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I have been divorced for a couple years now and unexpectedly met a 22 year old who I absolutely loved spending time with.  At first things started as no strings attached but since we have been together have both agreed we have grown feelings for each other.  Frankly, I had no clue how this was supposed to work:  here is this young man telling me he didnt care how old I was, that I was more attractive than anyone his own age and he didnt care that I didnt want to get married or have anymore kids.  I know that he wants children badly and (until I found out i was pregnant) once I knew I had feelings for him even considered it should things progress into a full fledged serious relationship, he has also changed my mind about getting married as well.

I have 4 children already: 20, 18, 12 and 11 years old.  I am worried how they will feel about a baby...they were already somewhat uncomfortable about our age gap let alone having a family with him.  I have not told another soul that I am pregnant (5 weeks) including him.  I have such mixed feelings:

1.  I am older so my ability to have another child diminishes each day as I age.  If I choose to not continue this pregnancy am I risking not being able to get pregnant again later down the road?  I feel selfish for being given this opportunity to give him this, but worry how selfish my kids will view me as for possibly the embarrassment a pregnancy at my age with such a younger man would cause them.

2.  We have not even been together for a year, how do I know our relationship will even work out let alone be able to maintain the ability to raise a child together?  Again, I considered pregnancy but always assumed we would have time to grow the relationship first.

3.  We also live in a small town where image is everything I am co-owner to my family's construction company and worry what stigma this would all place on us as a family business.  

 

I just need help with other peoples points of view to try to sort this all out and possibly help me realize other things I am not thinking of, Thanks

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I'm sorry but you are in no position tp have another baby. It might seem cruel and selfish for getting abortion...but it outweighs the cons of acrually having it. Somehow I feel your kids will constantly ask you "how could u do this?" If u do decide to have it. Also, do you really think once that child is over 15, that it will have the same respect for you? Or that it will be close to his/her half siblings?

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I'm not a therapist but the chances of this 'working out' are slim to none. I grew up in a small town and this is just not going to work. One of you, I think you, should have thought about birth control. This is a train wreck waiting to happen. To be frank, one of you needs to start thinking.
The family dynamica of your son having a stepfather or a constant companion to you ...I can't comment on this further.
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I know what you going through please keep the baby, dont do abortion
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This seems like a difficult situation, but really it comes down to what you and he want. He definitely deserves to be told about the baby before you decide one way or another. This is his child as well and he will likely be a wonderful support to you, no matter the paths you both discuss. If he does want this child, then that is something to consider as well. I believe that your other children will be excited to have a sibling and you shouldn't underestimate their ability to love their new half-sibling. As far as the community is concerned, stigma is a short-term problem. I doubt very much that this will impact your family business, though tongues do wag (generally those that are bored and spiteful and shouldn't be listened to anyway). 

I hope you feel you can continue to discuss on here and will keep us updated,

Rebecca

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But think about those four children's also what will they think if their mom giving birth at the age of 40...?
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This may seem cruel, but get rid of the baby. This guy is only 22. He's too young. The fantasy of raising a baby and the reality are two different things. This guy is still growing up. he will change and not in a good way. you will eventually be seen as a hindrance to his further development, and he will want to be with younger women. It is not going to work. Please I hope you haven't brought a child into this. Those romantic feelings of love will eventually go away
and you will be left holding the baby.
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