I'm 22 and I've been with my boyfriend now for just over 6 months.
We didn't start trying to have sex until 5 months after dating - my choice, I'm all for waiting till I feel ready.
We have tried twice, and both times we've had to stop because my body changes its mind.
Everything is going fine, it's not a case of me not being in the mood enough, I am - sex starts, 10 minutes in my body changes its mind - my mood literally crashes, my emotions shut down, and I just want to curl up and cry - it is then impossible for me to be put back in the mood.
The last time this happened I ended up crying, I felt like I was ruining it for my boyfriend - he tried to comfort me but I didn't want to be touched, I just wanted to be left alone - that feeling is fierce, to the point where I nearly started screaming for him to get out of my room.
One point to make, it's not something he's pressuring me into - he always asks, checks, you know? Making sure he's not getting the wrong signals.
The problem is that, ungh. The last person I was with was, well, the love of my life - and also my first.
After a while, things changed and he didn't want to be with me anymore.
I was beyond hurt - it was like he was the one, and I know that term gets thrown around easily, but he was it. That if there was anyone I could fit so perfectly with, it was him. Nothing needed over-thinking, questioning - it was just natural, this insane feeling of being so complete, full of life and -- Well it's the one. One, not two, not three, not as many as you'd like. I can't seem to shake that feeling - He was the one and I don't get another one of those. Oh, I might fall in love again - but whoever it is will never be that perfect fit.
I didn't have problems like this with him ever - even on the first time, sure a little pain, but my body never changed it's mind.
So why is it doing now?
Is it just because of my feelings on the whole "he was the one" issue, or something else?
Any advice?
NOTE: if ur advic iz guna b typd lyk dis - then don't reply. Not trying to be rude to the people who do type like that, I just can' stand messages that are typed in English that needs to be translated into English.
We didn't start trying to have sex until 5 months after dating - my choice, I'm all for waiting till I feel ready.
We have tried twice, and both times we've had to stop because my body changes its mind.
Everything is going fine, it's not a case of me not being in the mood enough, I am - sex starts, 10 minutes in my body changes its mind - my mood literally crashes, my emotions shut down, and I just want to curl up and cry - it is then impossible for me to be put back in the mood.
The last time this happened I ended up crying, I felt like I was ruining it for my boyfriend - he tried to comfort me but I didn't want to be touched, I just wanted to be left alone - that feeling is fierce, to the point where I nearly started screaming for him to get out of my room.
One point to make, it's not something he's pressuring me into - he always asks, checks, you know? Making sure he's not getting the wrong signals.
The problem is that, ungh. The last person I was with was, well, the love of my life - and also my first.
After a while, things changed and he didn't want to be with me anymore.
I was beyond hurt - it was like he was the one, and I know that term gets thrown around easily, but he was it. That if there was anyone I could fit so perfectly with, it was him. Nothing needed over-thinking, questioning - it was just natural, this insane feeling of being so complete, full of life and -- Well it's the one. One, not two, not three, not as many as you'd like. I can't seem to shake that feeling - He was the one and I don't get another one of those. Oh, I might fall in love again - but whoever it is will never be that perfect fit.
I didn't have problems like this with him ever - even on the first time, sure a little pain, but my body never changed it's mind.
So why is it doing now?
Is it just because of my feelings on the whole "he was the one" issue, or something else?
Any advice?
NOTE: if ur advic iz guna b typd lyk dis - then don't reply. Not trying to be rude to the people who do type like that, I just can' stand messages that are typed in English that needs to be translated into English.
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Sometimes we never really "get over" our first love, especially when everything worked so well together. My first love was the man i married and had 3 children together, he tookoff with another women after 11 years off marraige. I have never "fully" got him out of my system. He was the first kiss, the first sexual encounter, the first everything. It took me a long time to be able to get intimate with another man and every time i tried, i would have flashbacks. I would find myself comparing my new relationship to my ex husband. This wasn't right, that wasn't right, don't do it like that, do it like this, do it like he did it.
I just stopped wanting to see other men, well my mind wanted to but my heart stood in the way. Your just not ready hon, you have a broken heart.
Give yourself some time and maybe you will be able to love again, like before. If you can't shake this feeling, you may want to talk to a counselor.
I just stopped wanting to see other men, well my mind wanted to but my heart stood in the way. Your just not ready hon, you have a broken heart.
Give yourself some time and maybe you will be able to love again, like before. If you can't shake this feeling, you may want to talk to a counselor.
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