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This past five days have been hell. Tuesday night I had a flash of memory from my childhood when I was abused by my brother. In 2003 when all of his victims came out and talked about what happened (charges had been filed by one) I went and saw a psychologist to talk about it. I was put on Zoloft for the anxiety and things got better.

The problem with what happened last week is that is triggered a whole new realm of anxiety. My daughter is now that age that I started being abused and with her starting Kindergarten this fall, being at a new school where I do not know the teachers and staff yet, it brought on panic attacks and high anxiety that something was going to happen to her like it did me. It got to the point that I was running out of the house to get some air in the backyard, crying at everything, no concentration, heart pounding and palpitations, diahrrea, etc.. Just pure hell. I tried talking myself down and even mediatated and tried guided meditation. Sleeping was horrible. I could sleep and I've lost 5 lbs. due to lack of appitite.

My husband was out of town on a business trip and came home on Saturday. I told him I needed to see someone because I was having panic attacks and he witness me having one and having to go outside. He remembered I had 1 Ativan left over from our last plane flight so he told me to take it yesterday. It worked. Took the edge off and I was able to function normally.

I'm seeing a doctor today about it. I was put on Paxil back in 2005 when my daughter was one years old due to anxiety but in late 2006 weaned myself off thinking I didn't need it anymore. I think I need to stay on something constant because obviously I'm prone to anxiety and I sure as hell do not want to have anymore panic attacks. That was extremely scary.

I'm not sure why I'm posting about this but it makes me feel better. And it makes me infuriated that what happened to me as a child is still effecting me as an adult. I'm thinking I might have to talk to someone again about it on a regular basis to work thru is more.


dragonflymama, I am totally hugging you online right now! I am so sorry that you went through all of that and that now you're having some flashes of it. I know it sucks, and I'm sorry that it's coming back. I have a GOOD resource for you though. It helped me through GAD and it can help you too as a supplement to seeing someone and taking Paxil as well. Google "panic cure" and I think it is the first hit, but it has a LOT of good information and can help you. Of course, post here too and let us know how ou're doing. YOu are NOT alone and you're not unusual or going through anything you can't get through. You are gonna make it through this. Let me know how it's going okay?


Just noticed typos in my original post. Typos drive me nuts! But I was having a difficult time when I typed that out.

Thank you for your post! I haven't done the google search yet but plan to do that soon.

Ok, so I am on Zoloft now. I was on Zoloft years ago for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and I responded well to it. The fact that I'm taking it and have Ativan on stand-by for a panic attack have really helped me to feel a bit more together. I also have a referral for a therapist.

I'll be glad when this constant anxiety is no longer surging thru my body all day long. I'm ready to feel like me again.


Hello and welcome to the house dragonflymama...

My name is Gilbert and Im from Malta . Im 30 years old and lately i was suffering from some panic attacks , anxiety and depression. I know how it feels man . I can understand you. Its sucks and its pure hell when u have a panic attack:(((

As far as I can understand you're passing from a post traumatic stress its called . Its a traumatic event that happened to you when you where a young boy and now it is affecting you in adulthood. The (good thing) is that u understand and realise that these panic attacks are all the root from the trauma you have experienced as a boy..

Some people with panic attacks and high anxieties cannot accecpt or they dont know that these symptoms are just psychological symptoms and are coming from bad memories from the past but most of the people thinks that they have something wrong with their health like for example difficult breathing and pain in chest= they think that the are having a heart attacks infact its only anxiety. Try to join a cbt group and talk with a psycholigist about everything you experience and she/he can helps you a lot to deal with these attacks.

I wish you and your family good luck and keep up posting. Here we are a big family and really when I post I find very good response from many people and they make me feel better...

Take care man and cu goodbye

Gil From Malta