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Hi,im 13 years old and my grandma died ooh about 4 years ago fomr lung cancer..and me and her were really close i coudlent stop crying so i went to go to my dads house,when i got back..i find out my aunt died in a car wreck..26 days AFTER my grandma..her friends were drunk and they had a wreck..each day i have to see the one who was driving's daughter day after day at school..and im still depressed i think of them and ever since,nothign good has ever happened to me and when somethign dose,there is something wrong with it..any ideas of how i could cope with it all? because iv'e been makeing dates to kill myself or not and i cant seem to get through it cause somethign ok happens and i get hope,so i dont kill myself..well then something bad happens and i think i am..and it repats..ok please help me..and the title,i had to make it somethign that would work so dont say the title lies cause it kinda dont.

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Health Ace
6517 posts
hey cory,

first off, I am so sorry to hear about your aunt and grandmother. what horrible things to have happen so close to each other.

i know how it feels to loose someone so close and it is never easy. PLEASE dont even thing about suicide!!!!! there are too many good things in life to be thankful for. like your family and friends to start with. in a way, suicide is a cowards way out because, while they may not have to deal with the pain anymore think of the family and friends that will have to day in and day out. someone said once that suicide is a PERMANATE solution to a TEMPORARY problem. no problems last forever and there are ways to cope. crying is one of the and thats perfectly ok to do. have you ever gotten any counsoling after your grandam's and aunt's deaths? or talked to anyone at all? also realize that everyone makes mistakes and while it is hard to forgive someone who has killed someone so close to you, think of how they must feel. also dont take anything out on that persons daughter, she has nothing to do with this.


i would get some professional help because there can be some legal issues when dealing with potentialy suicidal people so i am telling you to try and get some help besides this forum.

with that said this is a place where you can come to and talk anytime theres always people on here willing to help in any way they can
alright.

:-)

you'll get through this, don't worry it just takes some time
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Cory,
I read your post , and it made me sad. today is my youngest sons 5th birthday. I am 27 years old, and have suffered from manic depression since I was 16. I dont know how many times I had planned to kill my self, and even today, suicidal thoughts are ever present. What makes me sad, is to think that if i had gone through with any of those plans, or my reckless behavior did me in, I would not be where I am today. I have 5 beautiful kids, and a a husband of 10 years. I lost 2 very close cousins in a car accident when I was 14, and have never been the same. Depression runs in the family, along with other mental illnesses. You have to be a fighter. Live for those little things that make you happy. you are 13, life is just beginning for you. life also throws things at you unexspectedly. prepare for the worse, but remember good things do happen. The people around you love you, and think of them often. remember what you felt when you lost the people you loved. Do you really want to inflict that pain on others.
I have done my share of therapy, counsling, anti-depressent meds, hospital stays etc... today I am medication free, but I do struggle. i try to focus on the good in my life. I will not lie and say I never feel defeated, I do, I fight my inner demons every day, but I find the strenght....some where, and pull through. Live day by day, you have a beautiful future, make it what you will.---C.B
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Hi honey! I first want to say I am sending you out a HUGE hug!!! And I want you to listen to what I have to say OK? You have had a LOT of upset in your young life! And unfortunately when adults are dealing with tragedy - as in your parents loosing their mom and then their sister, they are SO devestated they forget to look down and see that their children are just as devestated!

I lost my mom to cancer 9 years ago! I was SO devestated, that I forgot to ask my 8 year old son how he was doing, one day I got a call from his teacher saying that he wasn't dealing with it all! I was devestated, so I couldn't see past my own pain! We talked and dealt with it together!

Have you talked to your parents about how you feel about your loss? You NEED to reach out and get some help and understanding and counselling! At such a young age you can't deal with such a BIG issue of death and loss! It is too much to handle for you!

You are at this stage in your life where you not only have hormones, and self identity and girl issues, and school etc etc etc! BUT you have this depression as well! Most doctors - and myself who's just a mum - do NOT believe in giving young children anti depressents!! BUT totally believe in having these children talk to others - either support groups for loss, counsellors, psychologists, and of course parents, family members!

Don't EVER consider suicide honey! I've been there as many others have too! The problem is that this will MULTIPLY the devestation to your loved ones 10 fold more than what they felt when they lost their loved ones! We can't stop terminal illness's, we can't stop deadly accidents, BUT we sure in the hell can stop self murder! And THAT is what stays with your loved ones, the total and utter devestation of NOT being able to stop you from murdering yourself! Suicide doesn't even sound major, it doesn't sound as devestating as it is! It should be called what it is MURDER! You are contemplating MURDERING yourself! So because you are hurting and feel like you are overwhelmed, you want to add that pain and misery 100 times over onto your family! I have had many friends who have either killed themselves or had family members kill themselves! The UTTER devestation that is left behind, I don't think the person that MURDERED themself could EVER comprehend! I have always said that NO ONE has the right to end their lives, except for people whom are dying of terminal illness's! When my mother was dying, I would have ended her life quicker if she had asked, because I feel we don't have the right to make someone suffer so inhumanely! What my mom and your grandma did was FIGHT everyday that they had left! And because you are hurting this doesn't give you the right NOT to fight honey! You would be placing the fault of your death onto your grandma and your aunt!!! Is that fair to their memory? :'( You have to make the memory of your loved ones shine with your achievments as a person! Your family could not STAND one more tragedy!

So I would like you to come forth to your parents or a trusted adult, and ask for some help! Believe me honey, you are NOT alone with how you feel at this stage in your life! I felt the same way when I was 13 - because young people think "Well this is it!!!" They don't look at tommorrow! I will tell you what I tell my boys "Today could be the worst day of your life, BUT tommorrow could be the best!" You NEVER know what is around the corner honey! So please stay strong and ask for some help OK? Lots of hugs and strength!
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thanks you guys,i really appreciate it i really do i wont kill myself..but i have anotherthing to ask advice for..umm well my girlfriends best friendt loves her,(they used to date) and im afraid her friend is going to take her away form me..because the friend acts like they are still dateing her,and it makes me mad,even nikki the friend and other nikiks friends(all girls) are goign to the dance at the end of the year and i was going to ask her..and its a bit hard to talk to her because after my first break up(my last girl friend cheated on me twice) and it made me hard to open up..
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Hi Honey! I'm confused are you a girl? Or is your girlfriend a bisexual? Get in there and ask here - either way! you and her are going out right? So she's "yours" so don't worry about the other girl! Clue me in here OK? 8-| ;-) I'm a middleaged housewife and always need to be "informed" XD
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lol im a boy,and yes she is bi,but i dont really care...its her friend maggie im worried about,and thank you so much for helping..any advice on talking to her about anything?
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and maggie keeps hanging around nikik as if she is still going out with her..it annoys me..but i cant just go up to her and say "hey back off",and i was kinda wanting to ask nikki to the ance,but if she dose go with her friends im ganna get my friends u and were all ganna go,and im ganna see if shed like to dance..hopefully..
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So Nickiki is YOUR girlfriend right? So your call, get in there and ask before Maggie does! Because Maggie can still be her "friend" which usually isn't the case if she is a guy - doesn't usually happen! So Magie just might be trying to get back in! Also know that you are NOT alone with the whol bisexual girlfriend dilemma! A friend of my sons is bi and when she was with this older girl, and split and went out with a guy, that girl hung around CONSTANTLY! As there isn't that Seperation as much as there is with heterosexual! Also in nature there isn't such a thing as bi-sexual! So your girlfriend might have tried it with Maggie, but has now decided she like boys better! At this age it is VERY difficult to work out hormones! Heck I'm 45 and still can't!!! ;-) 8-| XD So get in there and be strong! Don't let Maggie think she is getting to you, or she WILL!! OK?
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Thanks! i will try,i talked to maggie last night,she said shed leave a spot open for me next to nikki,
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Don't talk to Maggie about Nikki OK? I will give you the biggest advice about dealing with girls OK? NEVER talk about your girlfriend to ANYONE!! It is animal nature for others to want what you have, they could be your best friend and have NEVER been interested in your girlfriend, BUT as soon as they think "Hey since buddy here is going out with her there must be somthing about her" And then they start problems! If you have pets in particular dogs, they will ALL go after the same bone - even if they have one of their own! It doesn't matter, I am married to my ex boyfriends best friend!!!!!! So I know honey! And IF Maggie goes and talks to Nikki about what you said, then Nikki will be MAD!!!!! Have faith in her and yourself, no need to involve ANYONE else in this dance OK? REMEMBER THAT!!!!
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