After 35 years of that fighting they may enjoy it so much as part of their relationship no one will be able to get them to stop.
I think the suggestion that you join Al-Anon is a very good one as you probably can't change what they do so you need to learn how to deal with it for your own sanity.
If they ARE alcoholics they are not going to stop until THEY are ready and they probably won't take kindly to any suggestions about joining one of Bill's groups, so be careful if you decide to bring that up.
I spent a few years of my life as a professional drinker and I quit when I saw the light. It was blue and flashing. I considered that to be strike one and I had no intention of trying for a strike out. I spent my life serving the public and never missed a day at work and I was considered to be the best in the area in my line of work. However I have known many alkys who were nothing but lazy deadbeats so I think alcoholism simply afflicts a cross section of society.
I never even thought about AA but I know it helps a lot of people and is a well respected organization. Often times judges will make AA attendance a condition of sentencing. I also know many people who have absolutely no use for it what so ever. My son joined AA when he came home from the army and he is still sober after 20 years. For a while I did feel that he had simply substituted one addiction with another. He would go nuts looking for a meeting to go to at times and it looked like he was addicted to meetings.
I quit 30 years ago last October so most of the people I meet now have no knowledge about my previous drinking. The ones who do know are so proud of me they never mention it to anyone which is funny because I quit smoking 30 years ago this past April and they like to mention that.
It is possible to quit and life afterward is much less stressful. I'm never worried about the flashing blue lights anymore when I'm driving or how I'm going to avoid them getting home from a party.
I want to wish you success in dealing with this and to tell you NOT to take this on as your own load. It's not your fault.