To start here is a little information about myself and life situation. I'm 18 and currently in a stable and amazing relationship with a great women. Like most romantic relationships, there is both a emotionally romantic and a physically romantic side. I've always been fairly health conscious when it comes to sex, porn and masturbation. When I was 16 I spent a large amount of time trying to figure out what was a healthy amount of porn and masturbation. I've taken the same attentiveness for safety to my relationship. So far we have only engaged in fingering, Oral(me receiving), and hand jobs. As well as the usual making out and lighter kisses.
Prior to our relationship progressing past making out we openly discussed our on and off switches, Our limits in order each of us do our best ensure that the other is comfortable with it. We both are virgins and this is a new experiences for us. We agree that we feel comfortable and our ready both mentally and physically to loose our virginity together. We decide to use a male condom because planned parent hood says they have a lower rate of breakage assuming they were applied correctly ( 2/100 for male condoms and 5/100 for female condoms). Because of this disparity in effectiveness we agree to use a male condom.
I've always been very secure with my body and never felt the need to measure my penis. My partner has a severe latex allergy so many male condoms are off the table. After watching/reading dozens of guides on the proper application and use of a condom I bought a 3 pack of Trojan Natural lamb skin to skin. Following what I've learned on line and the instructions specific to that condom found in the packaging. I encountered a problem. I was unable to maneuvering the condom over the head of my penis (cut if that is relevant). I threw the condom away and decide to try again and see how it goes. Attempt two didn't go much better, I was able to maneuvering the condom on past the head but it causes great discomfort.
I headed out to the net to learn more and found that what I was told in sex ed was a myth. Condoms were in fact not one-size fits all. I found a Condom size chart. I followed instructions on how to measure the penis in it's erect state. After careful measurement and a double check I discovered that my penis when fully erect is 8 1/16". I'm not sure if this is well endowed or average and I don't really care. It's my body and I'm happy with it, so is my partner.
I plan on trying Trojan BareSkin Non-Latex Supra. The measurement seemed to fit on the chart. I don't care how much money I go through finding the right condom I just want to know what works for my body. That way I can be as safe as possible.
After going through all this, and learning about myself. Some questions have arisen. When give our virginity to each other how can I ensure that my size doesn't cause her pain. She doesn't have a Hymen because it was accidentally broken in masturbation and isn't used to anything more than 4 inches and 2 fingers wide inside her. Am I missing anything in regards to safety and proper condom selection?
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Hi Guest,
You are correct. In condoms one size does not fit all. Try different brands as sizing between manufacturers varies.
Remember to put it on before any sexual contact.
As to your first time, make sure she is very aroused beforehand, as in very wet. You may consider using extra lubrication, KY or something similar (water based only). Take your time when you enter and don't plan on going deep.
You are well above average sized, that's about 5 - 5 1/2". If you go very deep you will likely hit her cervix and that can cause pain.
She's going to be sore no matter what you do. Tissues are going to stretch and tear. It is a form of trauma to the tissues.
Don't be surprised if there is bleeding. It can be as a result of the trauma, and there may still be part of the hymen left.
Again, take your time and TALK to each other. Ask her how's she's doing, what feels good, if something hurts. She should do the same with you. Sex is communication on a different level - listen to each other.
Good luck.
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Thank you Dan for the thoughtful and well written reply.
I wasn't aware of just how well I've been endowed I am. In my naivety I thought the average size was 6 1/2 -7". This raise a whole host of concerns that I hope you can provide clarity on.
For us a private room for the night is a great rarity. Logically I can only assume that she won't be able to fully embrance me on the first time. Since our chances do make love would be seperated by posibly months, would that cause any potential progress to be reverted? I can only image that unless she changes her masterbation habbits to try and further ajust to my size it could take 9 months posible a year.
I've heard that bleeding is natural but trauma, stretching and tearing? This is the absolute last thing I would want inflict upon her. Is this avoidable or is it a natural step that can only be minimized given my size.
Would you advise trying out positions with dry humping so she can get a general idae what is most comfortable for her?
Sorry about spelling errors, I've learned to rely on spell check quite heavily and the reply future doesn't seem to have.
In the original post when linking the size chart I tried to create a link using my knoledge of HTML coding but it seems this site doesn't have support in the poster for that. Still it's been a great help. Thank you.
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If I may have some clearity on this as well. It was my understand that a condom applied for any sexual contact was largly in prevention of STI's. In a case like ours. where we both a for obvious reasons clean. Is a condom needed for Oral/ handjobs or other sexual contact that doesn't involve my penis to her vigina?
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Yes user, you are endowed.
Her vagina is going to stretch to accommodate your penis. This, by itself, causes the trauma to the tissues, the stretching and tearing. It's going to happen regardless of your size. The first few times she has sex can be somewhat painful. That's why I also suggest you make sure she is very "ready" beforehand. Her body will produce natural lubrication, as will yours, but using something like KY Jelly can help provide additional lubrication.
By taking your time and talking to her, you can reduce the pain, maybe to more of a "discomfort." This discomfort is NORMAL.
Yes, if a period of time passes the tissues will recover a bit. That's normal too.
Ask her what is best. Look for a position where you don't go in as deep as you could.
Condoms are used to prevent pregnancy but as a side effect they also form a very good barrier against STI's. If neither of you has an STD then you can't pass one to the other partner so you don't need them for oral/handjobs.
And really just take your time and talk to each other. A small shift in position by either of you can really make a difference in how comfortable your experience is.
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Thank you so much for your help, it's as if I went to a doctor in person for help. You have been great.
I have one more issue. I'm having a lot of trouble finding a condom that doesn't suffocate my penis. Finding 8 inch condoms for length isn't that hard, non latex limits the amount of options but there are still a large amount of non-latex 8 inch condoms. The problem is the circumference. My penis fully erect is 6 5/8 (6.625 or 168.2). After searching on-line I found out that that amount of girth is extremely uncommon so I decide to measure again to see if I made a mistake. I remeasured four times to ensure that there was no mistake. I've went through my entire life thinking I was average or slightly above and now that I know I'm more than slightly above it just seems like an burden and not a gift.
Do you know of any non-latex condoms that accomidate such girth?
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I don't user. Have you checked online as they probably will not be stocked in a store.
There may be another option if you both choose - daily birth control pills. They are very reliable, as reliable if not better than a condom. True, they do not protect against STD's but since you are both virgins that will not be an issue.
"Morning after" type pills are not as reliable and should only be used in an emergency.
There are also implants or IUD's that your partner could wear.
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Thank you for your help, I did check on-line. I haven't been able to find custon non-latex condoms. However there are a great amount of latex condoms custom makers. I will talk to her about birth-control medication. We might also reconsider female condoms. Thank you for your help.
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