So I never talked about this ONLINE, but my Husband has always drank & I did as well. I would beable to drink like a fish Beer & all. After we had our son I could NOT stand the taste of beer or really anything, but he is still non stop! Our son is 8 almost 9. My husband is wounderful, be is my bestfriend. however going on 13yrs total, still drinking 18 to 20& sometimes more... He has been in a different place. Now he dose everything we both work full time! Cook,clean all ect.. But when he drinks he starts to resent me. He gets home before me almost everyday. & he loves to cook so he's doing that when I get home.
Anyway when he drinks I could stand the wronge way or not answer him fast enough or even when we are talking and our son will ask something and I tell him to wait... he walks away or starts talking (bad things) He has been having bloody nose bleeds BAD 2 to 5 a week. I think he has stopped telling me when he gets them now. I had ALL 4 wisdom teeth pulled and he would take my meds and I would end up with like 1 or 2 left.
When he dosen't drink we are so happy I love him and our son loves him too. our son has made (jokes) at school about being drunk.. when I told my husband he said I was just making it up, & now I go to conf. to meet with the teacher.
All in All I needed to vent: He tells me everything is my fault & I make him drink!
I'm not saying I'm perfect(Not at all)
I want to be with him I love him & I just make him made when We try to talk which is hardly ever b/c I don't want to fight infront of our son....................
Just venting & in need
in need of what? NOT SURE ?
Anyway when he drinks I could stand the wronge way or not answer him fast enough or even when we are talking and our son will ask something and I tell him to wait... he walks away or starts talking (bad things) He has been having bloody nose bleeds BAD 2 to 5 a week. I think he has stopped telling me when he gets them now. I had ALL 4 wisdom teeth pulled and he would take my meds and I would end up with like 1 or 2 left.
When he dosen't drink we are so happy I love him and our son loves him too. our son has made (jokes) at school about being drunk.. when I told my husband he said I was just making it up, & now I go to conf. to meet with the teacher.
All in All I needed to vent: He tells me everything is my fault & I make him drink!
I'm not saying I'm perfect(Not at all)
I want to be with him I love him & I just make him made when We try to talk which is hardly ever b/c I don't want to fight infront of our son....................
Just venting & in need
in need of what? NOT SURE ?
Loading...
My dad is a wonderful man a FaNTATIC grandad, an historian, funniest man on the planet etc. etc. et.c Oh yes he was also the most VIOLENT ALCOHOLIC AROUND!!! EVERYONE was to blame except him! My mom, my sister - never me for some reason, I called it selective reasoning - his job, the world etc etc etc. It is NO ONES Fault it is THEIR problem that they bring crashing down on everyones head!
Don't go to this meeting with the teacher, get them to call your husband and have him go by himself! Addicts STOP listening to the people around them - they think they don't know anything or that they are the problem! So when a STRANGER says "Heh I know you have a dirty little secret and the gigs up buddy" It is an eye opener to them! My dad drank his face off for over 40 years, and then he was rushed in to have his gallbladder removed and then they found out he had hepatitis from his liver! So THAT is what made him stop drinking! I was and still am SO angry that he was so selfish that the only way he stopped was when HIS health was in jeopardy NOT that we had nightmares, and saw horrible things and heard screaming and saw abuse and neglect!
It is HE that needs help, but he wont get it until he needs to! You need to evaluate just how many times things are good - because when we are going through a war, we tend to over emphasize the "good times" when in fact these good times have become less and less and we hold on to them as long as we can! Your husband WILL be dead from liver disease if he continues, and his anger and rage WILL increase towards you! As a daughter of an alcoholic and an abusive one, I will tell you that your son knows and sees FAR too much already and will start ntoicing even more and start acting out! You need to get your self and your son some help! And perhaps leave for awhile!
There is one thing I know for sure - as I have been told by MANY addicts or cheaters - the very FIRST time you take it, they loose ALL respect for you! And they know that no matter how many times you say "I've had it!, I'm leaving, If you do this again etc. etc. etc." the KNOW that you don't have the "guts" to do it! Because you took it once maybe twice or twenty times and they know that you WONT leave! And also that 1st time is like a hit to your essence isn't it? What you thought you would NEVER accept, is now common place and has taken you down to a place of not knowing what to do next! A sense of loss of self worth goes away when there is a loss of trust! You don't trust him as far as you can throw him, nor do you trust yourself to do the right thing by yourself and your son!
As a daughter of an alcoholic and also having my own struggles with addiction, all I can tell you that it is YOU who has to make a move or change! Because I promise you honey he WILL keep on and get worse! Stealing your pills and drinking SO much its just a matter of time that he will be driving drunk, or something worse will happen! He CANT be drinking that much and still be able to function normally in the day! There HAS to be alcohol in his system when he goes to work - and I would hazzard a guess he is sneaking stuff in his coffee etc! So PLEASE take some steps - and IF it means you having custody and he is NOT allowed to drink around your son then so be it! He wont change until he hits bottom! The problem is there are SO many ways of hitting bottom - including crashing a car or killing someone while drunk!!!!!
I send you a BIG hug and compassion and good luck to you and your son!
Don't go to this meeting with the teacher, get them to call your husband and have him go by himself! Addicts STOP listening to the people around them - they think they don't know anything or that they are the problem! So when a STRANGER says "Heh I know you have a dirty little secret and the gigs up buddy" It is an eye opener to them! My dad drank his face off for over 40 years, and then he was rushed in to have his gallbladder removed and then they found out he had hepatitis from his liver! So THAT is what made him stop drinking! I was and still am SO angry that he was so selfish that the only way he stopped was when HIS health was in jeopardy NOT that we had nightmares, and saw horrible things and heard screaming and saw abuse and neglect!
It is HE that needs help, but he wont get it until he needs to! You need to evaluate just how many times things are good - because when we are going through a war, we tend to over emphasize the "good times" when in fact these good times have become less and less and we hold on to them as long as we can! Your husband WILL be dead from liver disease if he continues, and his anger and rage WILL increase towards you! As a daughter of an alcoholic and an abusive one, I will tell you that your son knows and sees FAR too much already and will start ntoicing even more and start acting out! You need to get your self and your son some help! And perhaps leave for awhile!
There is one thing I know for sure - as I have been told by MANY addicts or cheaters - the very FIRST time you take it, they loose ALL respect for you! And they know that no matter how many times you say "I've had it!, I'm leaving, If you do this again etc. etc. etc." the KNOW that you don't have the "guts" to do it! Because you took it once maybe twice or twenty times and they know that you WONT leave! And also that 1st time is like a hit to your essence isn't it? What you thought you would NEVER accept, is now common place and has taken you down to a place of not knowing what to do next! A sense of loss of self worth goes away when there is a loss of trust! You don't trust him as far as you can throw him, nor do you trust yourself to do the right thing by yourself and your son!
As a daughter of an alcoholic and also having my own struggles with addiction, all I can tell you that it is YOU who has to make a move or change! Because I promise you honey he WILL keep on and get worse! Stealing your pills and drinking SO much its just a matter of time that he will be driving drunk, or something worse will happen! He CANT be drinking that much and still be able to function normally in the day! There HAS to be alcohol in his system when he goes to work - and I would hazzard a guess he is sneaking stuff in his coffee etc! So PLEASE take some steps - and IF it means you having custody and he is NOT allowed to drink around your son then so be it! He wont change until he hits bottom! The problem is there are SO many ways of hitting bottom - including crashing a car or killing someone while drunk!!!!!
I send you a BIG hug and compassion and good luck to you and your son!
Loading...
My only issue is that If I take our son and go That would hurt him (our son) he sees to much yes your right. I talk to him as much as I can about how drugs and (beer) are bad for your body. My husband is wounderful and I don't want him to think I gave up on him & taking our son away.
..................................
I want him to stop, with out hurting him more..... Is this possible..........
...................................
??????
..................................
I want him to stop, with out hurting him more..... Is this possible..........
...................................
??????
Loading...
Who is hurting RIGHT NOW!!!? Take a look in the mirror and see if you can see YOU! Without the worry or sadness! Look at your son, and see if you see worry or anger or being puzzled etc. ! Your husband might be the most wonderful person in the world honey - I'm not saying anything different - BUT his problem has started to affect your son and has been affecting you for a long time! You say that you "don't want him to think I gave up on him...." BUT hasn't he given up on himself AND the family!? Doesn't he escape fromt he family EVERY single day, every single swallow? He places the blame on you, and has started becoming nasty about it! You are walking on egg shells and DONT want to upset him! Yet you and your son are being devestated by his disease! I will tell you what I always thought about my mom "WHY didn't you walk away with us? Why were you so weak to stay and let us see ALL that we saw and experience?" I hated my mom for years for putting us through ALL of it! I loved my dad - still do - BUT the memories are horrible ones that will never go away!
You also mentioned "I want him to stop, wih out hurting him more..." You HAVE NOT hurt him! So you WONT be hurting him more! HE is hurting himself and the family and it is he that thinks it's your problem! He doesn't think twice - or does but drinking is before your feelings! So it is not you honey it is him! As I stated have the school call him to go to the school ALONE so the teachers can talk to him about what your son is demonstrating! Because you will make excuses and he wont believe you, BUT if there is no interuption of you being there then he can't turn it on you! So let him listen to the music, THEN see what he has to say! Also start talking to him about you want to leave! And stand by it! See what he says! Also know that my advice to you comes at a cost of 45 years of living in a nightmare and still to this day dealing with the aftermath of alcoholism in the family! I just feel for you so much and am trying to show you what happens with appathy! I am VERYworried about your son - as I know you both are - but sometimes parents forget to look down at the face of the person that is HEARING EVERYTHING!!! So please take stock of your life and your future and find your original strength again!
You also mentioned "I want him to stop, wih out hurting him more..." You HAVE NOT hurt him! So you WONT be hurting him more! HE is hurting himself and the family and it is he that thinks it's your problem! He doesn't think twice - or does but drinking is before your feelings! So it is not you honey it is him! As I stated have the school call him to go to the school ALONE so the teachers can talk to him about what your son is demonstrating! Because you will make excuses and he wont believe you, BUT if there is no interuption of you being there then he can't turn it on you! So let him listen to the music, THEN see what he has to say! Also start talking to him about you want to leave! And stand by it! See what he says! Also know that my advice to you comes at a cost of 45 years of living in a nightmare and still to this day dealing with the aftermath of alcoholism in the family! I just feel for you so much and am trying to show you what happens with appathy! I am VERYworried about your son - as I know you both are - but sometimes parents forget to look down at the face of the person that is HEARING EVERYTHING!!! So please take stock of your life and your future and find your original strength again!
Loading...
Damn he needs to go to ER I HAVE BEEN THERE DONE THAT THRU A MOTORCYCLE CLUB
f**k THOSE WHO WANNA TALK INSTEAD OF WALK
DO NOT WITH DRAW W OUT PROPER MEDICAL STAFF
THEY WONT JUDGE YOU ONLY ADMIRE YOUR COURAGE
Loading...
Jeez, when u find an answer, let me know. I'm in the same boat. I've told him if he wants to talk seriously with me, do it before 10 am. Only time from he's not drinking beer. From approximately getting up at 6-10. The rest is down hill. I sit and watch him pass out (which he says he's exhausted) by 6pm. I love him and would never leave, but I love the sober man which I rarely see anymore. I'm like you, the more he drinks, the worse I am. Can't do anything right. My advise is,,,, know yourself! Don't let ANYTHING he says stick. Just let it roll off ur back, as long as you know who you are,,,, nothing he says can hurt. You have to have peace within yourself. Your child sees and understands. He loves his father I'm sure, just instill values and let him know there's a better way. I hate it for you and I hate it for me, but look, there's a reason for everything.
Loading...
We don't want to see a problem. It's fixable. That means a disruption of his life. For him, the disruption is way worse than the problem. Surely it's unhealthy. But leaving your job for months isn't healthy either for your financial life. Abusers are not dumb. They just have a problem. They think about it everyday. The reality is, that many would rather have the pleasure of a daily buzz vs a long life. Everything has its trade offs. It's hard for me to dog alcoholics when a great portion of the world drinks to excess from time to time to get that same buzz that the alcoholic seeks every day.
Loading...
I drank for 15 straight years 20+ beers a night fyi I'm only 30 started when I was 15 and this sounds like me to a tee. Last month my spleen ruptured without and trauma to me I bleed over 2 pints of blood into my stomach I was going to try and sleep it off not knowing what it was I'm glad I didn't I went to the hospital and had to be cut open and remove my spleen my BP was 57 over 43 they said I almost died they told me it was from my drinking so have him get that looked at anyways I haven't drank sense then and I'm still like that maybe a little worse (but my wife is a raging b***h) not sure if it will subside soon or later I drank for years also if the anger has just kinda started and the bloody noses maybe he's doing cocaine that makes you angry and gives you nose bleeds or he's on pills the make me snap at the drop of a hat if he's like me he will need something traumatic to happen for him to quit I tell you what I love beer and always will i just know I can't drink like that anymore well good luck
Loading...
Hi if you still read this. Sorry im late on the topic. Go to the doctor and get campral it saved my life and the ones that love me.
Loading...
Excessive alcohol consumption can have serious health consequences. It's important to seek help and consider the impact it has on loved ones.
Loading...