i have an uncle whos addicted to prescription pills (seroquel, clonazepam((valium), etc) and is also a alcoholic and has been for um, at least 25 years now. i actually lived with him for a couple of years during my teenage years, i feel you. have known many alcoholics.
i myself know what its like to be a mother to your own mother.
you're dealing with a burden thaT at your age should'nt have to, by what im reading, i can see you are a strong girl. i commend you for your wisdom and courage truly.
when i was a child (6-10yr old), i had a friend of the same age who's mother was an alcoholic. i was over at their house a lot. his mother was always passed out on the couch or crying on the ground with her dogs in her arms. we went to a outdoor concert once and she left without us leaving to come back alone at midnight walking 3 kilometers (about 4.5 miles). eventually my friend was going to his grandmother on weekends. my friends grandmother asked the mother to stop drinking , or she would alert social services. my friend's mother did not stop drinking , and finally the grandmother took full custody of her grandson wiithout alerting social services, with consent of the mother (i tihnk she didnt want social services involved) .
i dont know where you live menla, the laws concerning child protection differ from country to country , but i live in canada.
do you have relatives? is any there anybody in your family that would be willing to attend to your needs? there is also the foster home option, those are your choices. do you know any people you can talk to? talking helps see things, perspectives clearly.
your options are :
-asking relatives ;
- calling child protective services ( they will surely try to find some relative who is willing to take care of you, if there is not, they will put in a foster home/foster centre (in canada))
- talk to someone you trust.
your mother has put you in dangerous deadly situations too many times menla.
it is not because of you at all, and not because she doesnt love you, your mother as my mother (cocaine addict- binge eater-gambler) are very sick people.
the sickness? its called alcoholism, addiction - substance abuse. alcohol becomes the most important and/or only priority of the sick, addiction-filled person. only she can decide to get help. meanwhile , dont wait until the house burns down in your sleep menla. you know what im talking about.
she is unpredictable.
regards, and mostly take care menla. only you can help(love) yourself.
Child Protective Services get involved in someone's family (i know, because i have been in juvenile hall) (my principal called CPS when i was 12 because i wasnt attending school like i was supposed to, i was depressed though and couldnt concentrate and hated school for that) when the Integrity and Well-Being of a child are compromised, not being attended to.
im sure its pretty much the same in other industrialized countries. (UK, US, Australia, etc.)
i wish you good luck, and take time to think about your options. dont take a decision right now if you are too emotional, because it might not be rational.
regards, take care.