Congratulations, You're Going To Be A Dad! How Men Can Prepare For A New Baby

You and your partner both decided to have a baby, and you are both happily expecting. How can you, as a man, prepare for fatherhood and a new baby? The myth that pregnancy and small babies are solely a mother's domain is very persistent, and given the fact that the pregnancy isn't developing inside your body, it's easy to feel a little like an outsider. But it doesn't have to be like that.

My friend's husband plays in a band, and often comes home in the early hours of the morning. He's had an excellent relationship with his kids since before they were born, something my friend first noticed when she was pregnant with her first daughter. “I really didn't have anything to do with it,” my friend explained.

“I'd be asleep when he came home, and he'd just put his hand on my belly and have a 'conversation' with the baby. Whenever he put his hand there, she'd kick back to say hello. Sometimes, he played the guitar for her.”

This touching story is radically different to some blogs you might read about preparing for fatherhood. One post I recently came across seriously advised dads to-be to stock up on batteries of various sizes and to buy a screwdriver set, so they could make sure the baby's “numerous battery-operated toys” would never run out of power. This sad image fits in very well with society's views on fatherhood... and masculinity in general, for that matter.

So, how can a new dad begin to prepare for fatherhood when he's not the one who's pregnant? The fact that he is not the one who is carrying the baby around in his body is not really relevant. We can give you some of the old cliché tips on “taking on more household chores” because your wife just can't do it any more and she needs "help". That advice stands, though I'll assume that you did household chores before your partner got pregnant too.

Your role in the practical preparations for the baby is pretty crucial too. Standing on a wobbly ladder while attempting to paint the walls of the new nursery with a nine-month belly isn't a good idea. That baby bump makes the center of gravity shift, after all. Ask me how I know. If your partner is suffering from the nesting instinct and wants to do all the cool work herself, you can at least hold that ladder while she paints, and "spot" for her.

You could also, let's say, make lots of meals to feed the freezer, so that you guys will be able to warm them up after the baby gets there, and nobody has to cook from scratch or order those unhealthy take-outs you're otherwise probably going to be doomed to.

The practical stuff is important, but it is not all that hard to figure out. There is nothing there that is unique to expectant fathers. Whatever needs to be done will be done, unless the expectant mom is on bed rest, and in that case you really do become indispensable. The emotional side of preparing for fatherhood is much more important than all this chore and DIY stuff everyone seems to think fathers to-be should be doing.