I have had bi-polar for about 10 years now and I met a lovely man last April who I have been seeing ever since. However, my mood has been declining lately and I can see that it is taking its toll on my boyfriend. He has difficulty understanding why my mood swings so much and to such extremes. I have talked to him about it, given him print outs to read and books but he still seems unable or unwilling to understand.
I read several discussions here between people dating people with bi-polar, hoping for some advice on how to increase my boyfriends understanding but all I read were people who seem to hate their partners because they cannot control their moods.
I put so much effort into behaving as normally as possible. I take my meds, eat regular meals, get exercise, sleep regularly etc. But it does not matter what I do I still have and always will have mood swings. All I can do is try and make sure I do not make them worse than they need to be.
Can anyone give me any advice on how I can help him? One of the worst parts is that when I am "distant" (his word) he thinks it is something he has done and no matter what I say I cannot seem to convince him otherwise.
It seems like you have gone to a fair amount of effort to help him understand.
I can not give you much further advice but I will say I was in a relationship for 3 years with a girl who had bi-polar and what made me understand her was:
-She would sit me down in a quiet place where I am not distracted and will listen to her.
-Discussions about her past to help me understand her reasoning for bi-polar.
-Explained to me what it is and why its there.
This may not help but those ways helped me understand her more and apart from that I really cared so to be understanding was just a trait someone will have if they care.
That makes me feel better. The other posts were making me feeling as if all was lost.
Thanks, I will carry on trying as I do want to make it work with him.