Recognising the consistent pattern in bi polars

Well, i have bi polar and my bf cant find the pattern in my mood either, and neither can i tbh. My moods just change if someone says something and sometimes just for no apparent reason. Me and my bf just try and talk out my moods and he tries to understand why it happens at certain times, it may help if you do that if you don't already. 

Very grateful for your reply!!I think my gf just finds it so intense instead of trying to explain it to me she finds it easier to break up.I don judge her either though its a tough situation.Do you manage to stay with your bf or do you break it off aswell.An awful lot of bp people seem to temporarily break it off.

No, me and my bf stay together because i know he is the best thing that helps me, even tho i do shout at him when i'm angry :s. He does understand that i cant help it and that i don't mean a word of it. I know it is a very tough situation, but if you to are supposed to be together you will be. And keep in mind that she isn't getting angry at you personally, she is most likely getting angry at life.

Hey Jimbob,

 

I don't know where you heard/read that bi-polar was predictable, because it's actually quite the opposite- hence the name, bi-polar meaning two extreme opposites. If you think of mood as on a scale of 10- 1 meaning suicidal, 5 meaning a functioning neutral mood, 10 meaning deliriously happy. Those without a mood disorder will only dip to under about 4 when the situation warrants it- i.e; death of a loved one, serious debt problems, serious illness of a loved or self, death of a pet (for examples)- and will only go above about 8 when the situation warrants it- i.e; win the lottery, birth of a child, dream career obtained, winning a TV show (for example). On a day to day basis, those without a mood disorder are around 5-6.

With a mood disorder, such as bi-polar, the scale can fluctuate from 1-10 without the situation warranting it.

This can be heightened and/or antagonised with delusions, hallucinations (auiditory & visual) and paranoia.

Thus, the illness itself is very unpredictable, yet triggers can be somewhat predicted, but this can take years of a sufferer making notes & making observations on their own episodes & extreme mood changes. This can made difficult by the fact that when someone with bi-polar is going through an episode, they don't neccessarily understand their own thought patterns & behaviours.

 

One of my particularly bad episodes ended with me in my underwear waiting for some random man to pick me up. I'd met him in a nightclub the week before & called him telling him I was replacing a member of a well-known girl group. Luckily, my mother intervened & I ended up with something shot in my be-hind.  I wasn't drunk nor on drugs- at the time I was also counting knives (I was paranoid about them being taken by a burglar).

I was diagnosed with bi-polar soon after this, but this wasn't my end diagnosis. Severn years later, I was diagnosed with schizoid- avoidant personality disorder; however, characteristics of my mental health illness changed and I agree with my final diagnosis. Schizoid-avoidant personality disorder, borderline personality disorder & schizoptypal personality disorder can all show characteristics synonomous with bi-polar. Yet where a doctor will instantly medicate for bi-polar, personality disorders don't react to medication in the way that someone with bi-polar would. Additionally, someone who has a personality disorder is more aware of their episodes than a bi-polar sufferer. While I was usually aware of what I was doing, I felt as if I couldn't stop it from happening.

 

At the time though, I showed all the signs for bi-polar, but the medication numbed me out. I would sleep lots and not feel anything in my waking hours. I still display signs of (unmedicated) bi-polar; my moods fluctuate very frequently, I can get hyper-active to the point of insomnia for days on end, I'm very creative (which is associated with bi-polar & other mental health problems- look this up!) and can have my 'reckless moments' (which are now tamed and more likely to be throwing myself down a hill on my bike, rather than sleeping with strangers as it was in the past!).

I don't take medication, as it's useless.

 

The best help I got was CBT- cognitive behavioural therapy. Has your girlfriend tried this?

Whether she has bi-polar or a personality disorder- CBT will help her immensely. It works with changing the thoughts associated with negative feelings and behaviour. Its about mood management and understanding triggers to extreme negative/positive emotions and observing our behaviour towards the triggers. It also encourages planning strategies, to prevent low mood plunges.

 

A relationship with someone with bi-polar is going to be difficult, yet no relationship or person is perfect. You really love her by the sounds of it- the best of luck to you both.

 

V