What are your thoughts on pipe bands?

I do... most of the time, unless I have a migraine and then it's just annoying, along with everything else.

a'ye

Amazing Grace on the pipes - Scotland the Brave brings back memories of Parade as a Cadet

:1:

I was fortunate enough a few years back in Edinburgh to see the Military Tattoo at the castle. Pure luck - my vacation was at the same time.

A-effing-mazing.

Most of the time I love pipes and drums.

But if the Piper stinks...it sounds like two cats in a blender.....JU's NEW blender... :P

Sorry but I can't resist:

Top 42 Bagpipe Jokes

1.
Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.
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2.
Q. What's the definition of a minor second?
A. Two bagpipes playing in unison.
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3.
Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up an bagpipe.
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4.
Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
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5.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get away from the bagpipe recital.
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6.
Q. Why do bagpipers leave their cases on their dashboards?
A. So they can park in handicapped zones.
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7.
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a set into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the ducks.
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8.
Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.
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9.
Q. What's the difference between the Great Highland and Northumbrian bagpipes?
A. The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter]
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10.
Q. What do you call bagpiper with half a brain?
A. Gifted.
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11.
Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.
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12.
Q. How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five, one to handle the bulb and the other four to contemplate how Bill Livingston would have done it.
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13.
Q. How many bagpipers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. 5-one to do it, and four to criticise his fingering style.
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14.
Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an in-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you have been hallucinating.
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15.
Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
A. Add vibrato.
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16.
Q. How many bagpipers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Five. One to handle the bulb, the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
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17.
Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.
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18.
Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead bagpiper in the road?
A. Skid marks in front of the snake.
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19.
Q. What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.
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20.
Q. What's the range of a bagpipe?
A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.
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21.
Q. What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?
A. A bagpiper.
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22.
Q. What did the bagpiper get on his I.Q. test?
A. Drool.
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23.
Q. What's the definition of a quarter tone?
A. A bagpiper tuning his drones.
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24.
Q. Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?
A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.
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25.
Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.
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26.
Q. Why is a bagpipe like a Scud missile?
A. Both are offensive and inaccurate.
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27.
Q. What do bagpipers use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
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28.
Q. How do you know if a bagpipe band is at your front door?
A. No one knows when to come in.
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29.
Q. Why did the bagpiper get mad at the drummer?
A. He moved a drone and wouldn't tell him which one.
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30.
If you took all the bagpipers in the world and laid them end to end-- it would be a good idea.
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31.
Q. What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A start.
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32.
Q. If you drop a bagpipe and a watermelon off a tall building, which will hit the ground first?
A. Who cares?
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33.
Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
A. To get away from the sound.
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34.
Q. How late does the bagpipe band play?
A.Oh, about a half beat behind the drummer.
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35.
Q. Why do bagpipers always walk when they play?
A. Moving targets are harder to hit.
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36.
Q. What does a bagpiper wear under his kilt?
A. Shoes and socks.
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37.
Q. Why do they call it a "kilt"?
A. Because a lot of people got kilt when they called it a skirt.
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38.
BAND STRUCTURE OF THE ARGYLL & SUTHERLAND HIGHLANDERS

Drum Major:
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Faster than a speeding bullet
More powerful than a locomotive
Walks on Water
Talks to God

Pipers:
Leaps small buildings with a run-up
Is a crack shot
Pulls railway carriages
Fords rivers
Listens to god

Side Drummers:
Vaults over fences
Is allowed his own sidearm
Can read a railway timetable
Knows how to put on fishing gollashes
Believes in God

Tenor Drummers:
Can open and walk through a door
Knows which is the dangerous end of a gun
Has his own train set
Wears Wellington boots
Talks to himself

Bass Drummers:
Trips over matchsticks
Is NEVER allowed near firearms
Says "Look at CHOO-CHOO"
Plays in puddles
Nobody listens to him

and finally.

THE PIPE MAJOR:
Lifts tall buildings and walks underneath them
Catches bullets in his teeth and chews them
Kicks locomotives off their tracks
Drinks entire oceans
He IS GOD!!!!
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39.
Q. What's one thing you never hear people say?
A. Oh, that's the bagpipe player's Porsche.
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40.
Q: What's the difference between a Scotsman and a Rolling Stone?
A: A Rolling Stone says "hey you, get off of my cloud!", while a Scotsman says "Hey McLeod, get off of my ewe!"
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41.
Q. What's the definition of "optimism"
A. A bagpiper with a beeper.
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42.
Q. What's the difference between a bagpiper and a frog?
A. The frog might be getting a gig. (Some South Florida Humor)