I'm aware lethargy is common among sleepless nights, and to some this may appear an ordinary all-nighter insomniac case, but as of recently I've been paying more attention to other people after their own night of wide eyes. Usually they claim to be experiencing nothing more than drowsiness and slowed reactions, but none of them seem to be able to compare the symptoms I awake to every morning.

  I've had insomnia for as long as I can remember, and I have noticed over the years that my body reacts differently each time I get out of bed in the morning. It's similar to waking up to a hangover, almost, but like you're high as a kite on weed at the same time. (By the internet's definition.)

  I just want to see if anyone here experiences something similar, or if someone has answers, so I'll just list all my symptoms here.

  My muscles are always stiff and sore, I feel like I'm under water, and every movement I make doesn't feel natural, but a struggle. I sneeze once and I'm out of breath for at least a minute, reaching for a glass from the cupboard feels like a ten-minute workout, and my skin is always drier than usual. My friends and family have noticed a change in personality while these symptoms are occurring, that I tend to be more skittish at times and I can't type properly because the characters are all a blur. The world around me is a haze, my hands and legs are trembling, and my mind can't process more than one word at a time.

  I always feel like I'm too tired to even be counted among the living population. I am a teenage girl, and there will probably be some sarcastic remarks about that given my complaints, lol, but I just want to make sure it's nothing more than heavy lids, that's all. My family is worried about my mental health and my doctor won't tell me anything more except my next prescription. No more than a year and a half ago, both he and my therapist teamed up and prescribed me Lexapro, but it hasn't been working since so I recently broke off of it. Since my symptoms have been worsening, I found myself researching them and found myself here, and thought I'd write them all down.

  I have a long history of serious mental disorders, the main antagonists being trichotillomania (BFRB) and chronic depression. I'm not particularly afraid of this being something serious, but I still have hope that it is nothing more than ordinary insomnia.

 

  Thank you.