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Please HELP. I'm 35 years old an for as long as I can remember my mum and dad have been fighting always going on aboue each orthers family. When I was younger I didn't really understand but as the years gone by I realise an see for myself . DRINK/alcohol. I believe is root cause, however family on mums side are mostly alcoholics with me believing mum to be different. Always been hard working person n very kind to everyone. And for years her own family has took great advantage of this. However 8 years ago she got early retirement because of austroprosis and from then she has gradually drank more an more to date she binge drinks for sometimes 2-3 weeks on end then all the sorries, appoliges, im not doin it again bla bla bla comes out and for next week or two she doing lot better BUT we all no it's just a matter of time before she does it again any and all advice welcome thanks

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Most Alcoholic's are kind hard working people. We are good people however Alcohol makes us do bad things.  I am a recovering alcoholica nd I know how hard it is to just stop. She is probably truly sorry and doesn't mean to hurt anyone when she picks up. She just has no control over it. Maybe someone should drag her to an AA meeting in your area. I attend them as well and they have helped me so much. Have her meet other alcoholics who can share their stories with her. Than she will see she is not alone and so many of us suffer from this devasting diease. The fact that she is stopping and somewhat aware that there is a problem is a good sign. Has anyone suggested she can't control her drinking? I'm sure you guys have. Alcoholism is a fatal progession so what happens is she stops for a certain amount of time, than picks up and goes right back to how she drank the last time if not more. If you get time google Alcoholism to learn more about it. Not sure if they have al-anon near you, but that is a group for people dealing with Alcoholics. That might help you with your mum as well. I wish you and your family the best. Again I know how hard it is.
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Health Ace
6880 posts

After 35 years of that fighting they may enjoy it so much as part of their relationship no one will be able to get them to stop.

I think the suggestion that you join Al-Anon is a very good one as you probably can't change what they do so you need to learn how to deal with it for your own sanity.

If they ARE alcoholics they are not going to stop until THEY are ready and they probably won't take kindly to any suggestions about joining one of Bill's groups, so be careful if you decide to bring that up.

I spent a few years of my life as a professional drinker and I quit when I saw the light. It was blue and flashing. I considered that to be strike one and I had no intention of trying for a strike out. I spent my life serving the public and never missed a day at work and I was considered to be the best in the area in my line of work. However I have known many alkys who were nothing but lazy deadbeats so I think alcoholism simply afflicts a cross section of society.

I never even thought about AA but I know it helps a lot of people and is a well respected organization. Often times judges will make AA attendance a condition of sentencing. I also know many people who have absolutely no use for it what so ever. My son joined AA when he came home from the army and he is still sober after 20 years. For a while I did feel that he had simply substituted one addiction with another. He would go nuts looking for a meeting to go to at times and it looked like he was addicted to meetings.

I quit 30 years ago last October so most of the people I meet now have no knowledge about my previous drinking. The ones who do know are so proud of me they never mention it to anyone which is funny because I quit smoking 30 years ago this past April and they like to mention that.

It is possible to quit and life afterward is much less stressful. I'm never worried about the flashing blue lights anymore when I'm driving or how I'm going to avoid them getting home from a party.

I want to wish you success in dealing with this and to tell you NOT to take this on as your own load. It's not your fault.

 

 

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