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Hi there,

My wife and I just had our son 3 months ago. Perfect Vaginal birth with some very minor tearing. Our doctor stiched her back together and all was well. Or so we thought. In the last few weeks we have tried to have intercourse again but with no luck.

It seems that when shes ready, her vagina has lost the ability to stretch, albeit this is a great ego boost for my manhood but, totally unsatisfying for either of us. In addition her vagina is really sensitive to touch. After a few times of trying, our sexlife has been reduced to nothing but occassional touching. Ultimately we would love to have more children.

Does anyone have an idea what this may be?

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Hi there! Congrats on the new baby! I have had 2 and it took us a while to get back into the swing of things too. We found that after the first, the vaginal just can't keep up with the demands for lubrication like it could before. (If she is breast feeding, that could also be hindering the lubrication too) It was also painful the first 6-7 times but I think that it was more me being afraid that it was going to hurt and making my husband stop. We found that we were better off to take our time and easy back into it all together. Give your wife some credit...she did just push out something the size of a watermelon thru something the size of a tennis ball. You will get back into sex, but it will take some time...and take it from me. We have two kids and we have more sex now than before they came along! (not to mention, it is 50% better!)
Good Luck!
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Me too. 3 months apres birth, and my wife expereriences pain trying to have sex.

Yes, I give her her due, she pushed out the bowling ball. She'd love to have sex too, but when we try, its quite painful for her. We've waited 6 weeks ... times two. And no improvement. It is quite discouraging.

Most of the online literature says, that after 6 weeks, it should be hunky dorey and everyone happy. Well, not the case for us. And it's not lubrication - we tried to fix that, but no help there. It is something else. She had minor tearing, and to her, it feels almost as though some parts of the skin are folded over, and not sewn back together. Doesn't meant that that is what happened, but that is how it 'feels' to her.

Not pleasant.

Well, I guess it is another week of cold showers, maybe two, before we try again. At some point, I think we will likely go see a doctor, and see if they will have any solution.
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Your wife will still be in considerable pain after 6 weeks! I know because our son is turning 4 months old and we are just now starting to have limited sex. It is still very painful and I bleed quite a bit afterward. Give her some time, be patient and be prepared for it to be a slow go. I know it sucks, believe me she's probably gunning for it as well, but she's been through a lot.
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baby is 13 and a half months now, and we might have had sex 5 times, maybe 6. most have something to do with hormones, or motherhood, i dunno. I try to initiate intercourse, but to no avail! I guess i will keep taking matters into my own hands! hopefully at some point intercourse will return!
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Hi everyone,
My baby is 6 1/2 months old and I am also experiencing pain during intercourse and while trying to insert a tampon. I was able to find the info below that I cut and pasted from another website. Hope it helps. Good luck to everyone.

Painful Sex After Childbirth

by Marjorie Greenfield, M.D.
reviewed by Marjorie Greenfield, M.D.
While some couples return to full sexual activities four to six weeks after childbirth without incident, many women note vaginal pain when intercourse is first attempted, and some experience pain or discomfort for as long as a year after the birth of their baby. It may be cold comfort to the new moms who find sex to be painful, but at least one study of sex after childbirth found that the pain always went away by the baby's first birthday. Pain is most common after the first or second child and can occur following vaginal birth or a cesarean.

What causes the pain?
Four factors are known to contribute to painful sex (dyspareunia):

Hormonal changes. Loss of the female hormone estrogen, which occurs temporarily in all women after giving birth, can cause the vaginal tissues to become thin and somewhat raw. This can lead to a burning sensation during or after sexual intercourse. Breastfeeding moms, in particular, can have low estrogen levels for months after the baby is born.

Lack of lubrication. When estrogen levels are normal, sexual arousal leads to secretion of a lubricating liquid from the walls of the vagina; when they're low, less lubrication can lead to chafing and irritation. In addition, many women find their sex drive and arousal response to be diminished after having a baby, although it isn't clear whether this is due to exhaustion or hormonal changes.

Episiotomy or laceration. Sometimes the site of an episiotomy or laceration remains tender for many weeks.

Vaginismus. Spasms of the muscles around the opening of the vagina, called vaginismus, can occur as a painful reflex when penetration is attempted. Sometimes this condition develops as an unconscious reflex when the body expects pain and eventually becomes a self-perpetuating cycle of pain and spasm. Any cause of dyspareunia can lead to vaginismus.
What can I do if I'm having pain?
Communicate with your partner. To make sex the pleasure for you that it once was, the two of you will need to work together.
Take it slow. Tolerating pain will not make it go away and can lead to vaginismus.

Try a water-based lubricant, which you can buy off the shelf at your local drugstore.

If the pain persists, talk to your practitioner. She might be able to recommend another approach that would be effective in your case.

Try to keep the big picture in mind. Your body has accomplished an amazing feat--producing a whole little human--and it can take quite a while to get back to normal.
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Yes, Men I know your problem. My wife had our son 8 weeks ago and we have attempted twice to have sex. This was horrific for my wife because she hurt every repetition. I love her and can't stand the pain she is going through. Times are tough. I would like to know if this will get better and what affect it has on the relationship.
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Hello,

We are now 3 months out on baby number two and have had sex exactly three times. My poor husband is really feeling neglected. I have to say that after our first child, sex was slightly painful the first few times, but improved each time until it was back to normal. This time, it has been much more painful and doesn't seem to be improving as quickly. I have asked several other moms and all seem to have experienced the same or similar problems. I think it just takes time and patience. I don't want to get into too much detail, but for us, starting out very slow and beginning with manual stimulation, gradually increasing pressure and size before actual penile penetration really helped a lot - and of course plenty of lubrication. It's really too bad that this happens so regularly to people after everything we go through during pregnancy and birth! It can really add to the stress of having a new baby. Best wishes.
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ITS BEEN OVER 8 MONTHS SINCE WE HAD TWINS AND EVER SINCE THE BIRTH OUR SEX LIFE IS NON-EXISTANT SHE'S SO UNCOMFORTABLE THAT I CANT DO ANYTHING ITS VERY FRUSTRATING ANY GOOD ADVICE,HELP,TIPS,EXPLANATION,ETC?
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It's been 1 year for me and my wife is still having pain... seems more frequent we have sex about 2 times a month with pain almost everytime. We're starting to worry abit.
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This has gone on for 17 months after the birth of my son, I've had 2 surgeries and the pain is still there. People say it is all in my head, but it ISN'T! I practise yoga breathing during sex, I relax myself almost to the point of hypnosis and to no avail. I feel so terrible, this is ruining my self confidence and my relationship. My husband has just given up on me, I fear that I have given up on myself. I'm so desperate...I can't help but feel some resentment to my doctors, or resident doctors who sewed me up after birth. I had only 2 stitches...how can this be. I was told this could be anything from an allergy to the stitches to something just made up in my head. But maybe something went wrong with the way I was treated in the hospital after birth...if so, not likely anyone would ever admit to it!! I feel so alone on this!!!!!
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wow! I'm glad to have read all these comments. I was beggining to worry that something was wrong with me and was thinking that the doctor did something wrong. I have a 3 month old and I've been going throught the same thing, painful intercorse. Thanks so much for the info.
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oral sex is a option.
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Thank you for all this talk, I feel a bit better! I had my daughter 5 months ago as a breech delivery. I wasn't informed much about my tearing other than I was getting one continuous stitch. My husband and I are struggling to have sex as this area can hurt. Its not like a burning or rubbing, it pinches and nips. It makes me tense which I know wont help. But also to this, I often get a sore area on the front wall of my vagina and also had a nipping pain on my cervix. I dont know if these were other tears? I cant find much info on this. Also (sorry if this is too much detail) if I climax I get a horrible sharp pain and my husband has to withdraw imediatly. I'm stuck on whether we should ride it out (no pun intended) or go to the Dr.
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well lets see my sons about to be 2 yrs old and i hate having sex now because it hurts so bad still!!!! it almost feels like a burning, and when its deep it feels like a knife to my utaris! my boyfriend cant understand why i dont like having sex anymore. but like all the rest of you at least i know im not alone. i use to love sex i had no problem in that department and now im afriad of it. i dread everytime he wants to. just cuz i know how bad it hurts. is there anything out there that can help fix this problem???? i would love to know. its funny now i see how many ladies are going through this me and my sister in law thought we were wierd or something
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