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HI everyone,

Let me first describe the physical details Age -26, weight -160 lbs, height 5-10". Occasional drinking, no smoking. My problem is I get very little erection or no erection, when I am trying to have sex with my new girlfriend. We tried almost 10 -11 times now over the period of 3 months. I am not sure why this strange thing started happening. 2 years back from this instance I had healthy sexual relationship with my previous girlfriend and erection was at snap of finger. I never thought about erection or no erection at that time. Due to unfortunate reasons, I had to break off from her and had no sex for almost 2 years. Breaking off from her was very tough and also I had no job at that time. Things changed now and I was ready for sex with my new GF who is almost elder than me by 6 years. But at the first instance I was shocked with no erection when things got very hot and we were ready for sex. Gradually from there every time I decided to have penetrative sex BAMN no erection. I get weak to good erections when she hugs me or kisses me. But that particular moment of penetration .. I dont know what to say but something goes terribly wrong and I am ZERO. I thought it will improve after first few instances , but NO. She is quite demanding about S*x and sometimes she goes on to say how zero I am and I am feeling very embarrassed. I read all symptoms about Erectile dysfunction, but dont know whats wrong with me. I get morning woods almost everyday with strong erections and erection while masturbation I have no issues. These things again doubts me what happens at that precise moment of penetration. PLEASE HELP ME WITH any suggestions, treatments or comments. 

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Bad luck 286. Your problem is becoming psychological because you are expecting failure before you even start and that will, of course, make it worse. 

Don't be embarrassed about seeking medical help: tell your doctor exactly what  the problem is and he will recommend psychiatric help if he thinks it necessary. 

 

You could try viagra or similar to kick start the process?

 

You should honestly ask yourself whether the problem lies in lack of sufficient sexual attraction for your new partner. Do your erections work well when you masturbate and do you get aroused looking at other pretty ladies / internet etc?

 

With most women, sex is in the mind - it can be with men too!

 

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Thanks warmheart ! Well watching porn or while masturbation I have good erections which I can maintain for a good amount time. But when I am with her and moment our clothes are off ...... everything goes down. Is there any other way besides Viagra, coz I dont want to be on meds.
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I understand how you feel about meds, but if you think of them as a one-off cure, like an aspirin for a headache, once the headache's gone, no more aspirin. The more you worry about this the less chance you have of succeeding. If meds help then bingo you have cracked it. After a few times reduce the meds and finally get rid of them all together.

Otherwise - well make sure you are fit, stress-free, healthy, sober and have a good diet. Oral sex might work is she hasn't already tried that. Stop looking at porn. Or, as I said before, maybe she isn't sexually attractive for you. You might need to move on.
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Thanks Again warmheart !  Well I agree with you on meds if thats the way to move ahead. For oral sex, my new GF is totally against it and she is unhappy with that idea. She feels it is totally unnecessary for erection. As far as I am concerned, I love oral sex and part of the reason I had good sexual relationship with my previous GF was oral sex. With my previous GF, we used to engage in foreplay, she used to make me feel relaxed with oral sex and then move on for penetration. My previous GF was virgin , but I still managed to get through her. But with my new GF (she is divorced), it is like 10 mins on to bed and she wants penetration which I cannot. Thus, she gives up on me and whispers in my ears that something is wrong with me. Time after time I am more focused on erection when I get engaged with this new girl and DAMN, all in vain. I have to break to this cycle somehow !. Also about my diet I am very strict on eating, work out in GYM thrice a week . STRESS I dont know what I am surrounded with, but certainly nervousness and I foresee failure now with her every time. Thanks again warmheat, I appreciate your comments

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I am sorry to hear you are going through this. If you are getting morning erections and getting it up during kissing, etc. then there is nothing wrong with your erectile function. When I met my husband, he had a similar problem – not because of me, but because of his ex-wife. He would have erections, but lose them right at the last moment. After a few weeks, he started to trust me and lost his anxiety, and everything has been completely fine since then – in fact, he can’t seem to get enough. We also tried a penis health cream (Man1 Man Oil), and it has made his penis skin smooth, soft, and much more responsive than it used to be. Good luck to you – I really think your girlfriend is causing your performance anxiety – if she really cared about you, she would not treat you that way.

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oh my god the same thing happened to me when i was 14  at my first time and  is driving me crazy all my life ,,,the only time i have good sex re when i don t think about it or  i have to  try try try until when i m getting exited  ,,,get inside her very fast  to be able to keep up   i need help ,, what can i do to stop thinking about  my bad experience  and have sex anytime  i want to ,,,i just wanna be natural man ...help me please

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i have the same problem about erection. i had normal sex all my life and once when i was too drunk to have sex, have lost my erection during sex with one night girl. this bastard started to shout at me, that i should be embarased that 24 year old boy have lost erection, and since then i have problem because i think about it all the time. i can not get it up with my new girlfriend and my problem is getting more and more serious, i don't know really what to do and i am afraid that i will lose her ((
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I had the exact same problem! I am also 26. I also took 2 years off after a healthy relationship and I too had performance anxiety when I tried to have sex with my fiance. Here is how i solved the issue.

1) Stop watching porn: You get used to your hand and set unrealistic expectations for yourself and your partner.
2) Eat healthy, workout, and SLEEP WELL!!
3) Explain to your partner to stop telling you how much you such. Assure her that you love her and that it's not her. The last thing you want to do is to stop enjoying yourself while having sex because you are only trying to prove something to her. If she doesn't understand, give yourself a period of time to recover without trying to have sex with her at all. Believe me, I went through it.
4) Seek medical attention. Many areas around your genital area could be weak or inflamed. A prostate infection, for instance, could last years without any pain and with only minimal occasional discomfort. PI tends to pressure your penis when erected and will kill your errection within mins.

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