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Hi. I am 40 years old woman. I have always been fat. I have tried many different products to lose some weight. Nothing really works. Now I have started to purge myself after every meal. I just put a finger in my mouth and when I`m finished I feel a lot better. Like I didn`t eat a thing. How normal is this?! A friend of mine told me I have bulimia. I feel like I am too old for this. I am 40 years old, after all (41 in May) Am I too old for this?

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Hi. Bulimia usually affects young women, but there is no right age for bulimia to develop. Even men can suffer from bulimia. No, I don`t think you can be too old for bulimia, or any kind of an eating disorder. The cause of bulimia is still unknown. However, it is known that bulimia hits usually girls in western world countries, especially dancers and models. I suffer from bulimia. I feel like it is all in my head, but when start eating I can`t stop myself. I think I`ll seek professional help. I don`t think I can handle it by myself. My family has been very supportive so far, but I need more help.
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I began losing weight several years ago when I was 34 the "right way" (reduced portions and exercise) and after losing around 40 pounds, I began to slide in my eating habits. I could see that I was in danger of gaining my weight back. So, I got in a habit of purging when I was "bad". My intentions were just to purge when I had the occasional night out and ate too much, but it went from the occasional purge to a daily thing, several times a day. It was just so easy to do and I didn't have to worry about willpower anymore! Then, I told myself I'd just do it until I reached my goal. Well, I ended up losing over 100 pounds and I looked better than I had in years. (I wasn't underweight. I stayed at around 135 - 140 and 5'4".)

Did I stop binging and purging? Of course not. It was at that point that I finally realized I was addicted. I kept my weight off for several years this way. Everybody was so proud of me as they didn't have a clue what I was doing, but I could never totally feel proud of myself. I felt out-of-control and totally powerless to stop myself. But, the alternative was being overweight. I decided being bulemic was a better alternative to being morbidly obese.

Some people began to suspect what I was doing. It was especially difficult to keep it from my husband, but our schedules were so different that I could do my thing when he wasn't even home. When you are that addicted to something, you become very deceitful and skilled at hiding things.

Anyway, this all came to an end when I became PREGNANT 2 years ago. (Surprise, surprise!) I wasn't going to continue doing something that I was sure would hurt my baby. It was hard, though. To be honest, I did purge a few times when I was pregnant. (I told myself that pregnant woman throw up, after all, so how could it really hurt my child?) But, I really only purged a handful of times. I still can't believe I did that and I look at my child and am so thankful that he came out okay!

I gained back alot of my weight when I was pregnant, and after I had my son, I went through many financial hardships and problems. (My husband lost his job, we had a huge IRS bill that was unexpected, household problems that had to be fixed somehow, and finally, we lost our house and had our vehicle reposed...It all just piled up dramatically.) I turned to food for comfort and I was not purging anymore. Binging? Hell, yes. But, not purging.

Sooooooo...I'm larger than I've ever been in my life!! I don't even know my weight right now as I won't step on the scales, but I figure I'm around 250, if not more. Just 2 years ago, I was a *size 6*. It's hard to believe.

In just the past few weeks, I've started purging again. I'm 40, about to turn 41, and here I am, BULEMIC, like a teenager, except I am old enough to know better. I probably would have started purging again before now, but I went through a depression and told myself I didn't care how I looked. (Sigh.) Yes, I do. And, I know this works. It's hard because my husband's schedule lines up too much with mine now and we are in a smaller house with only one bathroom. (Before, I had a bathroom that was very private.) He probably suspects what I'm doing, but he's not saying anything. Hell, maybe he's known all along but just wants a thin wife again.

Honestly, I feel foolish doing this. I'm too old for this. And, I don't want my son to find out what his Mommy is doing. Signs I should stop keep being thrust in front of me, but I try to ignore it. I've been very meticulous to keep my teeth as clean as possible after every purge, but it's catching up to me. In a few weeks, I have to have my tooth surgically extracted. It previously had a root canal but has "deteriorated" to the point that it just has to come out. I'm not that concerned about the tooth, but I'm more concerned that the dentist will look in my mouth, stop what he's doing, and ask me accusingly, "Are you a bulemic?"

Anyway, this was way more than I meant to say. I really only meant to say that you are not alone. I, too, am of the older generation and I'm addicted to bulemia. If you are not addicted already, trust me. It isn't really worth it. Even if you lose the weight, it is an empty victory, and you still won't be able to stop. You really should try to focus on other ways to keep your weight down.
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How is the woman who posted her comments on January 9th doing? The one who gained back her weight after her pregnancy and enormous stress hardships? What is she doing for help? I feel her pain tremendously and would really like to see her begin a path of renewal and success.
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