My addiction to Adderral and how I can't stop taking it!

parrmani232666 over a year ago

I am running out of options and ideas...

I have been on Adderal for over one year now, and it's amazing to me

how much it has changed me as a person. At first it was for the

better, after fighting my eating disorder for a couple years, having

multiple root canal visits to my dentist and spending over thousands

of dollars on crowns, I was done. I use to be a very happy go lucky

kind of guy, everyone always told me how to "take your head out of the

clouds". I was a daydreamer for sure, filled with fanatasies and hope

for the future. I didn't have many successful relationships but the

ones I did have were men't more to me because of the strong connection

I shared with them then having tons of friends but no real

connections. Quality over Quantity, I work in sales and never had a

low commission check, one of the best on my team sales was my life and

I LOVED every second of it. For the most part my life was very

comfortable except for my own struggles within myself. Very insecure

about my weight which was always my short coming. Anytime I had a

failed relationship, a failed friendship, a rejection of any kind

wether it was at work, home, or in public I ALWAYS blamed my weight. I

never was obese, but I wasn't the lightest either. 6,1 and about 190

pounds throughout high school, when I turned 21 I was at my biggest

250 pounds and after that was when the bulimia started and I dropped

to about 185 in a year and a half. I reached a breaking point in my

life, aside from a rotting mouth, I began to lose focus at work, I was

unable to concertrate on regular tasks I use to perform easily. It

didn't matter how much I slept I still felt constantly exhausted and

drank energy drinks, soda, and ate a lot of sugar constantly. Nothing

worked, in fact energy drinks, and coffee no matter how much I drank

made me MORE TIRED. So I finally went to my family doctor, and after

explaining my symptoms he put me on 30mg Adderal RX's. I felt like a

new person the first couple months, like I was born again I was so

much more active, energized, focused at work, and full of life. I

finally felt as if they finally made the true happy pill the cure to

all depression. I began to drop pounds like crazy reaching 170 at my

lowest.

At this time a few life changing events had also occurred in my life,

For the last 3 yrs prior to this I had been in a 3 year relationship

with my ex boyfriend, Yes I am gay btw and we had just split 8 months

prior to me taking Adderall. I had already begun dating someone new

and we were beginning to get serious, I also had moved in with my best

friend of six years, and got promoted at my job to manager. I was on

top of the world, never had I been so happy in my life. But what I

didn't know was what goes up must come down, and it did hard...VERY

hard.

Now, I had always been a uptight, anxious, stressed out person. The

Adderal worsened this, not just a bit but a lot! Suddenly 2 months

into taking Adderal I began to get major anxiety towards my new

boyfriend, my job, and my friends at home. It didn't matter what the

situation was it made me anxious and very uncomfotable to be around

anyone! Even my best friends of years. One night I caught my boyfriend

"checking out" another guy at the bar, now I am not sure if he was or

not but at the time drinking alcohol and being on adderal sure made it

seem like he was, and if he was it was the end of the world. I cried,

and beat the c**p out of.... not him but myself. Gave myself a swollen

nose, black eye, and mulitple bruises all over my face. My friends

were horrified and were 2 seconds away from taking me in to a psyc

ward who would blame them? I don't even remember the night. This

became a daily ordeal, anytime I drank even the tiniest amount of

alcohol some kind of drama would come from it. Not hitting myself, but

throwing household items, bullying people, my boyfriend getting most

the brunt, and eventually turning into physical fights. You would

think I would learn my lesson, but I loved to drink, and I loved

Adderal. WIthout telling my doctor I was drinking with my medication

but telling him of my recent psycopathness he began to prescribe me a

train of anti depressants to take alongside the Adderal which made me

WORSE until after about 6 tries he put me on Lamactal which is for

Bipolar disorder and people who get frequent siezures. Who would have

thought I was not only ADD but now BIPOLAR with a mild case of

psycosis. To top it all off he precribed me Klonipin for my anxiety

and sent me on my way.

Fast forward to today, I have no friends, they stuck around as long as

they could but eventually disowned me and didn't want to see the very

sight of me. My boyfriend and I despite the very very very rocky first

few months moved in together once I didn't have friends to live with

anymore. We are now on the path of splitting, he has stuck by me as

long as he can but I get a lot of my anxiety from him believe it or

not. Always wondering if he is cheating on me, going to leave me

alone,....I am always worried. My family has disowned me, my mom can't

stand the very sight of me, and to top it off I am on a final notice

at work one more slip up, angry burst, emotional cry, and I am fired.

Leaving me friendless, homeless, jobless, single and alone.

I have in the last six months lowered my dosage to 15mg imediate relase instead of time release 30mg. It has toned me down a bit, but I still feel anxious, antisocial and very suicidal overdosing or at least failing to do so a couple times. I have tried coming off of it a couple times but everytime I do, my stomach swells up to the point that I look like a pregnant woman, having gone to the emergency room a couple times because of this I have come to find out I am extremely constipated and every laxitive in the world cannot produce a single bowel movement. I work out and have been working out 6 days a week for an hour a day doing heavy weight lifting, lots of cardio, and when I come off the adderal I still gain ten pounds at least within 1 week. So what do I do? go back. I don't want to be a zombie anymore, I don't want to be depressed and suicidal anymore, but at the same time I don't want to gain weight either. What do I do? Help?

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Guest over a year ago

Every ADHD drug is different and affects each persons chemical make up and out look on life differently. I tried: Concerta ( which made me
Feel insanely intense n focused but only on mondIne work.. Nothing that required any creativ thought process), Rittallin ( which does nothing for me... Less then caffeine, Vyvanse .. A 50 mg gives me 30min - 1hr of complete clarity then I feel mentaly but not physicaly exhausted, and good old Adderall... Which for me works the best. If I take Adderall first thing in the am; I feel it kick in after an hour on 30 mg and then depending on the kick, and what I have to do, I take another 10-20mg after I see where I'm at n where I need to be. I think you should try a different ADHD med n see what agrees w u best. Adderall just might not be the best option for you but one of the alternatives probably will be. Best of luck to u.

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Stadeida over a year ago

adderall's not to be taken lightly, you can lose so much weight that sitting on a bench will hurt your butt within 3 minutes, i know this from personal experience. After 4 years of taking adderall my amazing transformation into a well capable CEO of America went sour, realisticly I wasn't keeping up with myself like everyone else was with themselves. and this amphetamine was tricking me into thinking i was keeping up with myself but if you research adderall's effects on the brain it'll show you it just makes your brain work harder, if you continually take them and don't eat plenty of food, plenty of water you'll eventually go splat before you even knew to realize it i recommend strattera if that'd help you it'll help you focus but it might be more of a burning stare

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Guest over a year ago

hi...........
good information

thanks

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Guest over a year ago

I don't know if you have heard of a medication called vyvance but it is similar to adderall because they are both ADHD meds that come from amphetamines. Not only do I take a 25 mg dose of vyvance each day (because I have ADD witbout the H), I just finished a major project on adderall. I think your doctor could have misprescribed you, but possibly not. This is definitely not just addiction. Your body has already gotten used to it but I haven't heard of anything like it yet. I will tell you if I do find something though.

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Guest over a year ago

mmmmmmmmm, do you smoke weed? i myself have done a plethora of drugs in my lifetime rangeing from smoking weed every day and drinking often 3-4 times a week, too smoking plenty of ciggerettes and peer pressured bi-weekly meth use, i myself in my current stage have purposely abbandoned all freinds (people are dieing to see me but i simply wont have it), diagnosed with ADHD and bi-polar, i myself am working out and trying to lose weight, also gay, also have given up on relationships with both women and men(pocket pussys and dildos just work soooooooo much better), you might smoke a lil bit of weed, because i couldnt imagine being on that kind of speed on a regular basis being healthy, honestly, however id love some adderal myself, i wish i could offer better advice but if you have a problem eating because of this prolonged amphetamine use, marijuana will cure that along with some amazing psychological benifits which may help your system overal, as for your weight...i guess just double down on them work outs and ween yourself off da speed, oh yeah i stoped smoking meth 7 months ago and gained a considerable amount of weight, about 2 weeks of intense working out got me back into jeans that i outgrew due to the lack of meth(but meth f*****g sucks balls! id rather drink and smoke ganja!) of course ive been useing musclerev-extreme and lifeforce T-boost, which is just muscle supplements and testosterone supplements, but in the case of your psycho fits haveing suffered them myself if you dont already smoke weed i suggest you find some immediately, if you have no freinds that can help you perhaps try hitting up bars someone there is bound to smoke it, if not look for parties, liquor store cashiers i know some that toke, any fast food establishment is bound to have someone there 420 freindly, find someone on social media #facebook gas station cashiers, if you can tell when someone is stoned and thier clearly stoned and you explain your in need of something for deppression someone is bound to help you, good luck man

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Guest over a year ago

just thought of this: starbucks, to search for stoners, lol #stoner search, SOMEONE GIVE THIS MAN SOME HERB!

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