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Hi

I have had severe depression effect me 3x in my lifetime in a period of 20 yrs.  This epsisode has lasted the longest 6 months.  In a group & individual therapy but still don't feel right.

I have been on  Effexor since mid Jan. taking in the AM for depression/anxiety,   feel that my mood has not been elevated, no motivation, very difficult to get out of bed in the morning.  I have been struggling since October to find the right meds to make me feel better but so far no success & very frustrating!  Recently my Dr. prescribed lithium  & low dosage of risperdal @ PM.    I dont feel like I am myself & have been telling 2 different Dr.'s that possibly these meds are not working & they just keep saying 'give it time'...  I am unable to work which is even more frustrating not to be able to focus even daily easy tasks @ home are very difficult especially simple decision-making & reasoning.  

Should I get off these meds?   I dont trust these Dr's anymore- they just cant seem to help me!  Is it possible that my body does not want to accept drugs.  During the last 2 episodes they put me on meds that I recall (was quite a few yrs back) I was having a tough time adjusting to the right meds as well,   I did stay on I think for several months, but afterwards I ended up stopping.  I was ok for 7 yrs -  & here it is again but for half a year. 

Would like to hear any suggestions please  - I dont want to waste my life away anymore but seem to have no control .  I want to enjoy myself &  family again . 

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Get off Risperdal IMMEDIATELY. You will completely lose your personality, your emotions, your feelings. You will feel absolutely dead inside, soulless, and wish you had never taken this dreaded pill. I've taken it only for 4 days straight (1mg nightly) and now i'm 3 days off, because on the 5th day, I woke up as a zombie. It felt, and still feels, like something was shut down in parts of my brain, and I have complete anhedonia (lack of pleasure). Nothing seems to affect me, only negatively with anxiety, probably at the fact that I cannot feel anything. When my dad came home, I didn't have an emotional response to his coming in, nor to his presence. It's quite sad, and I've been crying and praying for this to go away, and that I could start feeling emotions again. I'd much rather be manic and experience strong emotions, even if it's mostly anxiety and irritability, hopelessness, and rage, rather than feel nothing at all. Everything is completely bleak, and what's more, by killing your emotions and sensitivity, you become completely powerless and without any will whatsoever. Whatever confidence I had before taking this, it has completely destroyed, and G-d willing I can regain it and my willpower. Even during my so-called "psychosis" and "mania" I was still able to work and had motivation to, at the very least, do things that can give me a measure of pleasure. With this damned poison, I have absolutely no will or desire for anything, and only ocasionally experience the willpower to pray to get out of this state.

Please, if you hold any value for life, do not take this drug. I'm very much hoping this "anhedonia" and seeming damage to my brain is not permanent. I've read elsewhere people experiencing the exact same effects from Risperdal, some of whom haven't recovered after months of stopping the drug. This frightens me even more, to say the least, and I'm wondering if anyone here experienced what I'm talking about and have recovered from it after stopping this drug. Please let me know.

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Thankyou so much for your imput, I will stop taking Risperdal, its only been about 9 days & taking only 1/2 mg @ bedtime, one time I accidently took 1mg. & the next day I stayed in bed almost all day & felt horrible! sounds pretty scary & yes I have been waking up like a zombie each day, seems like it makes me want to stay in bed longer & isnt' helping me get motivated in the beginning of the day, feeling even more depressed, let alone I relate to the blankness taking forever to have an emotional response. At times I am over- emotional where I havent been able to stop crying to no emotions at all , including the confusions ( "on what am I supposed to do next...") Thanks again for your feedback- I appreciate!

I did not get as many responses,  because I did not post this in the correct category & unsure on how to move it to the right place :/

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Hello,
Does anyone know how I can repost this into the mental/emotional health section?
Obviously it does not belong here in the pregnancy section.
Thankyou,
Peace
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I think somewhere here: https://www.steadyhealth.com/discussions/Mental_Disorders-c31.html

You can choose one of the topics most related to your post, e.g. ANXIETY DISORDERS, DEPRESSION & MOOD DISORDERS, etc.
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