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I had to drop out of school in the middle of my sophmore year because of severe depression and panic attacks. I posted something in the "teens" forum, but I just don't know if they can understand some of the things I'm going through. I stole my dads old supply of vicodin he used for his back. I've taken 7-8 at a time, not knowing if I would die or not. I've tried to commit suicide 5-6 times, but have never told anyone. I know that sounds weird, but I took perscription and over-the-counter drugs to try to commit suicide, but I have a high tolerance for things like that. I haven't died or gotten sick or anything like that. I've been having these strange attacks every 1-2 days. I get really stressed and then I revert back to age 3. I can't think, I have to hit myself upside the head to even try and I can't speak or explain my feelings. All I want to do is throw a fit and cry. Its the worst feeling ever. I don't understand what is going on with me. I scratch myself until I bleed sometimes and it feels so good. I've also tried cutting myself and burning myself. Anything to let me feel something other than emotional pain. Please help!!!! I've been trapped like this for four years!!!

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You need to get some professional help right away! Cbt can help eliminate the panic attacks but you need to talk to a suicide prevention hotline asap in my opinion. Try this one 1 800 SUICIDE (1800 784-2433). Call now.
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I know what it feels like to feel how you are feeling, but trust me, suicide is not the way out. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know it feels like it will never lift, but don't listen to these BS doctors about taking meds, that will just mess you up more, you have to take control of your life. Your young!! you gotta enjoy that, I mean im 19 and I feel old!!! I wish everyday I could be 16 again. Just take everyday slowly and I promise you everything will be ok :-)
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good advice Nik :-D
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I woke up one morning 3 years ago, and thought I'd gone insane overnight. I had instant agrophobia, I was in a constant state of panic, and my mind was so full of crazy noisy thoughts, that I just couldn't think straight over the top of these thoughts.

I took myself off to see my doctor, who having known me for a few years, recognised the problem instantly and told me that I had a stress and anxiety disorder. He explained to me that I shouldn't think of it as depression, as that is a term that is grossly misunderstood by people.
He told me that I had to be patient and to work towards re-taking control of my mind. It's important to remember that this is not a mental ilness. The symptoms certainly make it feel that it is, but the cause is simply a gland in your body NOT producing enough of a chemical that helps us all to "feel good".
I was prescibed SERTRALINE, which is not an anti depressant, but aids the recovery of this mis-firing gland. 3 years later I am almost through it thanks to a loving and understanding family and friends.
My doc told me from day one that this illlness was nothing to be ashamed of as many many people are suffering from it every day, and it is becoming as common as catching a cold.
I was to be honest with everyone I met. I was to tell them that I had a stress and anxiety disorder, and I would explain to them about my panic attacks, and my other wierd behaviour that was abnormal compared to my state of mind before the attack. Most people didn't understand anything, but at least they gave me some space, which in turn removed from the equation many stressful situations. Gradually over the years, I learned to anticipate and control the unexplainable rages i would fly into, and I also forced myself into situations that my mind was telling me that I shouldn't. That way, I felt that I was fighting this negative being inside my head, and I was determined to come out on top and re-claim my life back.
I know a few other people with the same problem. Their doctors have just put them on anti depressants and they have not got any better. Anti depressants work on the symptoms but not the cause. Only you and a drug like sertraline can finally win over the cause.
Change your doctor if you feel he/she is not helping. Discussion groups do help too. Also, seek some counselling. These options put you into contact with people who are understanding and sympathetic, and its a huge weight off your shoulders when you see that you are not by any means the only one who is suffering. With time you will get through this. Fight hard that negative voice in your head, because you are stronger and you can take control, and everytime you achieve something that the voice said you could not achieve, laugh out loud at the fact that you won a battle and overcame the fear. It gets easier with every battle that you win, until eventually the war will be over. The voice is no longer controlling how you feel. You are. Good luck my friend. You can do this.
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I'm 17 and have recently come out of a 4 year long depression. Turns out I am bipolar. No, I am not medicated. I have found my own ways of coping. To be quite honest what I did was I went on a spiritual journey. I found out why I'm here and who I am and now none of the things I was so miserable about before matter. (i know it sounds cheesy..)

I can't give you all the answers you need, thats something for yourself. But one thing I do want to let you know(and you can listen or not, its up to you..) is that what I've learnt about life is that we are all here to learn. If you sit there all day doing nothing because you're so miserable and so afraid of becoming even more miserable.. are you going to get happy? no. Don't be so afraid. Be strong. Get hurt. Heal. Forgive. Live. Learn. You will find your own ways of coping but just think about it like this: if you sit there going 'oh poor me, poor me im so sick in the head and i dont know how to cope', at the end of your life when you're lying on your death bed you're going to look back on your life and think 'yep. that sure was a waste of life.' and you don't want that. Go out there. Distract yourself from the pain inside and have fun with your life. What do you like? Go do it. Do whatever makes you happy.
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Good advice Pix :) The only part I would argue is that rather than using distraction you need to confront the thoughts that cause the pain by identifying the thinking errors you are making that cause the pain and then counter the thoughts in a TEA form for lasting relief.

Good job also Pix!
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i felt the exact same way growing up and it quickly got worse the older i got.. when i was 13 i went to the dr. for panic attacks and depression.. i tried a couple different meds.. the ones that i have been on for 9 years now are cymbalta and the generic prozac.. they are both depression meds but when you take them together they help with the panic attacks.. talk to your dr about taking those.. i have also found that exercise helps A LOT!! it helps to get your endorphines working and really does help!! i know that it was hard to sleep at times and then other times all i could do was sleep but getting the right amount of sleep helps too... you will find that different things will work for you but try these becasue they really helped me.. i still have panic attacks every once and a while ( every 6 months or so) but now that i have experiences life without them i know that i can get thru them and that eventually things will be ok.. please dont do anything drastic.. i know what it feels like and have thought the same things but i am SO GLAD that i didnt do anything life altering.. please go to your dr again and try these other things.. best of luck.. b
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Exercise and relaxation techniques like yoga help a lot and reduce symptoms, but to get long lasting relief I think you have to learn the CBT exercises that help you change your thought process to one that is objective and less anxiety causing or go the med route.
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Know how you feel Heythere, I attempted suicide for the 4th time in december, at which point my mother and sister then found out about my history with self harm and depression =/ I reckon i have something wrong with me but after one meeting with a schrink and therapist, they decided im fine, i just need to do a self harm support group (Y) I wont give you a lecture about how trying to take your life is "wrong" because thats the wrong word, and its not important. What is important is tht you get help, preferably by going to the doctors and possibly talking to people too. Hope you're ok love x
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hi emo cachia are you from Malta or do u have relatives from Malta

Cause Cachia is a Maltese surname

Im Maltese and i suffer from anxiety panic attacks and depression:(((


Best of luck

Gil From Malta
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Gil-

The same advice about CBT and the TEA form exercise applies to you if you suffer from anxiety panic and depression. If you work at it you can achieve significant relief in a pretty short amount of time :-D
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Checking back in to see if you got any help> I hope you have and are feeling better now.
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Hey there I know exactly how you feel out there.!!!

I have these strange symptoms like i feel im going insane or that im mentally sick. Most of the mornings i feel depressed my vision seems strange i have floaters like cobwebs in my eyes that come and go!!!

Sometimes I feel that life sucks because its always the same although i go and play snooker with my friends.

I have very loving family and my gf loves me a lot.

I know how depression feels my friends . It really sucks and no doctors , psychologist or psychiatrist can understand the feeling u feel inside like we understand each other because you definately have to pass from it to know the symptoms.

They really suck sometimes I cry myself out from nothing especially when somebody say something bad about myself. Im very sensitive person.

In the evenings im far more better. I feel like this monster has faded away , but in the morning he start to breed once again and become alive.

Sometimes i feel paranoid too like i dont want to see people and sensitive to noises like if a mobile phone rings i become paranoid:(((


It really sucks...... God Bless you all!!!

Regards from Malta
Gilbert
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Gilbert have you tried learning the CBT thought countering techniques? Sometimes a simple adjustment in how you talk to yourself will change your life for the better.
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