When you hear about stalking, that coverage most often focuses on the victim — on the impact this crime has on targets while the stalking is ongoing and afterward, and on the steps that stalking victims can take to stay safe. The victim is, of course, not the only person involved in this dark, twisted, terrifying, and unwanted relationship; the stalker lies in wait on the other side.
Why Do Stalkers Stalk?
Stalkers generally target public figures, former intimate partners, or people they want to pursue a romantic relationship with — but of course, there are exceptions; some stalkers may relentlessly pursue a former boss who fired them, for instance. Because we hear so much about offenders who stalk celebrities and abusive men who stalk their ex-partners, it's easy to get the idea that all stalkers fall into those categories.
That's not true.
Research into the psychology of stalkers has revealed that stalkers can have multiple distinct motivations. According to one study entitled Stalking: Patterns, motives, and intervention strategies, the most common motivations to stalk someone are:
- A "delusional belief in romantic destiny" — in other words, the stalker believes that they are somehow fated to be in an intimate relationship with their victim, as well as often that the victim is in love with them. The stalker may know the victim well, but it's just as likely that they've never met (and that the victim is a public figure) or that they have only had a brief encounter.
- A "desire to reclaim a prior relationship", in which case the stalker believes that they can get their ex-partner back, no matter how clear the victim has made it that they want no contact whatsoever.
- A "sadistic urge to torment the victim". Stalkers who victimize former partners may be motivated by thoughts like "you'll never be free of me", or "if I can't have you, nobody else can, either", but non-romantically motivated stalkers also often fall into this category.
- A "psychotic overidentification with the victim and the desire to replace him or her", most often seen in stalkers who target public figures. In this case, the stalker may be of the same sex as the victim.
Other research has identified at least two further types of stalkers. One is the "socially incompetent" individual, who has no malicious intentions but simply doesn't know how to have actual relationships with people — and these stalkers are much less likely than other types to be able to make long-term strategic plans. The other is the sexual predator who uses stalking as a means to prepare for an attack.
Although not all stalkers set out to torment their victims, they all inevitably do.
What Kinds of People Become Stalkers?
Despite the fact that stalking has become a well-known phenomenon, much research still remains to be done to discover the psychological profiles of stalkers. Thus far, it appears that:
- Male stalkers are four times as common as female stalkers. While male stalkers have a variety of motivations, female stalkers almost exclusively stalk with the intention of establishing a romantic relationship. They often target people they have met and who have helped them, such as psychologists or teachers.
- Most stalkers are in their 30s and 40s.
- Most stalkers are intelligent, and many are well-educated. Research has specifically pointed out that stalkers who are convicted and who end up in the prison system have higher IQs than most other inmates.
- Most stalkers meet the diagnostic criteria for at least one mental illness, even if they have never been diagnosed. Psychotic and delusional disorders are common among stalkers, but so are Cluster B personality disorders. These include Antisocial Personality Disorder ("psychopathy"), Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder.
People who become victims of stalkers they know personally will unquestionably already have noticed that the stalker has obsessive, controlling, manipulative, and jealous tendencies.
What Kinds of Behaviors Do Stalkers Engage In?
Stalking has been defined as "an intentional pattern of repeated intrusive and intimidating behaviors toward a specific person that causes the target to feel harassed, threatened, and fearful, or that a reasonable person would regard as being so".
Stalkers have a broad repertoire, and the specific behaviors a stalker turns to may depend not just on the stalker's technical and strategic skills, but also on their personality. Common examples of behaviors stalkers use to terrify their victims include:
- Monitoring the victim's movements, physically (by following them) and on the internet (including by means of hacking if the stalker is skilled enough), and letting the victim know that they're intimately familiar with their schedule in subtle and obvious ways.
- Making contact via email, social media, phone, post, messages left at the victim's workplace, "gifts" sent to the victim's house, and so on.
- Burglarizing the victim's property and leaving behind clues. Turning up at the victim's workplace, their friend's house, and so on — in other words, sending the general message that wherever the victim goes, the stalker will find them.
- Verbally threatening or intimidating the victim.
- Physically assaulting the victim.
Interestingly, stalkers who were formerly in an intimate relationship with the victim and who have been to the victim's home multiple times are most likely to become physically violent — and research has found that neither substance abuse nor a previous history of physical violence indicates whether a stalker will physically harm a victim.
Can a tendency to stalk be treated, you wonder? Research shows that stalkers have a very high rate of reoffending, especially where substance abuse and personality disorders are involved. However, stalkers who have a delusional disorder can successfully be treated with medication and therapy, and have a much higher rehabilitation rate.