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So I guess I get the chance to have sex often but I cant really get hard.
im totally hard for masterbation, but when it comes to sex we get up there and were about to and i often cant.

im underage [16] but often have had a shot or two before i do it with a girl,
and maybe a cigarette which may have effected me

im wondering any tips on making sure i can?

i went to have sex twice tonight and both times was like yeah sorry cant idk whats wrong :X

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It is probably an anxiety that is affecting your performance. If you can do it with masturbation, it means that there's nothing wrong with you physically.

Smoking does affect circulation but one cigarette will not affect your erection.
If you think too much about how you will do, that might be the reason it is bailing out on you when it really matters.

Just relax and enjoy whatever you are doing, don't stress about whether you will be cool or not and everything should be ok.
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I have the same problem......everything works fine when me and my girlfriend do the preliminary things (masturbation etc), but when I put on the condom and get ready to have sex, it becomes soft....what can I do?
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anybody have any explanations????
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It could just be your confidence (doesn’t sound likely) or even that you simply take too long to put the condom on (good job for using one bty). try to have it ready and slip it on quick so that you don’t get soft and be sure that you really are hard before you put on the condom.
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Yeah thanks for this, Im 18 years old and i have this problem alot, I guess what your sayng is you need to be hard completely?

But also, when you try toget the girl to get you really hard they dont wanna...

Also Condoms are my best friend, I feel like i cant have sex unless its with the old C. lol..

Thanks again tho, this really helped my Boost :$
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Im 24 and I get this problem sometimes.

Too much masturbation seems to be the problem.
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Man....This actually happened to me tonight! I've been with girls before in the past and was fine, but I think the difference was that I was stressed with anxiety tonight. I was hard enough for penetration and sex, but I was no where near my usual standards (I couldn't even come)! I don't drink or smoke, so is this me just stressing???
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Hi I'm 25 and have had a few intercourse as I started having intercourses a bit late. I do get a full erection and last long before cumming if I masturbate. Once it comes to an intercourse I haven't been successful of getting the full erection. Even if the erection is hard...once I put the condom on it softens away.

I do have the feeling that i will cum very quickly if I have the full hard on and then I keep thinking of different things to avoid quick/early ejaculation. This is when it softens my erection.

Is there any solution for this? So that I can enjoy a full hard erection while penetrating and can last longer at the same time?

Cheers !
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i have the same problem. i am 19 yrs old and before i had a full erection right away . it been a while that i havent had sex. i got a new gf and the past night we been trying to have sex. i get full erection while fore playing but some how i loose my erection right before amma put the condom on.. i so tired of this .this is the 3 time it happens im so worried
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I have the same exact problem as everyone else. It is so weird because my partner is so damn hot!! She's a beautiful blonde beauty that other men fantasize and "jerk off" to from day to day! I've been reading and I found out of this exercise you can do called the "Kegel" exercise. Supposedly it makes you last longer and makes your erections powerful. I have to try to believe though.
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I'm so glad I found this topic. I had the same problem, I'm 18 and I've been with a girl twice before this and everything was fine at least to the point I could have normal sex but yesterday I just couldn't get a proper erection. I don't think I was anxious because I knew what I was going to have sex this day, maybe I had too much self-confidence and that ruined the experience, the fact that everything was planned. I also thought it could be because my penis is curved upwards but from what I read it is only a good thing. Also its not her fault , I was really into her and found her very attractive.

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All of this is because of a little problem caused "manual expectation," and a lot of specialists take this into account if you go in for a consult. Most guys have no problem being hard during foreplay or oral sex, the trouble comes in when the penis is inside the vagina. A lot of us get used to manual stimulation: the way we hold and maneuver our penis during masturbation to achieve the maximum pleasure. So much so that most of us need to finish the job even when our girlfriends (or boyfriends - not judging here) masturbate us. The vagina does not provide as much a grip as the hand does, and it does not provide as much stimulation. The feeling during intercourse is not the same as manual stimulation - the idea being that you need to hit the walls of the vagina regularly to provide enough stimulus and at a fast pace. That just doesn't happen fast enough if compared to masturbation. And add to that the physical job of actually doing the movement instead of just sitting there and pleasuring yourself.

The only solution is to unlearn the manual memory by not masturbating as often, exercise regularly (especially cardio), and maybe buy a sex toy that mimics intercourse in movement. But be warned that even those tend to be tighter than the actual sex act.

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I'm 20 and I weight lift, so sex drive and testosterone shouldn't be a problem. I didn't even have sex until 18, so the first time I tried I couldn't get even the slightest bit hard. I watched porn and masturbated ever since I was 13, so that was a huge factor. Once I finally did it, it was easier to get an erection but I could never get as hard as I do when watching porn. I recently just had sex with my newest girlfriend, but it wasn't easy getting hard enough to even get it in. Once I did, I still couldnt maintain it very well. Nerves were a big factor, but also I have a porn addiction and masturbate a lot. I figure as long as I quit both and only do things with my girlfriend, this shouldn't be a problem anymore. It's all in the head.

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