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Just found out today at 46 yrs old by my mother that my grandfather, (her father) had severe anxiety attacks and panic attacks to where he would pass out.  He eventually couldn't work and was on disability.  I never knew this.   Since 1999. I  could not drive on Interstate.  Thats how it affected me.   My head would spin and I felt like I was losing consciousness. I felt like I was going to pass out after my hands sweated so bad they were slipping off the steering wheel.   No interstate for 15 yrs.   Anxiety was in every other part of my life as well.  I drank to de-stress my self.   I ended up having an alcohol problem as my grandfather did as well.  I have been hospitalized twice in last two months for depression and suicide attempt.   I just started menopause I guess  Hormonal imbalance may contribute so they say.   Anyway,   I haven't been drinking for a few months and risperidol has decreased my anxiety and I have actually driven on the interstate recently.   It seems like such a vicious cycle.t  I have been a  RN for 17 years, self medicating with alcohol.  I seem to be the best in 15 yrs now!!!.  Although my boyfriend thinks Im crazy.   I have ADD as well.  Crazy huh?  I have always lived this way.   Seems normal to me!!  I managed to get BSN in Nursing and I am a good nurse but I seem to be very forgetful.  Willl life ever be normal and will anyone just accept me for me?     

 

 

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This is what life is and it will be normal as soon as you will realize it that it is normal.... :))

and in this crazy world, there would be someone who would accept you....

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