7 Signs That Your OBGYN Sucks | Women's Health articles | Family Health center

Being able to trust in the skill and judgment of a healthcare provider is always essential. Obstetricians/gynecologists, in particular, help us care for one of the most intimate parts of our bodies: the reproductive system. Your OBGYN may see you through PAP smears, menstrual problems, miscarriages, sexually transmitted diseases, birth control choices, cervical cancer scares, unexplained abdominal pain, menopause symptoms that are wrecking your life, discomfort during sex, prenatal care and the birth of your babies. They may, in other words, be there for many of the most important events of your life. An OBGYN you trust is worth their weight in gold.

Not all OBGYNs are good doctors, however. Like everyone else, they may be overworked, burned out, or simply not very nice people. Though many people see doctors as authority figures — and it is true that they may be in the position to save your life or make the difference between health and illness — we have every right to remember that doctors are, essentially, public servants. A good OBGYN is an ally in reproductive care, not someone who expects you to do as they suggest without understanding why.

If your OBGYN sucks, it is time to ditch them. Here are red flags to watch out for.

1. Your OBGYN Has No Bedside Manners

If you need to go to the Emergency Room, you can expect to be seen by a variety of doctors, nurses and other staff you do not personally know — and if you are in a (potentially) life-threatening situation, action may well take precedence over politeness. Women who are seeing an OBGYN for preventative care such as PAP smears and pelvic exams, for birth control services, for prenatal visits and for a wide range of other issues that are not immediate emergencies deserve more personal care.

A good OBGYN should always take the time to become intimately familiar with your medical history, encourage you to ask questions, and explain any medical issues and treatments you are receiving in a way that is understandable to you.

They should neither bathe their sentences in medical jargon that you can't comprehend, nor oversimplify explanations, treating you like you don't have a brain. They should be non-judgmental, treating you with respect and refraining from making irrelevant comments about your sex life.

If your OBGYN is rude to you, dismisses your symptoms as "emotional" or "all in the head", doesn't take the time to answer your questions or does so in a way that makes no sense to you, or neglects to explain the advantages and risks of any treatment they recommend to you, those are huge red flags. If you do not feel comfortable with your OBGYN, or if — even worse — you feel intimidated or afraid of them, you should feel completely justified in looking for another doctor, one who treats you with respect and ensures your right to informed consent is met by providing you with information.

READ OBGYN Virgins: What Teens Should Expect From Their First Gynecologist Appointment

2. Your OBGYN Doesn't Listen To You

Though your OBGYN went to medical school, you live with your body every day. In not taking the time to listen what you have to say about your symptoms, your OBGYN isn't simply being rude — they could be putting your health at risk. Examples include dismissing your complaints about heavy menstrual cramping, telling you not to worry about the headaches you started getting when you went on the birth control pill, or telling you your all-day morning sickness and vomiting is completely normal without considering the possibility you might be suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum.

A good OBGYN will listen to what you have to say, spending more time asking you questions about your symptoms than telling you what to do or lecturing you.

Is It Time To Find Another OBGYN?

3. Your OBGYN Doesn't Have Time For You

Is your OBGYN expecting appointments to be over in a matter of minutes, leaving you without the opportunity to ask questions or share concerns? Are you being treated like an item on a conveyor belt, rather than a real, live, human patient? Do you need to book appointments weeks in advance, even if you are dealing with very worrying symptoms? Is your OBGYN not available after office hours in cases of emergency? Do you need to take time off work when you need to see your OBGYN, because slots aren't available when you are not working?

Your OBGYN doesn't have time for you, and is robbing you of the chance to develop a real doctor-patient relationship that would help catch medical conditions early. You have every right to look around for an OBGYN who does have value your health as much as you do.

4. Your OBGYN Isn't Up To Date

We live in a world where information is easily accessible, even by lay people. Are you a Twenty-First Century patient? Chances are that you will browse the internet to find out more about the symptoms you are experiencing before you even get to the doctor's office, and that you will perform a Google search prior to undergoing routine checkups such as mammograms, PAP smears, and prenatal ultrasounds.

If, during the course of your visit, you get the impression that you almost know more than your OBGYN does, because, for instance, they have no idea what you are talking about when you ask whether that Hormone Replacement Therapy is still safe in light of recent findings that it comes with an increased risk of breast cancer and stroke? That's a sign that your OBGYN isn't up to date.

Doctors who don't follow recent developments in medicine as closely as their patients are walking red flags who might as well be wearing a badge that says "look for another doctor!"

5. Your OBGYN Judges You

Does your OBGYN not want to prescribe you birth control pills or give you a Paragard intrauterine device when you think you may be pregnant, because they have religious objections? Does your OBGYN strongly oppose your desire to have a fifth child despite not being able to provide a medical explanation as to why another pregnancy would be risky for you? Is your OBGYN rude to you when you contract genital herpes? Does your OBGYN make weird comments that indicate they judge you for having sex though you're not married? That's not nice.

Doctors should be able to provide scientifically accurate, evidence-based information and treatment recommendations without adding a side dish of personal judgment. And if they aren't willing to provide services you need and which they are qualified to offer because of moral objections? You need another doctor.

READ How Women Can Detect Gynecological Cancers Before They Even Go To The Doctor

6. Your Doctor Goes Along With All Your Wishes

On the other hand, there are women who believe you should ditch your OBGYN if they disagree with your birth plan, if they dare to bring up the possibility of selective reduction when you are pregnant with quadruplets, or if they have a high c-section rate. While your OBGYN should always listen to you — both paying attention to your reports about your symptoms and your personal beliefs that affect reproductive choices — they also have a duty to provide you with accurate information despite your beliefs.

If your OBGYN is a "yes man" who agrees with everything you say even though your desires may run counter to evidence-based medicine, that is another red flag. A good doctor doesn't just listen to you, they also inform you when your personal desires are medically dangerous.

7. Your OBGYN Is Rough

Finally, a good OBGYN ensures that you are as physically comfortable as you can possibly be, being gentle during pelvic and vaginal examinations and — for instance — warming a metal speculum before inserting it. They should intuit fear and discomfort and ask you whether you are in pain. If a procedure is going to hurt, they should inform you in advance. If your OBGYN treats you like a piece of meat without pain sensors, you deserve a new doctor.

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