Couldn't find what you looking for?

TRY OUR SEARCH!


I’d like to hear from someone overweight and bulimic here. I’ve been through all that and now I am almost recovered. My health was completely ruined, it took almost a year and a constant work of my physician, dentist, nutritionist and psychiatrist for me to get better and repair (most of) the damage my stupid and irresponsible behaviour caused. So if there is anyone there with bulimia and too much kilos, write - it means that you acknowledge your problem and that you are willing to cooperate in your salvation.

Loading...


I’m 30 and I had the same problem. I had 90 kg (only 168 cm high) and my mother convinced me to visit a specialist and seek help. I used to eat enormously big amounts of food, all kinds of food, usually junk food, but also proper meals my mother prepared. It all started when I was 26, I just finished my college and tried to get a job, but I was constantly turned down, I didn’t have enough money, and my boyfriend left me. All this moved the avalanche of self - criticism, impression of worthlessness and misery of life, I was so depressed that I couldn’t leave the house. Normally, I started putting on some weight and couldn’t cope with that, so I started eating even more. No food was bad enough for me, there was no time when I wouldn’t eat, I started suffering from insomnia and eating during the night... There was no way out - for about four month I gained 10 kg. And then I decided to try out vomiting. After one particularly abundant meal I went to the bathroom, took my toothbrush and initiate vomiting. Very soon I became skillful and able to cause vomiting any time I wanted. The cycle of binge eating and vomiting continued and after a year of such behaviour I gained 24 kg and reached 90 kg. I completely lost control, wanted to punish myself for overeating, felt guilt and regret, but the only reaction was to cause some more vomiting. When my mother came to visit me she couldn’t believe. She managed to talk me into going to the doctor and then he explained the nature of my problem - bulimia and overeating. I managed to seriously hurt my throat, develop irritable bowels syndrome, lose much of my hair and get diabetes and high blood pressure. The recovery was long and slow, I lost my hope and wanted to quit all and just surrender. But my mother was there for me, she supported me and was very helpful. For my 29th birthday I had 71 kg and could treat myself with a big portion of ice-cream without vomiting and feeling guilty after it.
Reply

Loading...

being overweight is shameful, but being overweight and bulimic means that i am trying to do something about it. being bulimic makes my weight problem not as embarassing
Reply

Loading...

I know what you mean by saying it makes it not as shameful, but it's a wrong thought. I'm overweight, and I struggle with bulimia, and it almost feels like I should be. Even though I haven't vomited in a long time, I still really want to change my weight, and it hurts A LOT. Sometimes when I'm hungry and my stomach growls, I feel happy because it makes me feel less fat. I know the only way to truly lose weight is the healthy way, but when I fail I just feel like going back to the toilet. I KNOW how to eat, I KNOW I need to exercise, and I KNOW that I'm overweight, but it's still overwhelmingly hard to do it the healthy way and abstain from overeating. I don't know...I feel like I'm in a hole that I can never climb out of, that I'll never reach my goal or not be "obsese" or "overweight" or a fatass. It's hard to get over it, but I just want to try and change my weight, and for once feel happy. Yeah yeah, I know I have to accept myself, but it's really hard when I feel like this is the way I should feel about myself. HELP!!! I just need some support, and hopefully I can control my eating habits...
THE END
Reply

Loading...

[I can agree with both ladies. I don't really feel too comfortable talking right now... but I see myself in you. Thanks!!!
Reply

Loading...

I have been in recovery from anorexia/bulimia for 4 years. Primarily it was bulimia from abuse of laxatives. I was overweight when I started my eating disorder and I know how you feel, it's very uncomfortable to stop purging. It's really hard to lose the weight the healthy way when you are so used to the quick fix side of weight loss. I can tell you that getting mad at my triggers really helped me. I decided I was trying to be thin for all of the wrong reasons. Then I decided I wanted to be healthy instead of feel sick all of the time. Then I decided it was unattractive to be on the toilet all the time (especially when my boyfriend said it was gross). It was the hardest thing making the lifestyle changes I made. I can tell you that once you do, you'll stop caring about the things that used to bother you with your weight as much. The triggers that used to bother you wont bother you as much and life will sort of come together.

Things that helped me were:
Eating less fried foods (I used to be a big fried food junkie) and eating more vegetables and fruits and healthy carbs and meats.
Buying expensive makeup. Yah -- it sounds ridiculously silly, but it helped. I felt good when I put it on and I found the makeup that best suited my face. It took me a while to find what I liked, but when I did, I felt comfortable in it.
Buying clothes that were a little oversized, but not too oversized. So that I felt comfortable on my days when I felt UNCOMFORTABLE in my own skin.
Drinking lots of water (This was hard because it made me feel bloated, but if you stop caring what people think, and get used to it, it will eventually help you in the long run.)

After all, who are you trying to impress anyways? If someone is going to like you, they will like you for you. Thats what I had to tell myself. So I made this lifestyle change be a mental test to all of my friends. And you know what? They are still my friends and they say they like me better now than they did before.

I really commend you guys on trying to get help. I know how hard it is. Overcoming bulimia is one of the hardest obstacles in life I have ever had to face. I really do wish you well on your journey towards recovery.
Reply

Loading...

I have noticed that there are a lot of you on here that are in recovery and have found help. I have been searching and going back in forth with therapist and Doctors, but no one will take my insurance. I have been Bulimic for almost 15 years on and off and I am only 27. I need help and I was wondering if any of you had any suggestion on what I can do PLEASE! thank you very much and hope to hear from someone soon. I feel so hopeless and misunderstood. :(
Reply

Loading...

heya,

it's been a year out since I last posted here..

I got an email that I had been watching this post. I hope you are okay.

I just wanted to give you a site that is all about recovery for eating disorders and will be able to better help you.

www.something-fishy.org/

they have a large support group there and might can help with the insurance problem.
Reply

Loading...

ive been bulimic for about 3 years now and im always trying to recover. i dont know how to begin without professional help, which i am not willing to get
Reply

Loading...

I am 15 years old, and I am bulimic, I am overweight, but I am definetly trying to do something about it. I weigh 183 at the moment, but I was 204, so I've lost a total of 21 pounds so far. Since June 20th. I am not losing the weight fast enough with just regular cutting back calories and some exercise, so I am throwing up on top of that.
It used to be just once or twice a week, now i'm doing it 4-5 times a week. And sometimes twice in a day. I just feel unable to control my eating, and with bulimia, I can eat whatever the hell I want, and then throw it up. :-)
The thing I am worried about is my teeth, they are fine now, but i dont want them to rot. I chew antacids after throwing up so that it counteracts the stomach acid from purging.
At first I wasnt "addicted" to it, but now mostly after I eat, I feel the urge to throw it up. Mostly after I eat sweets.
xx
wednesday
Reply

Loading...

I am 36 years old. I am overweight where I was always underwent and until 13 years ago everyone thought I was anorexic but I wasnt. Lately I have become bulimic and thought it was just me who knew because I'm fat but my doctor started getting after me thinking I am. I told her oh no... I'm fine. The thing is that seeing a lot of food makes me gag. If I eat sweets it is almost an instant reaction for my body to want to throw up. I can go a day without eating but then the next day be hungry and eat normal amount of food - but my body wants to reject it. Sometimes I just try my hardest to stop the urge to purge. I have learned how to ignore my body sometimes when it is hungry because it bothers me that my stomach growls yet I dont want to eat. I know this is why I cant lose weight but the thought of eating three meals a day without throwing up does not seem possible. I'm not a muncher, I have too much to do in my day to snack. So... not sure how to change this stupid fat cycle.
Reply

Loading...

hi everone my namei s roxy and i use to always be skinny but then i got prego! i went from a size 3 into a size 14 so i went from 130 to 185, my husband told me to wait a year then i can say im fat its going on to years now and im still at 185. what should i do im only 22 years old and i eat really good help me!!!!
Reply

Loading...

I am 32 an I have had issues since I was about 9. I don't know it could have been that I was hit by a car at five and while I was in the hospital I had lost so much weight from the ordeal. I weighed 35 lbs with a full leg cast on by the time I left the hospital. So that scared my family so bad they never wanted me to be that small again. So they overfed me allot. Then by the age of 9 something bad happened to me that should never happen to children so I took comfort in food. So as you can guess I was an overweight adolescent and teased allot in school and never happy. Then when I moved in with my dad at 13 my Step-mother harped on my weight like you won't believe which as we all know doesn't fix the problem it only makes you feel lower about it. I started sleeping all day and waking up at night a binging. Then after about a year of this I felt so lost like the only way for approval was to please her by losing weight so I started eating just lettuce and tomato salad and jumping on a small trampoline for hours on end. She was so pleased by this that she started rewarding me with cute clothes for every so many pounds that I lost. By the time this phase was over I was 135 lbs and had an ego as big as I was small.
I was 14 and had all the boys falling over each other for me the high and adoration was so intoxicating. But it was no lasting I went to a party and got taken advantage of and ended up pregnant. Well my family flipped told me it was just as much my fault as is was his and it takes two to tango. I said although the conception wasn't my choice the baby was and I decided she was half of my soul . I wanted her I wanted to be everything to her and so all that was left was the pregnancy for an anorexic. Well someone told me that I was allowed to eat and that the baby was using that food. And that I was eating for two which is one of the worst things you can tell a starving teenager that has just gone through another sexual injustice and wants nothing more than to go back into that inner shell and not be appealing anymore needless to say I went from 135 to 200 during that pregnancy and then at the age of 15 gave birth to a 9'11oz girl and had 55 lbs that wasn’t baby to live with which was fine at first cause I had this beautiful baby girl to take my time and attention from me and my body issues.
It wasn't till my very good childhood friend came over and told me that she had been going to therapy for an issue she was having she was referring to bulimia. She and I sat and talked and I comforted her. Meanwhile how was I to know that every word she was telling me about throwing up within 15 to 30 min after eating and about taking laxatives to lose weight were all drifting in my ear and taking root in the back of my brain. Within the year I tried throwing up for the first time and it wasn't the easiest thing I ever did so I tried laxatives and they seemed allot simpler at my worst I was up to a box of pills a day and weak pale and miserable till the weight started coming off. But then my mom found a large amount of empty boxes hidden under the bottom drawer of my dresser and freaked out. So inevitably I gave up laxatives and moved to just purging.
By the time I was between 16 and 17 I was looking good again I decided to trust the opposite sex again and started dating again slowly and very cautiously. After meeting a few good guys and a few that I didn't like but I at least had the power to reject. I was feeling pretty comfortable with myself and life. I had a pretty good job where I met my ex-husband who in the beginning was nice and romantic, strong, smart, and caring and patient and liked my daughter and seemed to truly want to protect and care for us. However as we evolved into our relationship I discovered a few things I misunderstood. He was only these things when he was getting what he wanted and it was all under this umbrella of control and power and head games. He found out I was throwing up once and got so upset with me but then out of the other side of his mouth would tell me that if I ever gained ten pounds he would leave me. I literally split into two people the perfect wife and person who had everything under control and the other person the one who is nervous all the time and blames most personal problems on my physical size and fitness. And the one that never sees what everyone says but agrees anyway just because they would never see or understand what I see in me.
I got pregnant with my husband and I promised myself that this time I was never going to let go of myself the way I did before. But I wasn't going to be stupid either by this point I was in nursing so I had a good understanding of what I needed to do to meet the requirements to maintain a healthy pregnancy. So that’s what I did I ate just what I needed and drank plenty of juices. Meanwhile my husband wouldn't even touch my pregnant stomach cause he said that it was like there was an alien in there. So I felt very isolated and alone and that every pound I was gaining was disgusting. Well every now and then when you spit in the face of something our creator has done for you he tests you and he tested me. Cause I gave birth to my daughter 3 mos. early but it wasn't cause of my disorder it was cause my water broke prematurely and they just couldn't keep her in but or a couple days. This was the worst time of my whole life for three month hanging on prayer and hopIng that your baby will be strong enough to make it. Being completely helpless to the situation all you can do is stay by her and hold her or put your hand on her in the incubator.
During this time my family and husband were very much withheld I think they thought if they got to close to her and she didn’t make it that they would rather stay unattached. Well she did make it and she is going on ten now and aside from her cerebral palsy she is a very normal child. For a while after she was born the crisis that was our life drew us together but eventually that wore of and the abuse of the relationship was becoming too much to take for a then 23 yr old woman. So we separated and I stopped nursing to do exotic dancing to pay the bills for my household that was now missing a half of our income and it was good money and it fed my body ego addiction. So it seemed that everything was again on the surface ok. I had a life that happened to support my illness and was safe inside my bubble. I then met my someone who was so vastly different than anyone I had ever been with before. This person and I became good friends first and the after months of wooing won my heart and soul and I knew, knew without a doubt this was the one we have been together for about eight years now. And she never puts me down about my weight and for the first time in my whole life I was happy enough to let go and just be sounds impossible right. Well it does happen but my only problem is it only happens up to a point. Then I start freaking myself out again I am now up to 190 lbs and she says she loves me and I’m worrying about nothing. So how come I can’t let it go how come every argument we have one of the first thoughts in my head is. When I was 144 like when we met and she was so enamored with me she couldn’t talk if, I was 144 we wouldn’t even be having this discussion. Or the thoughts that the whole world looks at me as a disgusting beast and they’re first thought is not to smile at me but to turn they’re head and say something snide to they’re friend.
I never truly stopped purging but yet the results over the year diminish more and more now I throw up most everything I eat and I lose nothing. I just stay the same its unbearable. I am an active person I’m even in a gym class and do group work out which by the way am treated like the fat girl in school in again but it’s for college credits so I just can’t quit. I don’t know I try so hard well that should be my motto “Push” cause it feels like my whole life has been pushed I’m just so tired I just wanted to look normal and live why does it have to be so hard.
Reply

Loading...

Hi i would like to say that i am 32 years of age i too have an overweight and bulimic situation for many years of my schooling from the time i was in year 2 i had children that would call me names every day. This was hurtful to a child of such young age. As the years went on through out my schooling there happened to be more and more children who also picked on me. This made me very depressed and unhappy. I was forever the happy and bubbly child. As entering the 1st year of high school i found myself that embarressed and upset that i would go and sit the toilets for any meals through out my day at school, i would toss my lunch in the bin. Then i started to think of maybe i could eat my lunch and go get rid off it just puke it up and let flush on by down the loo. It sounded like such a good idea to do so at the time. As the years went on things seemed to of gotten out of control nothing was going right for me. Here i was 17 years of age 120kgs and out of school. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW??? Is to what i was thinking to myself. I too have the damage running through my body from so many years off being bulimic. I think to myself on many different occassions that i put myself into this situation, so i should be able to get out of it. Easier said than done. Please parents listen to your children be there for them. Because i was to scared to talk to mine. Thankyou
Reply

Loading...

:-) well this is the first day i thrown up.. and going to start throwing up daily im 17years old 5'5 and weight 176 and over weight and going to be belimic. i didnt feel guilty i felt better and good i just want to lose weight and then ill stop throwing up , hopefully it works for me for atleast 1month. theres no danger in that i want to exercise and eat n throw up, but i only gain weight from my stomach so im tired of that and i just went threw depression and anything you can think of and bulimic made me feel better like throwing up stress rather then food so im enjoying this im going to stop in a month so wish me luck!!!! =)
Reply

Loading...