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I felt ashamed that I had these thoughts, but maybe I shouldn't? I'm afraid mine are probably the scariest, dumbest, laugh at me questions being asked on this board. And sorry for so many, maybe way too many questions for one post...

I'm 20 and I'm a virgin; as a Christian I really intend to wait until marriage and I think I will treasure having done that. My urges have driven me crazy. It got to the point where one time I had to look at a lot of bad porn for a long period of time to relieve myself, and since then I guess I'm a little better. I've been trying to masturbate a lot, but I'm sure I'm doing it completely wrong...

I can't feel any good physical sensation at all, the inside (I guess the labia?) hangs down and is really, maybe hideously, loose (and I'm hearing that others are self-conscious about theirs too--that scares me) and I can't find my clitoris at all! The first few times I tried some things, I bled...I mean...it seemed like A LOT. Is there something wrong with me physically? Could shaving have something to do with it?
I think I'd be afraid to talk to a genochologist about these things.

Is it normal and okay to break your hymen while masturbating? I think I probably have and it almost makes me feel like I'm not a virgin anymore...I don't like the feeling.

Do some people have to masturbate to keep healthy and "sane" I guess? How many girls my age masturbate? I feel so dirty and anxious (it might have something to do with my emotional problems.) Are there girls like me who try probably ridiculous things in a desperate attempt to masturbate?

I used to want my sex drive, but now I'd be so happy if I just didn't have it at all. My urges make me so uncomfortable. And are there any girls who are very intent on waiting until marriage and fail, going insane trying to resist?

How many girls my age look at porn--and the WORST stuff? (I am heterosexual by the way--and I even look at females so I feel like a sick person and self-conscious.) I'm trying to stop, because I feel like I might be getting addicted, but I only look because I feel like I need to. I'm really afraid that my future husband will judge me for this.

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babe, be more gentle!

you're bombarding yourself with the wrong stimuli. porn is often violent and emotioanlly void. while i appriciate that masturbation is a 'alone' type activity, you still have to be in the right state of mind.

You do not need to 'find' your clit. it's tucked away for a reason...it's sensitive. If you look at your pubic mound, where the hair grows, just where your outer vaginal lips begin you'll see a kind of hood of skin. This hood of skin is protecting a pea sized do-dah which is your clitoris.

i'm going to suggest a different technique that involves hardly any penetration and is a bit more gentle.

lie on your stomach with you hands underneath you (this may seem awkward but your weigh behind your hands will heighten sensation...if it's too much lie on your back instead) Place you mount of venus, (the bit on the palm of your hand where your fingers end) over the clitoral hood and your middle finger/s just inside the vaginal opening.

as you rub rhythmiclay with your palm, find a fitting but perhaps faster movement with the tip/s of our finger/s. You are not going way deep inside, just giving alternate sensations.

repeat as necessary (lol) and you'll get a clitoral orgasm.
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salgal: I won't blame ya... I'm a 21 year old girl who has been trying to fight off my sexual desires since I was 15. Alas, I couldn't help it, and I know I'm of legal age now...but the thought scares me... I gotta thank nicci, I almost got scared cause I thought something was wrong with my clitoris.

I know my post is like way late, but I just registered due to what I've done recently.
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I too am a Christian and I don't believe God gave us this wonderful drive so that we should make ourselves miserable by denying it.
He surely didn't intend for us to feel guilty for liking a pleasure that He gave us.
Guilt and shame are man made at the very least and most likely of the Devil.
He didn't make the female body so attractive and desirable to men and vice versa, because he wanted us to hide from each other.
I am certain He wants us to enjoy pleasing each other as much as we want.
Part of that begins with learning how to please yourself so you can show your lover what pleases you.

I hope this helps.
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I think that you are totally right on about that and I think that it's great that you're a CHristian with such a progressive attitude towards sex. You can tell me if it's none of my business but what church of Christianity do you subscribe to? If you don't wanna tell me, that is okay. Thank you!
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Hi Bluedog,

I was brought up Methodist and still belong to the local church. My wife didn't belong to any church when we met and she joined mine.
It seems kind of funny that I should be Methodist as I think they were the consumate traveling bible thumpers of the old west stories.

I have sort of developed my own version though. I disagree with a lot of the stuff they want us to believe because it's not reasonable to believe many things that are very contradictory of the idea of a loving God. Who wrote all that stuff anyway. It had to be some man because I've never seen God with a pen in hand. Can you imagine what a treasure even a scrap of parchment with God's own handwriting on it would be?

Everything they preach is someones interpretation of what someone else thought God wants us to be/do. Why isn't mine just as valid?
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I know this is a really late reply, but I just ran across this topic, so I hope no one minds! 

I didn't lose my virginity until 22. But I've been masturbating ever since I was 13 or so (that's when I had my first orgasm). Have you ever had an orgasm? I think that a lot of your difficulties with this are due to, like you said, issues with shame and fear surrounding masturbating. I'm not going to make any negative comments about religion and sexuality, because I myself was very religious at one point and was dedicated to saving myself for marriage. But now, I've learned that God WANTS us to enjoy our bodies! There should be absolutely no shame in masturbation! (-or, in my opinion, sex outside of marriage with a committed partner. But of course that's your choice!) 

I highly  doubt you will become "addicted" to masturbating. What is "addicted" anyway? Some people masturbate every single day and it's normal. I think your body just needs that release of tension so bad right now, and it's not getting it, so it's sending you these intense urges. And that's ok! Just stop putting so much emphasis on it (through the form of worrisome thoughts).

As for looking at other girls as a heterosexual, that is COMPLETELY NORMAL too. I'm also heterosexual, but that doesn't mean I can recognize beauty in another female! 

Not sure what else to say but hope I helped - if you're still around you should give us an update! ;)
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First of all, yeah for you!  Too many women want to 'fit' in and be "normal" and give in to sexual desires. Although I have never been actively religeous, I beleive there is nothing better than sharing that first moment with the man of your dreams. 

As for the rest, men are more physical-sexual and women and more mental-sexual (if that makes sense).  If you are berating yourself internally-feeling dirty and guilty over seeking pleasure for yourself, it is going to be forever difficult for you to have any kind of satisfying organsms.  I know it is difficult, but try to let go of those feelings of guilt!  There is nothing wrong with masterbation and pleasure.  That would be the first step.  Secondly, as a previous person wrote, the clitoris is hidden because it is very sensitive. I too have a lot of labial folds that do even more to hide the little guy!  I was always very self consious about that, thinking it was 'abnormal' or weird, that something was wrong with me.  I have had issues with self consciousness about it, and the fact that my clit is so hidden as well.  I spent many, many years just dwelling on it, thinking I could never have good orgasms, feeling lacking......   My dr. never noticed anything out of the ordinary, and I never spoke to anyone about it. I just suffered through it.  After reviewing a lot of websites and yes porn too, I saw that we are all built very different yet very much the same. I also found a gynecologist I really feel comfortable with and even though it was hard for me, had a very frank discussion about my concerns. He also assured me I was perfectly normal and

Well, 30 years later (yes, people my age still have urges  lol)  I am in a long term relationship with a wonderful man and we have become very close in bed and able to talk about anything.  We have been able to talk about what feels good, what doesnt and it has been wonderful for the first time ever.   I only tell you that so that you dont waste 30 years worrying and stressing and not enjoying a healthy sexual life.      Talk to a counselor, a doctor....they can help and believe me, theyve heard it all!   good luck and God Bless

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I think you have the right mind set to wait until your married to have sex, it's perfectly normal for people your age to watch horrible porn-I wouldn't be concerned about that- as for the bleeding, I would try to just be a little more gentle.
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why feel guilty about something that you like thats like feeling guilty that u like ice cream (something like that) and im sorry but its going to be very hard for u and ur partner if u arent sexually active by the time ur married
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