i have been a user for years with drugs and alcohol. i am now pregnant, i completely stopped drinking hard liquor and was clean from drugs for 5 months before i got pregnant. but i have a new live in situation for the first time and he knows nothing about my past additions. with all these raw emotions that are servicing i started smoking heroin again my use is very little, but i sometimes feel that i want to numb all the things im feeling. i am in my first tri-mester and do not want to hurt the baby, but i dont know what to do about all the emotions that i feel. my boyfriend does not understand what im going through and pushes me to want and go use again. just to forget all the stress. i live in a forgien country and have no family support nor medical benefits here. im not sure who to turn to or who i can talk to i dont want to hurt or damage the unborn fetus. but i am unhappy in this new relationship, we have only been together for 6 months. i wanted to wait to get pregnant but he is much older and got me pregnant rate away. now i feel really trapped and looking to run and every time i feel this way i run to the drug. please answer and give me some advice on what i can do. thanks sara