A couple is lying in bed.
He said, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
She said, "I'll miss you."
_______________________
He said as he stepped from the shower, "It's just too hot to wear clothes
today. Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed
the lawn like this?"
She said, "Probably that I married you for your money,"
_______________________
He said, "Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you
really badly."
She said, "Well, you succeeded."
______________________
He said, "What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?"
She said, "Turn sideways and look in the mirror."
______________________
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumor

> ______________________
One day the housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to her:
"What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
"It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...
_______________________
A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding
anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said
that because they had been such a devoted couple she would grant each of them a very special wish. The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger.......

Whoosh....Immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!
_______________________
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST! :

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover
of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her
boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the
milk carton.