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symptoms: age 14, getting worse quick

I am always sad, cry easily, CONSTANT suicidal thoughts and of killing, feeling of wothlessness = depression
I have the shortest fuse, no patience, SEVERE and intense mood swings, VERY aggressive= anger
i am very self centered and selfish EXCEPT when it comes to my two younger sisters and mother. = protective
I am a cutter, recovered alcoholic, off drugs now sort of, smoke cigs = ??
I've had hooorrrrible relationships. love triangles, unfaithfulness, dishonesty, parents rough divorce=??


I am not afraid to be alone but i prefer it. i cant be around too many people i will explode at them.
i am very nervous, anxious, parinoid, second guess myself and have no appetite have lost weight.

i am aslo a hypochondriac so im always looking up my own symptoms
ive found: borderline personality disorder, chronic depression, ect.

Been to the doctor, he prescribed citalopram 10mg = WEAK! I stopped taking it.
im being referred to a psychologist and also seeing my cardiologist.

please tell me either this is normal, well i wont believe you so dont tell me that. help me diagnose
myself before i get some c**p answers and meds from all these doctors that wont listen!!



You're not crazy, you just need to calm down and talk to someone. With the right kind of medication, you can easily over come this problem. Maybe get a second opinion if you feel the previous treatment was too weak. The most important thing to do is talk to your doctor and tell them every thing. If a doctor wont help, seek a counceller. Being referred is okay too, at least you are a priority and are being seen to. Do keep us updated on how you are getting on