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Alright heres my story, im going to see a psichiatrist about this next week for help but maybe you guys can give me some info also. I'd really appreciate your help.

So, first off, im 16 years old.. last may of 2009.. i tried smoking weed for the 2nd time (first time i didn't get high).. and once the high hit me.. i was laughing really hard for about 5 minutes and after that it was a disaster... i think i might have blacked out because i ended up sitting on a couch freaking out... i was watching myself move around in 3rd person.. like i was trapped inside my brain.. it was really scary.. and i wanted it to stop.... (im not even sure if i can finish this post becuase im starting to get sort of panicky and my heart is beating really fast) when i looked around it felt like life was moving in frames... its rlly rlly hard to write it out.. but it went like.. boom boom boom each frame was like that.. i guess it was my heartbeat or something.. and time was going by super slow.. but i already know that when ur high time is supposed to go by rlly slow.. but this was just a disaster.. anyways.. i promised myself i would never smoke again... i ended up doing it about 4 more times until september 7th i think that was the last time i did it at a soccer tournament.. every other time was sort of bad but i handled it a little better... anyways... about 2 weeks ago... i started doing this movement rubbing my hands together because i can make myself get a weird body high feeling by doing this... its really hard to explain.. even wen i was sober.. ever since i smoked weed ive been able to do it.. anyways, i did that hand movement again 2 weeks ago.. and this time its been permanent but worse... my vision is really blurry and wen i get nervous my heart starts beating rlly fast and i get the same 3rd person feeling again like im watching myself move around from my brain.. i read up on it and the perfect word to sum out my feelings right now is depersonalization.. its exactly what i feel.. and its really scary and i cant even go outside anymore.... not even that.. it happens wen im inside my own house.. wherever i am i can get rlly panicky if i think about it and ill start shaking and ill get that feeling i get wen im high.. thats y im not sure what my problem is.. im not sure if im having panic attacks or not.. i just feel like im high for life.. and its hard to control my thoughts at the moment because im pretty depressed right now... these past 2 years ive been depressed and sh*t in my life has been happening .. the worst thing is last year i changed schools which was my own choice because i wanted to try a new school for absolutelty no reason at all.. when i was really popular in my old school and had alot of good friends.. anyways my new school was terrible and the principal in my old school wouldnt let me come back... anyways i failed alot of classes at my new school because i barely showed up to school.. right now im not in school.. im going to adult ed in december to finish off.. but there is absolutely nothing in my life right now... im not playing sports at the moment, not going to school, and i miss my friends from my old school theyre all graduating this year and having a good time. to sum this all out... wat i think is that the weed has brought out my emotions and i just cant control them anymore... i really need help and i hope you guys can give me the most positive responses as possible... there are alot more things in my life that r bothering me but i dont want to make this post so long that you guys wont read it... so please help me out.. thank you.. p.s. just writing this is making me freak out a bit.

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yo ok so i had this sh*t too man all you have to do is relax and take deeps breaths and it wont feel like its working right away but trust me it is. the more freaked u get the worse it is gonna be so relax and enjoy your trip.
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i think its just panic attacks, weed cant make u permanently high, its not possible.. ur just remembering ur bad highs and and freaking out thinkin like uh oh i might stil be high.. happened to me before too for a few months, u jus have to relax, take it one day at a time and slowly it wil go away.. wil take time tho so jus try relaxing and concentrating on good things, things u enjoy and not bad things
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i member the 2nd time i had smoke i felt the same way. it jus anxiety. i went to counseling for it and i now know how to over come my anxiety. you are fine. :-D
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