Hello, I'm a 9th grader in high school age 14 1/2. This one 12th grade boy keeps stalking me, he is one of my ex boyfriends (whom I'm still friends with and we have just normal conversations. We had a mutual break up) best friends. My ex had told me that my stalker had told him that he was madly in love with me, that just scares me even
More than him being just a regular stalker. It's getting to the point where I don't want to school, he has left me paranoid and terrified. I have tried telling him that I was not into him, I've told him directly, but he still doesn't listen, e is much bigger and possibly stronger than me, and I don't know what to do. I'm afraid that if I tell him no to many times that he might attack me, slap me, and possibly rape me. I don't want to say anything to mean but he is everywhere. He knows where me an my friends sit, he knows the route intake to walk home (EVERY route he finds). He knows where all my classes are and he is ALWAYS there. Can someone help me please my head is racing right now.
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Wow, I'm so sorry you're going through this traumatic experience.
You need to get the proper authorities involved. Go to your principal and describe the situation. Your ex may be given a formal reprimand from the school. Your principal may also give you any further instructions.
If after going to the school authorities things are still continuing or escalating, call the police.
Documentation will help you. Right now, write down every instance you can think of that might help you. When did you tell him you weren't interested? When did you say you wanted him to leave you alone? (If you haven't said that, make it very clear the next time you make contact.) What exactly (or to the best of your memory) have the two of you said to each other? Where has he met you? What has he done? How often does he make contact with you? Take all that information and give it to the authorities for help.
Don't let a single bit of new information slip. When you see him, write it down. When he calls, write it down. Write down what is said.
Go to your principal as soon as possible. I also suggest you inform your parents. They will help protect you. They need to be kept in the loop as to the safety of their daughter.
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What BedsonTrudeau said.
First practice writing out what your issue is. The post above is a little convoluted, but that could be you trying to obfuscate things a bit so as to hide identities (which is fine on here). Write it out a couple times, possibly in bullet points, to get an idea of what you want to say and need to say to various parties. Then:
Get the school involved, get your parents involved.
Get HIS parents involved.
Tell him GO AWAY.
Use the word "restraining order".
If it persists and gets to that point GET a restraining order.
If your school, state and country allow, carry pepper spray. Get two. Take one out to a VERY secluded area and practice spraying it so you know how it works. STAY UP WIND. Seriously. It's survivable (unless you have asthma), but it hurts.
Then carry the other one with you in your pocket. Don't tell anyone, don't threaten anyone, don't make a big deal about it, but if he gets you alone and threatens you soak his face with it.
These last two steps have the added benefit of working on anybody, not just that specific stalker.
Long term consider taking the NRA Refuse to be a Victim class (it's really good and doesn't involve guns) to get a good idea of strategies and ways of making your life safe. Also take a martial arts class--Akido, Krav Maga, Judo, eskrima, whatever you can find (really, any of them work) that fits into your schedule.
First practice writing out what your issue is. The post above is a little convoluted, but that could be you trying to obfuscate things a bit so as to hide identities (which is fine on here). Write it out a couple times, possibly in bullet points, to get an idea of what you want to say and need to say to various parties. Then:
Get the school involved, get your parents involved.
Get HIS parents involved.
Tell him GO AWAY.
Use the word "restraining order".
If it persists and gets to that point GET a restraining order.
If your school, state and country allow, carry pepper spray. Get two. Take one out to a VERY secluded area and practice spraying it so you know how it works. STAY UP WIND. Seriously. It's survivable (unless you have asthma), but it hurts.
Then carry the other one with you in your pocket. Don't tell anyone, don't threaten anyone, don't make a big deal about it, but if he gets you alone and threatens you soak his face with it.
These last two steps have the added benefit of working on anybody, not just that specific stalker.
Long term consider taking the NRA Refuse to be a Victim class (it's really good and doesn't involve guns) to get a good idea of strategies and ways of making your life safe. Also take a martial arts class--Akido, Krav Maga, Judo, eskrima, whatever you can find (really, any of them work) that fits into your schedule.
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