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With relation to your obsessive thoughts, do you guys have them immediately upon waking ? I find mine every other month get really bad. I can feel myself getting bad again because I feel the stickiness in my brain. And they go constantly all day. I just want some relief. :(
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Yes, I definitely notice that my anxiety/obsessive thoughts really kick in first thing in the morning. I noticed morning anxiety is pretty common among us women with these post bcp symptoms. Just to give you a bit of hope, I’m about 7.5 months off and it’s definitely gotten better. I came off in March and had no symptoms until June/July and from there everything went downhill. But I’m gradually getting better so I know you all can too! I recommend St. John’s Wort, it’s helped soooo much for anxiety and I barely obsess anymore. If I get the thoughts I just brush them off. Stay strong!!!
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Thanks! I’m scared to be left alone, I’ve been off a little longer than you and was going good until I went on bio identical estrogen and progesterone. Shouldn’t have been on the estrogen and made it so much worse and introduced new harm ocd thoughts! That was 2 months ago. I’m working with a new naturopath now who’s amazing. She doesn’t think I’m ovulating every month, every other actually and that’s why it gets so bad and then okay and then bad again :(
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Did any hormone testing show that you’re estrogen dominant? I’ve seen so many women with estrogen dominance on this forum and on the old aphrodite women’s health site, so maybe that’s why you had a bad reaction to the cream. Trust me I know how it feels to have really scary thoughts, in June/July I thought I would be stuck in that terrible cycle every single day forever. It takes a lot of mental strength to retrain your mind but with each month it gets better. I’m only 19 and I was prescribed the bcp because I “showed PCOS symptoms”, but I honestly don’t think I even fully had the syndrome until now. I was only on the pill for 6 months, loved it while I was on it (even though I now realize how much weight I had gained, I fortunately lost the weight now that I’m off of it), but I never would’ve thought I and so many other women would be going through such obstacles like these. It’s mind boggling that no extensive testing is done before these doctors give us the pill. All of the symptoms, especially the mental ones, really suck but I know that this will all pass eventually. I hope all continues to go well with your naturopath, don’t give up!!

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I had a urine test done and I was estrogen dominant but a little lower then the suggested level but compared to progesterone it was deff dominant. Stupid me for not second guessing when the naturopath prescribed me both estrogen and progesterone. I just thought you had to have both for it to work ? I was wrong ! Apparently if you are still getting a period then no one should be on estrogen cream. i can’t believe doctors don’t acknowledge these symptoms as real and just shake it off like we have a mood disorder.

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Aw man I’m really sorry to hear that :( I’ve seen several women on the aphrodite forum who did the creams and it sort of pushed back their recovery process too. Most doctors just prescribe and prescribe so many things without even taking side effects/withdrawals into consideration, it’s terrible. I think exercise and eating healthy can help a lot of us if we are estrogen dominant because I recently learned that the estrogen is stored in your fat cells, and the fat cells also produce more estrogen. Hopefully we can all make it out of this as soon as we would like
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New Hope
15 posts

Update for you ladies. Sunday I finally started to spot after 6 months! I’m happy to see my body is trying to do something! November 2nd I am attending a hormone seminar with hormone specialists. Excited to learn and see what they have to offer. 

 

I have noticed that my ROCD has calmed down a little bit. But now I am just feeling uninterested, disengaged towards my fiancé. Which then makes me start ruminating again. Ugh.  Do any of you ladies experience this? 

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Hey! I feel you. I’m not like that towards my SO but just about life in general. I feel so unmotivated and like my emotions are flat, other than anxiety and sadness
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New Hope
15 posts
I agree. I am like that about life too. I just can’t get excited about things I used to. For example, I used to love decorating the house for fall and Christmas. This year I haven’t gotten out one fall decoration to decorate the house. Just feel so blah and like “I don’t care.” Makes me feel lke this is how we are going to be forever.

I have also noticed I feel tired all the time. Just plain worn out. I can sleep for 8 hours and sleep good but just feel exhausted.
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Hey girls, its Emma.

Very happy to hear that you are finally spotting! You are in the right direction, just let it time! :)
Also, could you let us know what you learned on this seminar? Sounds very interesting!

Also, yes I do get ROCD under all its forms haha! Feeling disinterested really sucks especially when you would wanna be feeling in love and goofy.

I am glad to say that i just had probably the best 7 days in a row in a long time! I could feel the love for my boyfriend, barely any arguments and just plain fun, as it is supposed to be. It really helped me to feel all of this. I told myself "when the bad thoughts will come around, I will just remember these moments"

But yesterday and today, i have had vivid dreams about other men than my boyfriend. These dreams always happen when Im ovulating or during any other bad period of my cycle. I dont know if my mood is altered BECAUSE of the dreams or if my dreams show that I am entering a state of anxiety.. I am supposed to ovulate anyday now, so this is probably why it's happening.

It's just so hard, during times like these, I just don't have the emotional mental strenght to brush off the thought. They make me so sad, I wake up with and the urge to cry comes up before even opening my eyes. I want to cry because these thoughts and dreams hurt me so much.

Take care girls, thanks for the support xxxxxx
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New Hope
15 posts
I will definitely post after the seminar to let everyone know what I learned.

I too, have had vivid dreams about other men and I wake up so mad, sad, and just frustrated with the whole process. I find that when I have these dreams I wake up and am in a "funk" for awhile because it just goes to show and remind me that I am still not out of this mess in the first place. It gets very hard and frustrating to know that this pill can cause so many issues. Then I too, have a very difficult time brushing off these feelings, especially when I get to ruminating.

I have noticed though, that the more time I spend on a computer for work or school, and the more time I am on my phone and not paying attention to my fiance, the more I feel anxious and ruminate. I honestly think it is because I am not focusing on us. I have noticed that when I get anxious and ruminate, is when I pull away from him. But when I start engaging and spending time, conversing, and doing things with him, the better I feel.

Stay strong ladies. It gets better, just at a very slow rate!
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Anyone else’s brain seem to tell them it won’t get better and that you won’t be okay? I’m trying so hard to tell myself that I’ll be okay one day but it’s like my mind isn’t believing it
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Yes! Mine every freaking time! :( hang in there!
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Hi everyone I need some words of encouragement right now, I feel so defeated. It’s been a year and four months and I feel so numb right now. It’s the last day of my cycle and I just can’t feel anything. I want to cry but even that feels forced idk what to do. I miss my life before all of this mess. I feel so indifferent about everything, idk why this has so much power over me.
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Hi there, have you been to a naturopath at all ?! They can usually balance hormones usually natural things. I know how you feel and it sucks. I keep telling myself to hold on and be strong but it’s so hard, I miss the person I was too. Some people it can take up to two years, look how far you’ve come already, you will be a stronger person for going through this
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