or not to be mad at him because for the longest time I have told him that he needs to think before he speaks and apparently he stuck his foot in his mouth and wound up in the hospital for 72 hours. What he does not remember is that this is the second time that this has happened.
Part of me is wondering how do I find the man that I fell in love with and the other part of me is considering ending my marriage. When we got married, he did not tell me that he was bipolar, I had to find out after I called my house one day and the cops answered saying that he reported himself because he was beating someone up for no reason.
I have sat here alone in my house for the last 2 days crying my eyes out wondering where to go from here. I have never felt so alone about this situation. I cannot talk to his mother because she barely knows how to deal with her son and I cannot talk to my mother because she does not need this grief 12 hours before she is scheduled to have open heart surgery. I feel that because he did not tell me about this in the beginning, he did not give me the chance to understand him and this illness.
I miss the man I fell in love with and I am trying desperately to hold on for better days ahead.
Please pray for me.
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I know somewhat how you are feeling, my husband was diagnosed as Bipolar a couple of months after our wedding. Since then it has been a daily battle, after deciding I was going to leave as I couldn't handle it anymore, I had a change of heart and stayed, got pregnant soon after and we now have a 14 month old daughter. I feel like I am stuck in a never-ending nightmare, up and down up and down, am again having thoughts that I should leave and be free of this negative fog around my head, but have feelings of guilt, fear, and am so unsure what to do. I feel alone and confused. I want to have another baby but don't know whether to stay in this situation and try having one or to cut my losses and hope to meet someone else without a mental illness! I have prayed and prayed and feel perhaps God wants me to live like this forever.
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Honey I just had another child with my husband (bipolar) and it ripping my marriage apart. He suddenly is manic and feels he is inadequate as both a husband and a father. Please think about your decision...you need to think of the child you already have.
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I am new here ad was looking to see how alone I am now that I have to make a choice wehter to start taking Lithium for my recent diagnosis og=f Bipolarism. I was reading some stories of wifes being married to a man that is Bipiolar. I now can see some of the other half of my marriage now. I am a man with a history of depression, anxiety, panick and now Bipolar desease. I am going to pray for the wifes that
told some stories of the problem marriages due to the husband being Bipolar and hope that my wife never never decides to leave me for I will not want to live no more after if that were to happen to me. I am sure the husbands written about here will probably feel like I do so please ladies help your man out help him with this terrible illness that just crept up on me. I never knew I was ill with depression or what not. I am a Viet Nam Era vet and was involved in quite a few or alot of traumatic experiences thruout my threee year tour of duty. I thought it would go away gradually but instead got worst and worst as time went on. 1984 was the year the sky fell on me and have not stpped seeing doctors ever since.
Seems I'm getting away from the main subject but I have you all in my heart and will pray hard for your marriages.
Try to have a Merry Christmas and a Happy and better new year. Praying for you,
MannyM
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I dated someone for 18 months who I believe was bipolar and borderline personality disorder. At the beginning of the relationship he was so charismatic. So engaging. He was emotionally perceptive, and made me feel so wonderful after a marriage that was 20 years long.

I had 5 children and he made me laugh and his energy high. The high energy turned into more anger after about 6 months. My ex moved 6 houses away from him due to jealousy. His high energy created a paranoid anger in him and after that point he became suspicious of me. Always thinking I did not love him enough. I could not fill up his bucket of love as if there was a hole in it.

His business started suffering. He could not focus. He called me several times at work to make sure I still loved him. He would hike the mountains at night at times and then a few days later lay in bed listless. His cycles were rapid.

One night he had guns out when I went to his house. This was after dating for about 10 months. He texted me and told me 3 squeezes and a kiss which meant that he was saying goodbye. My phone battery was dying and I rushed to find where he was. When I found him he had a loaded gun and he had taken several pills. I took the gun and threw it in the bushes. We went to a counsellor that night.

He was put on an antidepressant.....and this made matters worse. His paranoia became worse. He was suspicious of me. I was in a trap....feeling like if I broke up with him he would not be safe. Loving him...but not knowing what to do.

The summer continued. His business went south. I say nooses in his truck. He would not go back to the Dr. He was sure that I was the one paranoid. He created problems with my ex husband to the point that a custody battle was being created. He moved in with me....pushed me for marriage. That would solve everything for him. Make him secure. He wanted me to get pregnant. I was hesitant about marriage...but in a trap of sorts.

He lived at my house for 3 weeks. Nights were bad. He would get me up to argue. He would cry and then take off in his truck. I was exhausted. One night he took off and in a typical fight he said that I did not love him and I told him I did, but could take no more.

Extreme reaction. Took my daughter in to the Dentist to have her Wisdom teeth removed and called his family while in the lobby. His brother was a policeman in the town I live in. He was making suicidal texts. I was scared he would hurt himself. I told him I could not marry him. He was out of control. I called the police. He was up the Canyon. He looked at me and said, "How could you do this to me."

The sheriff pulled me aside. I was crying and in great emotional pain. She said that I could not save him and that he was ill. That I needed to take care of myself and my children. He went to stay with his mother.

I called my parents and asked them to come down. I needed their support.

Over the next two days, while he was at his parents, he texted me and begged to get back together. All hours...begging. Telling me he was dying. I was emotionally exhausted. I could no more. His family apparently had been through this many times. They were a lovely family. His father had commit suicide when he was 12.

My father went to talk to the family about what to do....he had all his things at the house. It set him off. He angrily left and started texting me angry words. Blaming me for the accident that he would create. Blaming me for breaking his heart and that I could tell his children. He rigged his bacco to fall on him right then and texted me while he did it. It was so painful. He was in so much pain.

I never went through anger. It has been 2 years. Lots of sorrow because while he was very sick, he had a life force that was bigger than average. I told my father one night after the funeral in sobs that I loved him.....but could not live with him.

I don't know and have stopped questioning if medicatons would have tamed the beast of illness. I am glad his children seem ok now. That is what hurt the most. The kids. I know it was not my fault now after some help. It seems more distant now....and I am grateful for this. It is really hard to know what it is like, unless one has been in a similar situation. It is really hard to understand the illness when they present so wonderful in the beginning.

My father went to talk to his family.
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I was reading these posts and wanted to reach out. My husband was diagnosed with BP 4 months ago. I have known him for almost 15 years, we met as freshman in H.S. and have been married for 3 years, and have a beautiful 20 month old son. Looking back over the years the diagnosis of BP makes sense, the things my husband went through, anger, horrible depression, alcohol and drug abuse, the reckless and dangerous activities. We were friends most of the time I have known him, and for a long time, especially when we were in college and friends I tried to understand this new person that I loved. I blamed his friends, his depression, his past history of adoption for scarring him, I thought all of these things were the reason for his alcohol and drug use, along with being a typical college guy experimenting. Then college ended, friends changed, drugs stopped and drinking continued. He seemed on the right path, working hard to change but struggling and having angry outbursts, such internal anger. He had a hard time for a while with jobs, but finally pulled the pieces together for a while. We got married. The problem now was that when all the factors that I once blamed for him behavior were removed, he still had something wrong, and now he and I were trying to understand where his feelings were coming from. Our son actually helped him for a while, he wanted so desperately to be a good dad, and he is. HE just was struggling and taking out his feelings on me. One day he admitted that he needed help to figure out what was wrong because he didn't want to keep hurting me. We went to his doctor, then a psychiatrist and he was eventually diagnosed with BP. I know I am blessed that he wanted the help, that he stopped all drugs long ago and recently stopped drinking, and takes his cocktail of medications faithfully. While he does this, he has still had hard time but is working to find the right combination of treatment. HE did have a manic episode and drove himself to the doctor for help immediately. It was horrible, but at the same time I am so proud that he recognized his need for help. The point of this message is hope. I have a deep faith in God and do believe that all the challenges we face are there to make us stronger and that the Lord will not put you in a situation you can't handle. Now, this isn't me saying to stay in relationships if you are in danger, but it is me saying that if you are safe physically, and you have a true love between you and your spouse, you may be where you need to be for them. You may not always recieve the help you want from them, may not always feel supported, but that doesn't mean they don't love you or what you do for them. When my husband expresses his love for me in his strong moments it is the most beautiful gift that I can recieve from him, and it carries me through his moments of weakness when I have to carry him through. As long as your spouse is actively trying to get their illness under control,and trying to maintain their healthy place, stay strong. We have to remember that this is an illness, not something they can choose to have or not have. You wouldn't leave a spouse because they had heart disease or diabetes, so as long as your spouse is working to treat their disease and you are safe, stay and work it out with them. They are still the person that you fell in love with, sometimes you just have to uncover that person and help them face the fears that they have about themselves with you love and reassurance. I don't believe I was put on this earth to do anything more important than to love, and I can't think of anyone who needs my love more. I will pray for you all, and I hope I can give you a bit of hope with this message. PArt of loving the person is also loving the disease that is part of them. Embrace it, learn about it, do not fear it. Fear makes us lose control of our emotions and lives, which is the last thing we need with BP spouses.
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While I agree to some extent what you are saying, I disagree that you can compare a mental illness to heart disease or diabetes....the reason I say that is because, while it is a disease and cannot be cured, the emotional, verbal and physical abuse some deal with as a result of this type of illness does not exist in heart disease or diabetes. This is a very cruel disease both to sufferers and loved ones. I have known my SO who suffers from bipolar for 25 years and we have been a couple for 4. I can say this with my own personal experience. Sometimes, love just isn't enough. I love my SO more than words can describe. I have NEVER turned my back on him and continually help and support him. I am currently struggling with the fact that I am completely emotionally drained. I have no energy left to even try to help him and to keep being treated without any emotion or affection is finally taking its toll. I know God only gives us what we can handle, but maybe I have learned what I need to learn and it is time to separate myself from this drain. I am only human.
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i have bipolar,adhd depression,my husband ,been cheating,we are not together,his family been very cruel towards me and kids, i am medicated ,worst part is unable to express the hurt ,wont release,. But at the end of the day, it's not your fault,Yes it's like living in your own nightmare,each day itself,is a challenge,Look on the bright side,as long as you can smile,it will be ok,Dont let any man make you feel bad.It is cause they are weak,Blaming spouses for everything /excuses,.they arnt worth the worry :
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