Alright so currently i have a boyfriend and i like him very much. before i talked to him i had a crush on him for the longest time and had no doubts about myself. Well in october i had my first anxiety attack and since then ive gone to a therapist and know that i have generalized anxiety disorder. Ive worried about being a child molester,what if i dont like my boyfriend or what if i get abducted by aliens. Recently ive been worried that im a lezbian. This concerns me more than all the others because i worried about this in 6th grade before i even had anxiety. Im a senior now and 17 years old btw. Anyways i had forgotten about that worry but then the other day it suddenly popped in my head again. I like guys and they turn me on but watching girl on girl porn turns me on and boobs turn me on. I couldnt ever date a girl and i have nothing against people who are lezbian i just dont want to be one and i dont like having these thoughts. I was also watching a show on sex change and it started to turn me on for some reason? Like the thought of having a penis turns me on. but i like being a girl and wouldnt ever want to actually have a penis just the thought of it turns me on and thinking things that guys would think turns me on,, like "oh yah bend over" or something dirty like that.but i also like when my boyfriend talks dirty to me it turns me on too.so maybe thats why i think those things anyways. I feel like this makes me a lezbian because it turns me on. I feel like i should know who i am and shouldnt have to question myself and since i am questioning myself that must mean im a lezbian. Im freaking my self out i cant stop worrying about this. I just want to feel happy and normal again and be able to have a relationship with my boyfriend but my anxiety is tearing me down and im starting to give up and feel hopeless. please help.
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