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I am a 14 Year old girl. I think i have hocd. Or am I Lesbian? Or bi? Bicurious? Ive been having freak outs about this question for the past 5 months. I had finally gotten all of this to go away 2 weeks ago, though i still had these thoughts. I can not go on with this anymore. It came back and its killing me. Today i had the worst mental freak out ever, and currently still am. Im pretty sure i have a history of ocd, since i had a terrible eating disorder that almost had me hospitalized. I had never ever thought about being gay, never questioned myself, and never felt any different from other girls. After recovering from my eating disorder, the thought of being gay popped into my mind. After the thought started, it NEVER went away and just progressed into the worst feelings ever. It turns my stomach. I started to test myself daily, any chance I could. I would either take tests online, or I would look at pictures of girls to see if i was turned on. Now I used to watch lesbian porn. Im very disgusted with myself about that. I was obviously aroused by it. And i get aroused by any porn. But i find it to be nasty now. Ive always LOVED boys. Huge crushes after crushes on guys since I was really small. Mind you I had precocious puberty so ive always felt that ive been more sexual than a normal child would be. I am VERY boy crazy. Odd, but someone told me my sex drive was crazy. I love boys. But i dont get turned on by pictures of guys. I dont think i have ever seen a picture of a guy without his shirt that has turned me on. But a naked man does. At least half the time if I see a girl ill get turned on, and I hate the feeling. I imagine guys a lot, but never girls. Anytime I dont want to be turned on, I am. I find sex with men really appealing, and sex with women pretty nasty. My fantasies of guys turn me on. But pictures of girls turn me on! Why?! Does this mean Im gay?! What if my feelings towards guys just vanish one day?! What if I dont become turned on by them one day?! What if when I lose my virginity, Im not turned on?! Im constantly freaking out now, and i dont know what to do anymore. I dont want to be a lesbian, nor do I want to be bisexual. Sorry for the long post, I just really need help.

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No, you're not lesbian or bi or bi-curious. You are just aroused by any sexual imagery. You are under-age for pornography, and porn is dangerous. So I advise you to stop watching porn. With your interest in sex, you are likely to want to start a sexual relationship before it is appropriate. You can only lose your virginity once. It is likely that you will be encouraged to do so before long, but it is a major step. It is a bonding action. It is best left until you find your life-long spouse.

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