I have been with my husband for 10 yrs. Once in January & again last night while trying to have sex with him, he was not able to get erect. the time in January he was unable to get an erection at all. Last night he stayed erect for maybe 3-4 minutes, he did not ejaculate but just went limp. He has always had a high sex drive & this has only happend once before about 2 years ago, @ that time I never questioned why because I automatically thought it could be a medical condition or because he was getting "older". I didnt want to say something or question it in fear of embrassing him. Only later did i find out that we was cheating on me & I became 100% sure this was the cause at that time. We have worked very hard to try & repair our relationship & I see where he has tried really hard to gain my trust back. And up until January the insecurities of him cheating on me had disappeared. when he was not able to get an erection in January, I of-course assumed the worse & i let him know how i felt & what I thought. He promised & swore up & down that it had nothing to do with another women, he said he didnt know why & It was embrassing for him He reassured me it was not nothing I was doing that caused this (I tend to think I'm not satisfying him or he has lost intrest in me) Now after last night I cant help but to really believe he is up to his old tricks again. If not having or not beable to keep an erection was a medical problem or due to his age...Wouldnt it happen more than twice in 3 months? Or wouldnt there be a decrease in the amount of sex we have? During the past 10 years, outside of the 3 times ive mentioned, NEVER has he not been able to get or keep an erection or not been able to ejaculate. Nor has he ever been able to perform except once a day. Both times this has happend recently he was gone for about 3-4 hours. I dont want to believe he is cheating again but my gut is telling me he is but only because of these 2 situations. Am I just being insecure? Am I wrong when I think he could have been with another women while he was gone & this is why he can not keep an erection with me? I dont know to much about this area in men.. Please any advice, sugestion's & knowledge with this.. just not sure what to think or believe.
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You really need couples counselling. You had a previous problem, you dealt with it, now you have another problem that stems from the previous one. Whether it's him cheating, suffering from impotence or it's just your anxiety, you need to get counselling quickly. If you put it off then your suspicions will eat you away and that will only make matters worse.
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