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I'm currently 20 years old and married for 3 months and now I've found out I'm pregnant and I can't support the child so i've decided abortion is the only option. This is hard because I've always told myself that I would never abort a child but make it work and face the music from the choices I made. It became a different story when I realized that I'm a double major in college, I still need to purchase a car, find a new apartment, and pay of school loans; making it impossible to care or support a baby. I'm sitting here now two days before my scheduled abortion and I seem to be depressed and anxious about the question I keep asking myself " Is this the right decision?". I know that my father would not support me, my mother who has to many marital problems is not a source to go to, and my husbands family who would say we were stupid; would all make the decision to keep the child seem like a burden. My reasons for abortion are rational ones such as more time for my husband and I as we are newly weds, I will be getting two jobs this summer, I can barely afford the place I live in, and I have a lot of debts to pay off. I cannot consider adoption because it would be the worst option out of all if I let someone else care for my child. It may be selfish I understand and I have been praying to God to help me find the correct answer. I hope that someone on here can understand what I am going through and give me some advice on what I should do.

Thanks.

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Hi honey! First of all a BIG hug to you!!

I nor ANYONE on her can tell you what to do! Thus the word "Choice"! I am a Pro-Choice person, yet I too don't like the idea of abortion! Adoption is an HONORABLE option - yet it is still you who has to carry the baby and still work the 2 jobs to keep your head above water! And then the recovery after! That doesn't change at all! There IS the open adoption option - where you know what is happening and get pictures etc.

My dearest friend gave up her son for adoption - for reasons as yours - but unfortunately this wasn't an open adoption it was AWFUL for her! Yet her sister who put up her son for adoption, wasn't so invested! It is SO hard either way!

The biggest quesiton is how does your husband feel about this? IF you feel that you will have NO help from anyone I think there is your answer! IF there is a help out there that's another! It takes THOUSANDS of dollars to raise a child honey! And even though this would eb the TOUGHEST decision of your life - either way, you have to look at ALL what is involved in it! You are obviously tormented by this and I know you are not taking it lightly! We aren't in your life! We don't know how people will deal with you or even if they would step up to the plate!

I will tell you what I have told my boys - this might help you - I have told my boys that IF they get a girl pregnant they HAVE to come to us first before doing anything! I stated that we would do whatever it took to take care of the baby! And even though we would be ticked off, we WOULD be there! I don't think many parents have this conversation with their children! So BEFORE you do this, you need to ask the family how they feel about it OK? BECAUSE if you had this and then found out later they would have helped you, you WILL be devestated. So find out IF there is help out there and WILL be there OK? God Bless you honey and I hope what is meant to be will be!!!!
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Thank you, the words of wisdom help. I know the choice I am making is hard and I will have to be judged someday for it. In my opinion I knows its the best choice all around and the more I talk to people and get advice that helps the more I feel better about it. I have spoken to a christian support group that has offered counseling after the abortion if I need it. This is a big reliever in my opinion because I will have more people supporting me. My husband agree's with my decision as muc has it hurts us, because we know that our lives are no where near ready to fit a child in with the way our finances are at the moment.
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Hi honey! I think you are the same person as whom I just answered! Anyways, Either way it is SO hard and NO ONE has the right to put you down or question you about your decision! They aren't walking in your shoes! IF there is loads of help then that's one thing, IF there isn't that's another! And also -unlike adoption - no one else needs to know! I have known about 13 women whom have had abortions all but 2 of them were Catholic/Religious, so it happens in ALL cultures, religions, age groups etc. So you did what you needed to do! BIG hugs honey!
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