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My mom has been drinking for about six years now. She'll drink every day after work until she goes to bed. It's usually wine, even though occasionally she'll have Coke and rum.

I can understand a cup of wine to calm down maybe at night, but at 4 in the afternoon? And half a bottle or more?

It's not so much the drinking that bothers me (although the money could be put to good use, such as vet visits for the pets), but how she acts. She gets angry and sometimes violent. She'll yell and stomp and slam around the house, often calling me names and insulting me. If I ask her something, she slurs her words and answers me either stupidly or angrily and gets mad at me. Her teeth are stained purple, her eyes are droopy and red, and there's a near-empty wine bottle on her nightstand.

I've tried confronting her about it before, but she either makes empty promises (when sober) or gets violent and angry (when inebriated).

It's annoying, because no one else really knows about it besides my boyfriend (who hates her because of this), since no one but him is ever around. I think my dad knows, and I told my therapist, but no one confronts her, and I give up. It makes me feel really sad and angry...

I just want my real mom back...

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Alcoholism is a really difficult subject, especially when a family member is involved. I am really sorry to hear that you have to live with this issue with your mom. I hope your boyfriend isn't too resentful because it truly is a disease. It is hard to understand what it is like unless you have now, or have had in the past, a chemical dependance. I myself cannot even relate to the difficulty that your mother faces in her alcoholism. I know this may sound hard or unhelpful, but try to be patient. She needs to know that someone cares and loves her, even though her addiction is hurting you. I have found that those who are afflicted with additions have to be ready to stop in their own hearts (not empty promises to appease you when she is sober. I mean real commitment to getting better.) Keep talking to her. And talking to her. Annnnd talking to her. Eventually it WILL sink in that this is not a small problem and that this is really affecting you. If you have told your therapist that she is getting violent and they have not reported it, they may be breaking the law. Even if she doesn't hit you, per say, the fact that she does get violent should be throwing up red flags that they need to have shecked out. I am actually very confused that they have not yet called the proper authorities to check the situation out and to make sure she is not being unsafe. I'm not sure of your age, but I am very concerned. I was fortunate enough that neither of my parents have had alcohol problems but my sister has and it is an ongoing stuggle. Her son is young enough that he won't remeber any of her outbursts, but she is trying to get help. She was impossible to reach through to until SHE was ready. Now she has been dry for 2 months and we couldn't be more proud. I sincerely hope your mom sees the pain she is causing you and that she will open her eyes to her addiciton. I will pray for you and your family.

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I know what it's like to have an alcoholic parent. Both my parents are alcoholics, and my father was (and probably still is) extremely abusive both emotionally and physically. If you need a chat feel free to private message me.
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I grew up with alcoholic parents, it's rough, but you're not alone. There are many of us out here, I not only came from that type of home but married ( later divorced ) one. This is a DISEASE, and I heard so many promises I lost count. Your BF needs to understand that this hate is not helping you.
As for your dad, sounds like he may be in denial, he knows but just is hard to accept and admit it to himself. There is a group for family of Alcoholics. If you call AA ask them what group it is ( its been so long since I went to one sorry ). I think your looking for an intervention, its not a bad idea, but I don't know how this happens.(sorry).

Quitting Alcohol is very possible, my ex was busted driving while intoxicated. some 3000 dollars later that paid court and counseling, he did stay sober for 8-9 years. Life changed for us but it was a rough ride to get to that point.
I wished his so-called friends would have left him be, because they were always giving him a hard time for not drinking, That legal issue was his hitting bottom, trust me it was rough, my story ended in divorce because he went back and life was hard on my kids..I chose my kids.
I did go to therapy as well about my home life, I never really had a relationship with my mother, she was abusiive and I walked alway after too much. but that was me... I really really wish you the best,...your not alone.
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Respectfully, as you said this is a DISEASE, but I grew up in an Alcoholic home, Talking to them in their sober moments can help but this young one seems to have an absentee father who probably is in denial or refuses to deal with the reality.
Loving support isn't going to get that woman into a program, sometimes its the tough love that does.
I'm not saying anything you said is wrong, And I also wonder why this young person hasn't had someone intervene for her, unless they are of legal age.... You are so fortunate to never have been raised in this life, the fact that PTSD is part of it's legacy is real..and lifelong. I really for the sake of all the family this mother sets aside the poison for her child(ren). and a healthier life... It just frustrates the heck out of me to see another one living like this..... Thanks...
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I agree that tough love can also be the best answer. Every person is at different levels in their addiction which is why it can be so hard to find the right answer. I, too, wonder why no one has intervened. Especially the therapist!!!
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I think many people overlook genetics as a key in addiction. There are some people who, genetically, are more susceptible to becoming addicted than others. I have many family members who easily became addicted to different things and I think genetics had something to do with it. It's not the only reason but I think it did push the addiction along.Do you think you might need help with alcohol or drugs, we are pet friendly drug rehab.Good Future Rehab Center

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