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I'm in a relationship of 2 years with the man who was once my best guy friend. At first it started off great, I must admit I was alittle hard on him due to the men that have run over me in the past. I really didn't see him as a boyfriend because of our previous friendship, but he basically worshiped the ground I walked on. I can say that for the first 9 months I didn't love him, but he expressed his love to me. Later on down the line I fell in love with him and the feelings were mutual. Then, I ended up cheating on him and I could not hold it in so I told him about the incident. Of course he was angry, but eventually he got over it and took me back. We worked things out, but he tore his ACL in his knee and had to have surgery. At first I was there helping him and just giving him the comfort that he needed in me. I really couldn't stand to see him like that(or at least that's the excuse I used to get away), but I went to my best friend's house to ease my mind and there I met this guy and we just kicked it at first. By my boyfriend being hurt I couldn't have sex, with him at least, which I so need every day and by me being attracted to this other guy we did it twice. That was last year in September and I still haven't told him. Since then I haven't cheated and things been pretty good besides the arguing. We constantly argue and I just don't know what to do. I really love him and I can't see myself being with someone else. Our communication skills are very low because I feel we are so much alike so we clash all the time and I feel we may be driving each other away. And by the way he doesn't trust me anymore so every time I go out it's a problem because he feels that I'm cheating. So as you can see we are far from perfect. What should I do? Should I tell him about the guy or what? and how can we get back to communicating and him trusting me?or should we just give up? why or why not Please give me some advice.

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Once trust is broken everything slowly falls apart. You did wrong by cheating the first time and he actually forgave you. And when he needed you to be by his side with support and love... All you could think about was how you needed sex instead of being a good girlfriend and being selfless you just thought about yourself. You don't cheat on someone you love. You may want to love him and like the idea of you two as a couple but I don't think you truly love him. You got a second chance and clearly didn't learn. You'd owed it him to show you were sorry for the first time and make up for it but you couldn't do that. You owe it him to come clean. If he doesn't trust you there's a reason why. Seems like you haven't given him good reason to trust you. Come clean think if you truly want this relationship and you want a relationship with him prove your remorse and that you love him show him you love him. Think about him more as he does with you . Have a serious talk about this and know you want to be together cause if you're not completely sure then you both will constantly be getting hurt and your relationship will not be a good one.j
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Hi Keke! Well I will give you advice but I can guarantee you wont like it!!

You do NOT love this man! The 1st time you cheated, you can say that "we weren't getting along, yada yada yada...it was a mistake and I'm sorry......." The 2nd time you already know that this will devestate him, and yet you STILL did it! You didn't love him enough that night to stop yourself, you just excused yourself! A torn ACL does NOT deserve a night of sex with another man/stranger!!

In this statement there are words that I will highlight for you so you can REALLY see what is going on! You mentioned that "By my boyfriend being hurt I couldn't have sex, with him at least, which I so need every day and by me being attracted to this other guy we did it twice. "

You cheated twice, for YOU and when there is only 1 that does NOT make love, not even at the least a friendship! For his piece of mind and any remaing manhood that has not been decimated by your 1st escapade, you should do the unselfish thing and leave! And DO NOT tell him why! Unless you truly do want to hurt him!

My husband cheated on me, I was devestated! And I have just told you what i told him! ONCE is a mistake of poor choices, TWO is a personal attack and get out!!!! So think of that before you drop a bombshell. Just walk away now, before more damage is done!

I hope you find another man, where you don't feel the need to NOT be in a loving equal partnership! And just be in a one sided deal - your side!!

Sorry it's a bit heavy, but it's true!
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Thank you so much bambi27 for the advice and you're right I didn't want to here that, but in my heart I know that it's the truth. Fact of the matter is I've been knowing that the whole time I just didn't want to admit it. I hate that it had to come to this, but it's life and I hope others learn from my selfishness. You know, the worst thing you can do to someone is to break their heart in to little bitty pieces and if anyone should know I know also because my heart has been broken in the past. It's crazy because is it just me or does it seems like the ones who love us, we tend to treat wrong and the ones that treat us like dirt we tend to love. But anyways what goes around comes around and I'm willing to deal with the consequences. Thanks again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I am sorry for being hard on you keke, but I KNOW that feeling of your life exploding! All your hopes and dreams being decimated, and feeling like you are not worthy! We are what we know and have learnt! When you had your heart broken, to cement it back up you HAD to create something different that wouldn't able you to be decimated like that again! It's NOT your real essence, it's just your way of dealing with the "What If's" Some people stay with partners - after cheating - due to the overwhelming guilt they feel. And also feeling that they SHOULD stay with them - because they didn't get the initial point of you cheating in the first place! You cheated the first time, with the hope that he would get the message, but he didn't! He wanted to work through this, and you couldn't say what needed to be said! Some people say that there is no such thing as mistakes, I'm on the fence about that! I think there are moments in time, where we forget who we are, and go with the moment! It isn't totally deliberate, but it's not innocent either! You acted with your body, instead of speaking from your heart! Thats all it is honey! You already knew you didn't love him, you just didn't know how to tell him, because he didn't walk away the first time! Our hearts are VERY powerful organs, more powerful that our brains, and we can't help how our hearts feel and make us act! That's where our brains come in - with their laws and rationale! We just have to learn to listen to both that's all! Good luck and all the best to you - follow your path, your heart REALLY wants you to go on, or it WILL make you!!!
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