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Hello my names Rachael I'm 21 and pregnant with my 1st child. I know that mood swings are what come with the territory, but I feel like mine are severe and if I could I would like to get a little advice on how to control them. I love my boyfriend to death and he's so excited to be a father, but I know he's tired of breaking and making up. It's not fair to him, because I feel like I'm worrying or thinking to far into the situation. Of course I'm scared and feel like I'm not ready and still a little to young, but I'm dealing and overcoming that. But I hate taking it out on him. So please any advice to help control this would be greatly appreciated.

-Rach

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Hi Rachael - it is true that you can be VERY hormonal through pregnancy - but I think in your case it is more about Regret, anger, being afraid, nervousness etc etc etc. Which can make you act irrational, you are taking ALL of these feelings out on him! And using the pregnancy as a back up - I have a question between you and I - he's not reading this so be honest! Do you REALLY love your boyfriend and are looking forward to him being in your life and raising your child for the next 18+ years? I think this is a BIG question for you to ask yourself! IF you don't know, - welcome to the club, - we ALL have doubts! Heck I've been married for 20 years and have 2 boys and I still look at my husband and think "So this is it?!!!!!" ;-) XD The difference with my question with you is even if you have doubts, do you think you both can overcome these, and for him to be what you need him to be about 70% of the time! Becaue no one is perfect - except in my marriage I'm ALWAYS right!!!! ;-) XD XD XD
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Thank you so much for that reassurance. But yes I love him dearly he's my best friend, I'm just not sure I'm IN love with him like I used to be. I can't seem to get that feeling back because I keep telling myself it's not about us anymore, its about our unborn daughter. We've already talked about if we were to ever just end it completely we would still remain friends and raise her. He's older than I and I kno I can trust his word on that subject. And it is true I feel all those feelings because I would have love to be in my late 20's so I could have been finished with school and be financially stable.
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You love him as a friend, not as a partner for life! And I kind of guessed that by your reactions with him! IF he is committed to helping you with the baby and being there for both of you, I think it is best for you to realize the limitations of this relationship! This way you wont resent him for not being ENOUGH!! Does that make sense?
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I seen him as that before I ever got pregnant. I wanted him and only him and wanted to get married. And I knew he wanted the same, and the longer i've gotten into my pregnancy the feelings have changed and I don't know why? But yes he's a wonderful friend and person, I know he wants nothing more than to be a good father. The limitations on our relationship are already in effect. We no longer have sex or do a lot of things we used to. But i'm scared that after I have her and go back to the way I used to be hormones and body shape..hehe. Thats he's gonna wanna a relationship or try and pursue it.
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To me Rachel this is about 10% hormones and 90% REAL feelings! Yes he sounds like a GREAT guy - father material - which doesn't always match with partner material! When you want a baby - just like any other female mammal - they will go after the strongest male (which I'm not talking about muscles, I'm talking about the PERFECT father for her children) as did you! Did you know that when women menstruate they can single out richer and more powerful men?!!!! It is our natural instict to get the best provider for our children! And this sounds like him!

What he doesn't sound like is MATE as in "Mating" material - as though in your mind you chose him - because you care about him but knew he would make a lovely father! BUT that innitial attraction - has grown into - "OH CRIPE!!!!!! NOW WHAT?" \i think he already realized what you are feeling - as you both have talked rationally about what will happen when you split! Even though men aren't as intune as females, they still know when something is VERY wrong! And he will be getting EVERY message that you have been giving him! He wont be shocked by this at all! That ALL being said, does NOT mean that this relationship is doomed! There are not only hormones, but feelings, worry, stress, mental and physical exhaustion, irritation - that he is not getting your key clues! Etc Etc etc.. I dont know about you, but when I was little I ALWAYS wanted kids - all my life actually - so i had imagined a million times over what it would be like! Then WHAM!!!! It happened and it was NOTHING like I had planned! My husband was not tender to me and rubbed my back and handled all the stress well! TOTAL opposite and I resented it greatly! But really can ANY man live up to our hopes and dreams?! I think not, and visa versa, I think this is why we have Homosexul Men friends - best of both worlds!!!1 ;-) XD XD
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Sorry I haven't been on in awhile. School's been racking my brain. But I did take the advice into consideration and we have decided to not worry about our relationship right now, just getting prepared for her arrival. BUT i do have another dilemma that has been bugging me fo awhile. His mom has Hep. C. she's medicated for bi polar disorder but recently has been acting irratically, for at least the past 4 months. I'm scared that maybe I may have slipped up somewhere and contracted Hep. C. I know that i'm probably over-reacting but I really want to get tested again. But i can't remember if they had done all those test at the beginning of my pregnancy. I'm 6 1/2 months now. The other things is that she had been acting really unstable, starting fights with her neighbors texting and calling me every minute she gets and continuing to smoke around me even when i've asked her numerous times to not (she was supposed to quit 6 months ago). I can't take it anymore and i've told him i'm tired of talking to her and her breaking her promises and that next week i'm going to talk to her one on one and let her know that I won't be visiting and she won't be allowed around the baby alone until she cleans up her act. I feel like this talk is necessary and the last option. I hope that this is the right idea.
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