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I fell in love with a much older women. Didn't see it coming from a million miles away. She is not sexy and I was never attracted to her but I fell for her as a person. She was my boss. I sat next to her everyday for two years.I had to find another job because we got to close and it was the healthier thing to do. We talk and have spent some time together with her adopted 4 year old. She knows that I love them both. She tells me that I'm still in my first year of sobriety so she has to wait for my first year to consider anything. She is in AA so those are part of the rules. I stopped drinking for myself by the way. She even asked my mom for approval and my mom didn't have a problem. They are really good friends. She told me that she loves me as a person and even shed tears when she thought she was never going to see me.

Now I know she is insecure about the age gap (27 years). She has been single for 20 years and never had a man love her for her. Do older women finally give in to a much younger man when they know that he really does lover her? I really do and I can't even imagine giving up. Should I give her space? I was thiking of not talking to her for a while and going to see her when my first year of sobriety is up in 4 months and telling her that I'm still in love with her so that she knows I'm for real. PLEASE help ladies. I was always all about looks now I've found someone's inner beauty and I'm attracted to her in every way I love her and never felt this way about anyone.I know what her body would look like without clothes and I don't care. I know thats one of her concerns.

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Thats about the sweetest thing i've heard in a long time. Ya know what, just let it grow on it's own. Don't push and pester her. Let her love blossom for you, it will in time i'm sure. There is nothing wrong with your wanting to love this women, age is only a number and should never be an obstacle when two consenting adults have mutual feelings.
It's so refreshing to hear that you are not concerned with her physical appearance. Some women don't feel comfortable when they look in the mirror, they may feel really funny about their naked body. That's okay, don't push. Continue to be a gentleman, it's so nice.
Many young men fall head over heals for an older women, these women have coined the phrase "cougar" but in a lot of cases it's very real and true, something like you and your lady friend.
May i suggest that you give her a little space, don't go off in another direction totally, just let her know that your close should she need you. Profess your love for her and allow her the option.
I think it's wonderful and you sound like a sincere young man. I hope it works for the two of you, it probably will ;-)
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my lover is 35 years younger than me when we are together there is no differance in our age we are compatable sexually emothinally physically and i do beleive spiritually, our morals and ethics are of the same values, as we know we have known and loved each other many times before in other life times. often this is the reason for a familiar comfortable passionate relaionship that has deeper roots than just this encounter.
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That post was soo beautiful to read. I also believe that soul mates can find each other an age is not a factor.

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Hi Daniel,
That was a great post! Seriously. I'm in a similar situation as you, and it seems like the only posts I see on the younger man-older woman subject is about sex. But you're talking about love and emotions and a future together.

I know your post is about a year old, so enough time has passed that something has probably happened. You're either with this woman or you've moved on. Also, you're both either still in AA or one or both of you is out. I hope you're still both in AA.

My reply may or may not relate to your current situation, but maybe it will help someone else. I'm 25 and my wife is 62. We married 5 years ago after dating for a year. That year of dating was a learning experience for both of us, because we had to learn how to deal with other people's perceptions of us as a couple.

My situation probably differs from yours in that you didn't see your feelings for an older woman coming. You said it happened out of the blue. In my case, I've always been attracted to older women and began pursuing these relationships once I graduated from high school and moved on to college.

I've talked to a psychiatrist about my attraction to older women. Its not common, but its not a bad thing either. Its just the way my brain is wired. I'm happily married and I still "look" at other women, but I'm always turning my head toward the older woman in the room- not the younger ones.

I think its fantastic that you're love interest spoke to your mother about her feelings for you. Believe it or not, mine did too. She pretty much had to because I introduced her to my mom as someone I was very serious about. The introduction went well because I primed my mom before hand and prepared her and because the woman I love is a lovable and wonderful woman.

I've heard it said that a man is prone to marry a woman who is a lot like his mother. That saying is spot-on in my case. My wife is 2 years older than my mother. They are both heavy smokers, and they have similar personalities and dispositions- nice but bossy.

My wife sounds a lot like your girlfriend, in that she doesn't look "young" for her age, and she doesn't look like a super model. My wife has gray hairs, wrinkles, and sags, and some extra weight around the middle and in the rear. In other words, my wife looks like a 62 year old woman who has experienced some life. The thing is that I love her and I'm so attracted to her.

I have several pieces of advice to you:
1) Age is more than a number and you will never be your wife/girlfriend's peer.
2) You will wind up being her care giver both physically and financially
3) You will always be mistaken for her son while in the company of strangers
4) She will always see you as being younger and less mature than herself.

I have learned to accept those four things, which is why I'm happily married and still in love.

Best of luck to you!
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suggest friends
For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need
someone to lift your spirits
When it seems like the only person who cares about you, is you
Life is full of pain, but does it ever get better?
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I don't know if you will read this post or not. Notice that it has been a year since you wrote your post here post #2. Like to say that it is nice to see another young man so much in love with his much older wife. My man and I are 23 years a part. He can't wait to marry me this year. Was reading your several pieces advice. In our case he treats me like I am his little girl and he is my daddy....LOL We have the role reversal when it comes acting our age. I look much younger and I am young at heart. His mother and I get along real well. I am 7 months older then her though. We tease each other about it. But her and I are not a like at all. Though I could be wrong. I did have doubts thinking he had mommy issues and that is what attracted him to me. I know he loves me deeply and I him. My one concern is not being able to give him children. Did you ever wanted kids yourself? I have two boys ages 21 and 26. My fiancée is 23 and is very mature for his age. My boys don't seem to like him, but I think it is more of a jealous thing with them. But my man loves my boys regardless. It is hard breaking to see him try to reach out to my children and they won't even talk to him. My dad has a relationship with my fiancée and they get a long real well. That really makes me happy. We had a lot of ups and downs in the last 5 years. Between his addictions, my insecurities, and family issues. I think we will overcome our problems, because I believe our love will get us through this. He never gave up on me and I can't see myself being with anyone else. I can't wait to be his wife.... :) For the one that wrote the first post. I really hope things are working out for you. That you gave her some space, but you also showed her that she was worth fighting for!
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I honestly think I’m on the same boat!
I fall for this older woman too, she’s at her 40’s but the problem is we haven’t really known each other for long; I fell in love with her the first time I saw her and that was through skype and she made me like her when she raises her brows. I’m not even sure if she’s married or not or probably have kids but I don’t mind at all. I met her in person and I can honestly say she doesn’t have model like body figure yet I don’t mind. She has this kind and understanding yet strong attitude that pulls me more to her. I used to like attractive girls but there she goes. She was a real mature and to me she ages beautifully and I know to my self If i would be given chance with her I’d treat with respect like I never did before.

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Hello

Just stumbled across this.

I am in the same boat.

Ok, I work in retail, and I had a customer. She's Colombian. Spanish speaking.

We decided to exchange numbers. I wanted to learn Spanish and she was happy to teach. But it's not gone that way at all. She's about to go through her second divorce and I have fallen in love with her. She feels the same way.

We've spent 7 days in a row together and now she is in Colombia for 2 months to see family over Christmas etc. I'm sad she has gone but the space will do us good. It will be a test in our relationship.

I love her so much. It's been a month but the connection we have in unreal. I thought it might be infatuation but it's not. We've spent time walking, holding hands, meals out, gazing at each other, making love - It's the best thing ever.

She's 49 and I am 30, so the age gap isn't too big.

The other day she kissed me in the shop. I was nervous but when we kissed it felt like no one else or nothing else mattered.

It's all happened very quickly so I really hope it doesn't fade. I have had love feelings before but NEVER like this. I can't wait to pick her up in 61 days time from the airport!

Advice, anyone? or even guidance?

PS No negative comments unless it's positive criticism.

PPS This is my blog post about her

***this post is edited by moderator *** *** posting of web addresses is not allowed*** Please read our Terms of Use

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I absolutely loved your post! I am for the first time feeling deep love and affection for someone. I wasn't looking for love and didn't want it...but the heart has a mind of it's own. I now have accepted I absolutely love this woman. I will be 36 this year and she will be 64. I don't know if she will ever be open to a possible relationship with me but I am trying to navigate this slowly. My heart and soul found something very familiar and knew right away like long lost lovers. We both have had trouble with these feelings and I believe we are both afraid and dealing with some denial as well. I don't know what will happen in the future but I am happy she is in my life in any regard. My soul knows her soul. I've never felt such a deep connection, attraction, and unconditional love for anyone. Of course, I went to a therapist, holistic energy/spiritual therapist, and a couple other professionals to make sure..am I crazy or what? Bottom line, the consensus was...Yep, you're In Love. Wish me Luck :)
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Did you marry?
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Hi Sam,

Did you marry?
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