Hi im almost 30 and embarrassed to say im still a virgin. My fear comes from the thought of pain - is this normal? Met someone last year and tried to have intercourse but I was nervous and he literally could not penetrate me and Im not sure whether this is down to my nerves or if something else could be the problem. :-(
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Fear is a powerful emotion. Fear can range any where from being afraid of the dark to being afraid of flying in an airplane, tho many call these phobias.
First time sex can be very nerve racking all by itself. If you were that scared, you probably weren't naturally lubricated which contributed to your partner being unable to make penetration.
Did you feel pain when he tried to penetrate you? An attempted and failed painful penetration could be your hymen. Some women have very thick ones, making first time intercourse difficult and some times impossible.
You could always try to experiment with yourself!! Go and buy yourself a vibrator, the rabbit ones are the best ( i think) it looks like 2 little bunny ears on the side of a rubber penis looking device and they vibrate (really fast) and you can take it in the tub. Maybe start out by watching a porn flick, see how excited you may get. It's okay and perfectly healthy, so don't be embarrassed. Maybe a glass of wine or 2 while your at it. While watching the flick, start to use your bunny, just relax and when your nice and aroused introduce the vibrator into your vaginal area. The little ears on the side jiggle so you can place them on your clitoris for some real stimulation. The pleasure should take care of your fear at this point.
Maybe give your new found partner some more time to spend with you. Get to know him a little better, basically, see what makes him tick.
After some time and experimentation, hopefully you will be good to go. If after all this and another failed attempt at sex happens, maybe you should want to speak with a sex therapist.
I hope i helped you a little bit, and never be embarrassed to talk about your sexuality, you just need a little push.
First time sex can be very nerve racking all by itself. If you were that scared, you probably weren't naturally lubricated which contributed to your partner being unable to make penetration.
Did you feel pain when he tried to penetrate you? An attempted and failed painful penetration could be your hymen. Some women have very thick ones, making first time intercourse difficult and some times impossible.
You could always try to experiment with yourself!! Go and buy yourself a vibrator, the rabbit ones are the best ( i think) it looks like 2 little bunny ears on the side of a rubber penis looking device and they vibrate (really fast) and you can take it in the tub. Maybe start out by watching a porn flick, see how excited you may get. It's okay and perfectly healthy, so don't be embarrassed. Maybe a glass of wine or 2 while your at it. While watching the flick, start to use your bunny, just relax and when your nice and aroused introduce the vibrator into your vaginal area. The little ears on the side jiggle so you can place them on your clitoris for some real stimulation. The pleasure should take care of your fear at this point.
Maybe give your new found partner some more time to spend with you. Get to know him a little better, basically, see what makes him tick.
After some time and experimentation, hopefully you will be good to go. If after all this and another failed attempt at sex happens, maybe you should want to speak with a sex therapist.
I hope i helped you a little bit, and never be embarrassed to talk about your sexuality, you just need a little push.
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