Im gonna keep this quick..
I got to college recently, still a virgin. Not too long into my carreer, i found myself in bed with a beautiful girl who I liked a lot. We did the whole foreplay thing, i got hard and everything. When we were ready, i hopped down off the bed to put the condom on. I did this, and i was soft before i was back on the bed. I blamed it on the alcohol, and all we did after that was spoon in her bed till the next morning.
Ever since then, I have had absolute sh*t confidence when it comes to sex and i've fallen into a deep depression. Now, whenever I think about sex... I get so nervous my mind gets all cloudy and I literally start to physically shake. I am so terrified that if i try again, I'll just go soft. Like last time. It is ruining my life.
Furthermore, HOCD has set in... the little voice inside my head saying, "wow, you didnt stay hard? you must be gay." I know deep down that this isn't true, but i cant shake it. Making me more depressed each day and its ruining my life
All I want to do is have sex with this girl :( ... I like her so much. Please help me
I'm looking for a more in depth answer than, "Just relax dude, it's nerves." I know its nerves. I just dont know HOW to calm down? f**k
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Hey there Snowboarder,
You are absolutly right it has everything to do with nerves.......it can be extreamly frustrating to loose an erection like that however it is actually pretty comon.... you get a nice erection durring foreplay and stimulation but then your concentration is broke because you have to stop to put on a condom..... then your erection goes down.... by this time your so worried about what just happened that you cant get back in the mood. next time I would just try foreplay stimulate her and get her really turned on try to give her an orgasm through fingering and other means of manual stimulation. she can then masturbate you or stimulate you to orgasm as well... doing that can help gain your confidence back and make her feel good as well just tell her you dont want to rushanything..... and one things for sure, you are not gay you are just nervous :) let me know if this makes sense and helps at all or if you have any other questions or concerns
thanks
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