Hi there like all of you I am also having this awful promble! It is very hard. My son is 9 months old and by now i thought the pain would fade by itself, i thought maybe it was just my body trying to recover as i hade a very quick and full on labour of just 4 hours.
My partner is supportive but get the feeling i am over reacting and it is an excuse to get out of having sex with him. Its very frustrating and is taking a toll on our realationship. It's hard to watch him getting dissapointed all the time, what i would kill to have our old sex live back! I have been to two different doctors and have been sent to two scan and ultrasound appointments, there toughts were that I had a stomach ulcer or a gall bladder stone, I anm 21 and new this was not the case. Like someone who previously left there concerns it is a hard pain to explain, for me deep pentration herts the most mainly in my lower stomach to my side alomost were you would expect your appendix to be, it's like a very painful stabbing pain it often makes me cry, It feels like with deeper penetration my partner is hitting something inside of me and with more and more friction it aggetates it more. Girls it's not like we're a pack of babies i mean c'mon we have all been though child birth i think we know how to handle pain right but this is just getting annoying now!!! It does feel like all my insides sit alot lower and everything is just so much more sensetive i;m young im NOT meant to feel so fragile!!!
My partner is supportive but get the feeling i am over reacting and it is an excuse to get out of having sex with him. Its very frustrating and is taking a toll on our realationship. It's hard to watch him getting dissapointed all the time, what i would kill to have our old sex live back! I have been to two different doctors and have been sent to two scan and ultrasound appointments, there toughts were that I had a stomach ulcer or a gall bladder stone, I anm 21 and new this was not the case. Like someone who previously left there concerns it is a hard pain to explain, for me deep pentration herts the most mainly in my lower stomach to my side alomost were you would expect your appendix to be, it's like a very painful stabbing pain it often makes me cry, It feels like with deeper penetration my partner is hitting something inside of me and with more and more friction it aggetates it more. Girls it's not like we're a pack of babies i mean c'mon we have all been though child birth i think we know how to handle pain right but this is just getting annoying now!!! It does feel like all my insides sit alot lower and everything is just so much more sensetive i;m young im NOT meant to feel so fragile!!!
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In relpy to Shann......Before I gave birth sex felt word for word how you described it. I have endometriosis though. I had laparoscopic surgery for is which did no make the endometriosis go away, but did make the pain in my lower abdomen go away. sex after the surgery was great.
But, now that my husband and I have a son who is 13 1/3 mths old, sex has become horrible. The pain in not in my lower abdomen, but just in side me when we try to have sex. It's only as my husband tries to enter is when the pain is so very painful. After we finealy get past that, sex is wonderful, but that is with such bad pain for 5-10 maybe 15 minutes of tring to get him in. I went to the doctor last week and she has no idea what is wrong. She guesses maybe scar tissue, but has no idea. I am only 24 and cannot believe this has happened. I gave birth to a 9 pound baby, who was faced up with his arm up to his face. I did have the worst possible episiotomy that you could have (said by the docor who delivered my son). I go back to the doctor this tuesday, but by the sound of everyone else's luck with their doctors on here I am not hoping for much luck either. I thought I was alone, and feel by body is messed up forever. I have a very very understanding husband which I am very blessed with. I found this website the other nite, has anyone tried this? I am wondering will it help me and am wanting to do something. I don't want another year to pass with me still feeling this way. www.vaginismus.com
But, now that my husband and I have a son who is 13 1/3 mths old, sex has become horrible. The pain in not in my lower abdomen, but just in side me when we try to have sex. It's only as my husband tries to enter is when the pain is so very painful. After we finealy get past that, sex is wonderful, but that is with such bad pain for 5-10 maybe 15 minutes of tring to get him in. I went to the doctor last week and she has no idea what is wrong. She guesses maybe scar tissue, but has no idea. I am only 24 and cannot believe this has happened. I gave birth to a 9 pound baby, who was faced up with his arm up to his face. I did have the worst possible episiotomy that you could have (said by the docor who delivered my son). I go back to the doctor this tuesday, but by the sound of everyone else's luck with their doctors on here I am not hoping for much luck either. I thought I was alone, and feel by body is messed up forever. I have a very very understanding husband which I am very blessed with. I found this website the other nite, has anyone tried this? I am wondering will it help me and am wanting to do something. I don't want another year to pass with me still feeling this way. www.vaginismus.com
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To TW8407,
I had an 8lb 6oz baby face up as well...and a new resident stitched me up afterward with the direction of a doctor from my obgyn practice. At my annual appt 1 yr after my six week follow up I talked to my obgyn about the pain. Luckily I have a great doctor the best doctor in any field I have ever been to. I was embarrassed and nervous at first to talk about it especially with the nurse standing there and my son in my lap. I don't think I was forth coming enough in my description at first about how bad it really was. He listened to what I said and told me about 2 options.
First was to try an estrogen cream to desensitize the area and toughin up the skin (but the package says it's for menopausal women experiencing dryness and that is not my problem). He said the creame may or may not work (fully or at all). The 2nd option is surgery. He recommended trying the cream for 6 weeks, schedule a six week follow up and see where things were. I went with the 1st option based on his recommendation took the free samples home and read the instructions. Hell no I was not using it. I was still breastfeeding and didn't want it to get in my milk supply since it said estrogen is not good for breastfeeding mothers. Also you have to use an injector to squirt it inside you and wait days to have intercourse etc. Plus it sounded like it came with a laundry list of side effects...plus if you might get pregnant you should not take estrogen.
At my 6 week follow up I flat out told my doctor that I didn't use the cream and why. I also said that I thought I wasn't as clear as to how bad the pain really was..and that basically we couldn't have sex it was so painful. He told me that since 16 months had past since my delivery that it should have gotten better...he said you waited...and the waiting didn't work so we discussed the surgery. I had previously had only 1 child, vaginal delivery, no episotomy. I did tear and it was a bad one....I don't know how many stiches but it took forever for them to finish sewing me up. The surgery was described as anestesia by IV for just under 30 mins, and diamond incesion to remove the problem area. I had a red inflamed looking area along my scar that was incredible painful to touch even by a doctor with a q tip and lube during routine visits. The diamond cuts give straight edges to sew you back up. I had the surgery almost 2 weeks ago and have my follow up this thursday.
As for the surgery, the anestesia gave me nausea that lasted 12 hours...no vomitting but it was terrible. The pain after the surgery was no where near as painful as recovering from the initial post baby stuff. I didn't even take tylenol after the surgery...just ice packs and lots of rest and avoiding uncomfortable sitting/standing/stooping postions. I did have a slight issue where about 7 days into the surgery I started to have pain on my right side down there....I looked down there and saw something that looked like an ulcer that was being stabbed by my suetures. I called my doctor and he saw me the following day, removed the irritant and prescribed a mild anti-biotic just in case to prevent any infection. 10 days after surgery I felt pretty much like myself with mild discomfort squatting to things like putting shoes on my little one.
My big recommendation would be to completly upfront about the level of discomfort and that you've tried lubes, and postions etc and it isn't helping. I was able to have the surgery at a surgery center related to my practice so it was in and out (but you have to have someone drive you because the anestisia etc). It saved the hassle and time of going to a big hospital...but either is fine as long as you are comfortable with the facility.
Good luck with your dr appt and I hope they are receptive to you...if not ask around and find a good doctor that is a good person and treats you like they would there own loved one.
I had an 8lb 6oz baby face up as well...and a new resident stitched me up afterward with the direction of a doctor from my obgyn practice. At my annual appt 1 yr after my six week follow up I talked to my obgyn about the pain. Luckily I have a great doctor the best doctor in any field I have ever been to. I was embarrassed and nervous at first to talk about it especially with the nurse standing there and my son in my lap. I don't think I was forth coming enough in my description at first about how bad it really was. He listened to what I said and told me about 2 options.
First was to try an estrogen cream to desensitize the area and toughin up the skin (but the package says it's for menopausal women experiencing dryness and that is not my problem). He said the creame may or may not work (fully or at all). The 2nd option is surgery. He recommended trying the cream for 6 weeks, schedule a six week follow up and see where things were. I went with the 1st option based on his recommendation took the free samples home and read the instructions. Hell no I was not using it. I was still breastfeeding and didn't want it to get in my milk supply since it said estrogen is not good for breastfeeding mothers. Also you have to use an injector to squirt it inside you and wait days to have intercourse etc. Plus it sounded like it came with a laundry list of side effects...plus if you might get pregnant you should not take estrogen.
At my 6 week follow up I flat out told my doctor that I didn't use the cream and why. I also said that I thought I wasn't as clear as to how bad the pain really was..and that basically we couldn't have sex it was so painful. He told me that since 16 months had past since my delivery that it should have gotten better...he said you waited...and the waiting didn't work so we discussed the surgery. I had previously had only 1 child, vaginal delivery, no episotomy. I did tear and it was a bad one....I don't know how many stiches but it took forever for them to finish sewing me up. The surgery was described as anestesia by IV for just under 30 mins, and diamond incesion to remove the problem area. I had a red inflamed looking area along my scar that was incredible painful to touch even by a doctor with a q tip and lube during routine visits. The diamond cuts give straight edges to sew you back up. I had the surgery almost 2 weeks ago and have my follow up this thursday.
As for the surgery, the anestesia gave me nausea that lasted 12 hours...no vomitting but it was terrible. The pain after the surgery was no where near as painful as recovering from the initial post baby stuff. I didn't even take tylenol after the surgery...just ice packs and lots of rest and avoiding uncomfortable sitting/standing/stooping postions. I did have a slight issue where about 7 days into the surgery I started to have pain on my right side down there....I looked down there and saw something that looked like an ulcer that was being stabbed by my suetures. I called my doctor and he saw me the following day, removed the irritant and prescribed a mild anti-biotic just in case to prevent any infection. 10 days after surgery I felt pretty much like myself with mild discomfort squatting to things like putting shoes on my little one.
My big recommendation would be to completly upfront about the level of discomfort and that you've tried lubes, and postions etc and it isn't helping. I was able to have the surgery at a surgery center related to my practice so it was in and out (but you have to have someone drive you because the anestisia etc). It saved the hassle and time of going to a big hospital...but either is fine as long as you are comfortable with the facility.
Good luck with your dr appt and I hope they are receptive to you...if not ask around and find a good doctor that is a good person and treats you like they would there own loved one.
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hi i have the same problem every time i have sex it hurts and i feel like i am really boney down in between. my bf hates it but eventually after a lil slow penetration it goes away i feel like my pelvic is f***ed up i didnt do pelvic exercises. i also don't no what is wrong
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I have been having the same problem, i had to push for 4 1/2 hours. My laborr was not had and i think i would of had him in 5 min. the nurses told me from the start i was pushing great. His ambillical cord was very short and everytime me would come down we would see his head and as soon as i stopped pushing he would slide back up. ? :-( did anyone else have to push for that long. I was so swollen. I ripped inside and out and above also. I dont think it is healthy to push for that long. I did some research and i found that it is suppose to go away after a year and to use a water based lub. but i think im going to talk to my doc becasue i have so much pain.
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Hi i seem to be having a similar problem i had my baby over 10 months ago and i am never in the mood to have sex. when i do have sex with my partner i am always in pain like i am tight and hard inside but eventually the pain goes away and sex is normal. i feel really bad coz it is putting me off having sex and my partner is used to alot of sex. i am on my 2nd pregnancy and i am worried i might not be able to give birth naturally coz i am tight below
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Hi all, I now have a 6 year old and i still find that sex can be painful and that after having sex it can take a few days before i feel comfortable doing anything. I myself only feel the pain in the place they stitched me up. I have come to the conclusion that it is scar tissue, and that i have been closed up a little tighter then i was before my son came along.
A few things i have found that help me is that if i get extreamly lubricated it helps, but it has to be my own bodies responses it cant be lube bought from a shop, and i have also found that sometimes if i change the possition in which we have sex so that we are not continuously rubbing the same place over and over it helps.
A few things i have found that help me is that if i get extreamly lubricated it helps, but it has to be my own bodies responses it cant be lube bought from a shop, and i have also found that sometimes if i change the possition in which we have sex so that we are not continuously rubbing the same place over and over it helps.
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Hi there
It is good to read that i am not alone. I had my son 5 months ago and at 3 months it was till very painful to have sex so i went to my doctor and he found out that i had granulomas along my scar tissue which was causing so much pain. I had to have an operation to have them removed, go fully under and get cut again all the granulomas removed and stiched up again, so at 5 months i feel i am repairing all over again, i feel so down about it as it has been so long sicne my son was born and i still can have sex with my husband. They said that i was sewn up wrong.
It is so frustrating as i feel i am never going to heal. Now i feel it still isnt right. next time C-section for me.
Dont feel shy to go to the doctor, the sooner the better and the quicker you can get back to normal.
It is good to read that i am not alone. I had my son 5 months ago and at 3 months it was till very painful to have sex so i went to my doctor and he found out that i had granulomas along my scar tissue which was causing so much pain. I had to have an operation to have them removed, go fully under and get cut again all the granulomas removed and stiched up again, so at 5 months i feel i am repairing all over again, i feel so down about it as it has been so long sicne my son was born and i still can have sex with my husband. They said that i was sewn up wrong.
It is so frustrating as i feel i am never going to heal. Now i feel it still isnt right. next time C-section for me.
Dont feel shy to go to the doctor, the sooner the better and the quicker you can get back to normal.
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hi ladies. sorry you are all going thru this. i found a site that might be helpful for all of you. it describes a condition in which you body associates any vaginal contact with pain and causes your muscles to contract painfully. It describes a technique to perform yourself until you get your body to respond in a positive way then when your spouse joins. It is called , then go to the q&a page and on left hand side click on pain during intercourse #1. Hope this helps you ladies out.
***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
***edited by moderator*** web addresses not allowed
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Wow... you explained my problem to the T! I am dealing with the exact same thing... my son is 6 months old as well...and sex is horribly painful. I dont know about you but i cant even wear a tampon anymore. I myself am too scared to go to the doctors and was hoping it would go away. But im not sure it will. If you and anyone else has any ideas please let me know. I am very happy to know i am not alone!
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Similar troubles here... used to love having sex too, and my husband is a fiend. He is very patient and understanding and I really want things to get back to normal. But... it hurts :-( I let him anyway, to the point that I bled! Went to the doc and found ou that I have BV. Took meds for a week to clear it up (had to pour out all my pumped milk during that time). It's now one week later, but it still hurts. Don't know what to do... husband frustrated... I am frustrated. I suppose another doctor visit will be in order soon. I haven't gotten my period back yet and thought maybe that has something to do with it?
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Hi - my daughter is 7 mos yesterday and I am having the same challenge! My OB/GYN prescribed a cream containing estrogen after 2 months of giving birth and that only irritated things more. I went to my holistic doctor and she explained it's because my hormones are not balanced. After birth, estrogen is needed to rebuild the vaginal walls. If that doesn't occur, then sex can be very painful. For me, it feels like raw skin being touched when we've tried to have sex. I have a very understanding and patient husband but its frustrating for both of us. My holistic doc is helping me balance my hormones and will check my thyroid next visit. From my understanding, it plays a big role in hormone regulation. The body was created to self heal so I am sure with help (and faith in God's word) things will get back to normal. I'll keep you posted! Hope this helps someone to start asking different questions. It might be a hormonal issue like me.
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I am having the same problem after having my second baby. Our first is almost five and our second is six and a half months and we haven't been able to have sex since she was born. The last time we tried, last week, I actually bled.
It's causing alot of stress between my husband and I.
Glad to find out it's not just me but also a little worried that no one seems to know how to fix it.
Have seen my doctor but she just ran STD tests which all came back clear (duh I'm married). Might have to make another appointment with my doctor.
It's causing alot of stress between my husband and I.
Glad to find out it's not just me but also a little worried that no one seems to know how to fix it.
Have seen my doctor but she just ran STD tests which all came back clear (duh I'm married). Might have to make another appointment with my doctor.
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I also had a C-section two years ago and have a lot of issues with painful intercourse. It especially hurts once my husband ejaculates. Only thing the doctor could tell me was to use a numbing agent, which helped a little, but it kind of kills the romance.
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